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The Relationship Thread


Ron&Hermione
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On 9/20/2021 at 9:09 AM, Matthew said:

Fellow UKFFers I’m after your advice (as this is anonymous, I feel this is a good way to establish opinion).

I’m in a fairly new relationship (just under 3 months official). At the beginning of our relationship she signposted that she was still in touch with a guy she was friends with benefits with. And that he was part of the same friendship group of friends from back in uni (so when they meet up, he’ll be there). She did say that she and he both respect when each other are in a relationship, and so the conversation is friend zone only.

I was fine with this, as my neighbour it turns out is also an ex (although not in regular contact, though it is friendly).

It turns out the texting is daily, and she only seems to message him when I’m not around. Even if it means not reading/messaging for over 24hrs. The only time I’ve caught a glimpse of their messages, he’s been flirting “come to bed”, and so I fail to believe this is the only time he’s done it.

I’ve asked why she only does it out of sight of me, and get “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable by messaging if you’re around”, to which I replied, that in doing so seems like she had something to hide. Nothing has changed, and she continues to only do it when I’m not around.

What’s your opinion? Anything to worry about? Worth bringing up again? 

Went through a similar situation (regarding messages) with my divorce where my ex was regularly hiding her screen when messaging a work colleague. Long story short, after 16 years together she had been sleeping with him when supposedly working away with the SQA. She did have something to hide but she could no longer trust me apparently because I'd read the messages and seen the photos on her phone (we both knew each others pin code). So I was the one at fault.

Point is, I knew something was up for a couple of years but couldn't quite place item. An old friend said to me years ago "If there's any doubt, there's no doubt" and that phrase has stuck with me all these years. The minute you think something is up, it probably is and it's time to make the hard decision.

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2 hours ago, Suplex Sinner said:

The minute you think something is up, it probably is

Dangerous advice on a forum where someone was once angry and suspicious of thier partner because they owned a poster of a black celebrity.

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Sadly it's not. State of this place, that this needs to be clarified.. 😂

I can't remember the exact details but I vaguely recall there was a user who got super upset about his girlfriend liking Kanye or something stupid like that.

I've no doubt someone with better memory than me will come along to clarify

 

(In response to @neil )

Edited by Chest Rockwell
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6 hours ago, Suplex Sinner said:

Point is, I knew An old friend said to me years ago "If there's any doubt, there's no doubt" and that phrase has stuck with me all these years. The minute you think something is up, it probably is and it's time to make the hard decision.

That's good advice. From personal experience, if you ever think your partner might or even could cheat on you then they probably already have. Best to get the fuck out as soon as you can and don't try and forgive them or work it out. An ex of mine cheated on me and we stayed together afterwards but I never really forgave her, a part of me always fucking hated her even when the rest of me loved her. A relationship can never work with a scar like that.

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1 minute ago, LaGoosh said:

That's good advice. From personal experience, if you ever think your partner might or even could cheat on you then they probably already have. Best to get the fuck out as soon as you can and don't try and forgive them or work it out. An ex of mine cheated on me and we stayed together afterwards but I never really forgave her, a part of me always fucking hated her even when the rest of me loved her. A relationship can never work with a scar like that.

I know everyone has different lines in the sand in terms of what they will tolerate in a relationship but if there's a possibility of one or other cheating in the relationship it isn't strong enough. Trust has to be earned and once broken, it's not something that can be refilled/replaced easily if at all. 

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20 minutes ago, Chest Rockwell said:

Sadly it's not. State of this place, that this needs to be clarified.. 😂

I can't remember the exact details but I vaguely recall there was a user who got super upset about his girlfriend liking Kanye or something stupid like that.

I've no doubt someone with better memory than me will come along to clarify

 

(In response to @neil )

Sphinx? 

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