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Ron&Hermione

The Relationship Thread

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Given that you say she's mentioned it to you herself, I'd say you're fine if you run it by her the way you've worded it there. You're getting married in a bit; there shouldn't be a reason that you can't have an honest talk, especially because you're asking her opinion rather than just dropping it on her. What's the worst that will happen? That she doesn't agree? In that case, you're still where you are now.

At the very least, if it transpires that you have to stay full time because she's the one intending to reduce her hours once the baby appears, it'd be handy for you to know that now.

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Also, you've said that outside the paid job, you'd be doing stuff around the house that needs doing. You're not asking to work only part-time to just skive off, you're offering to take care of the bulk of an essential element of life together. Doesn't sound like a dick move to me.

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I'm not going to lie but I'm absolutely shitting it my fiance is about to go Into labour with our second little boy anytime now. She is in slow labour and having contractions so it's just a case of waiting now.

Im so excited but so nervous about it all 

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On 8/8/2019 at 5:35 PM, Kfogg1991 said:

I'm not going to lie but I'm absolutely shitting it my fiance is about to go Into labour with our second little boy anytime now. She is in slow labour and having contractions so it's just a case of waiting now.

Im so excited but so nervous about it all 

Congratulations! Hope it all went smoothly. 

 

Moving on. 

I nearly made it, umpteen years without a partner and then suddenly a brief two week thing that ended because there was no spark and she got cold feet. It's what it was and we're still in contact, so that's something I guess.

It's taken years to shake off the stink of some very wrong and some very abusive relationships, however it's now slowly starting to pick up as I'm actively looking for a partner. Dates in, Preston Wolverhampton and Manchester have happened and an aborted one in Nottingham when I got ghosted after already buying tickets lool.

I'm now at a bit of a cross roads though. Dating apps, are bit of a fucking minefield, and I'm not down with swiping to meet people based on looks alone and would rather get to know them speak on the phone or whatever,  alas that's not the done thing these days.

It's also difficult for me to date in the lgbt scene as I work in it and have to declare it if my partner is trans incase of conflicts of interest.

I guess what I'm asking is therefore where or what's worked for others after sometime out of dating. Usual rules dont apply so I'm kinda looking for different options that I've maybe missed. 

 

 

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Why would you have to declare that your partner is trans? Why would your employer be interested in the sex of your partner and how could that be considered a conflict of interest? It sounds like a breach of a potential partners’ privacy more than anything. 

Is there a rival lgbt scene they might be working for?

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I’ve got a girlfriend now! She messaged me on a dating site and only had one picture, so I thought it was definitely a catfish or robot. But it’s a real girl. She’s lovely, and isn’t even engaged to anyone else or anything.

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On 8/12/2019 at 7:18 AM, stumobir said:

Why would you have to declare that your partner is trans? Why would your employer be interested in the sex of your partner and how could that be considered a conflict of interest? It sounds like a breach of a potential partners’ privacy more than anything. 

Is there a rival lgbt scene they might be working for?

Possible ' Doctor/Patient' conflicts  I work for the NHS in that field. 

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Head off to uni in 2 weeks. My uber driver the other week has already tried setting me up with someone. 

Chatting a lot with a girl who was part of my big 40 person group of strangers for Truck Fest and going to a ton of gigs with her because she lives close by. 

Actually feeling well and confident enough in myself to try and see where it goes with her. Haven't been that well in near 3 years so can only be a good thing. 

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On 7/28/2019 at 5:19 PM, FelatioLips said:

We have a wedding later this year but the honeymoon and majority of the wedding is paid for in full outside of spending money. Our plan is to start trying for kids right after so at some point one of us will be dropping hours to look after the kid anyway and previous conversations have pointed at that being me.

Late to the dance here, but it may be worth investing some of those part-time hours when you're at home into maybe trying to add to your CV with skills gleaned from Open University or something similar? That will maybe open doors to a job that you prefer, and as you say, kids are planned, and there'll maybe come a time where the onus is back on you to do the majority of the earning for a bit. Wouldn't hurt to prepare ahead of time if you have the chance.

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3 hours ago, David said:

Late to the dance here, but it may be worth investing some of those part-time hours when you're at home into maybe trying to add to your CV with skills gleaned from Open University or something similar? That will maybe open doors to a job that you prefer, and as you say, kids are planned, and there'll maybe come a time where the onus is back on you to do the majority of the earning for a bit. Wouldn't hurt to prepare ahead of time if you have the chance.

Definitely something I’ll be looking at. Top advice cheers!

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How to move on from a broken heart?

My Fiancee finished with me at the beginning of this month and I'm struggling with the fact I've lost the love of my life.

We had been together, for the best part of two and a half years and were due to marry next summer.

Throughout our relationship, I failed to look after myself, with regards to my mental health. I would often be moody, glare and on occasion lash out and say things that weren't acceptable. For whatever reason, I would usually deny being in a mood.

We had many fantastic moments though and I genuinely thought we were forever. However, after one too many moody outbursts, she finished things.

I'm now back living with my parents. She's got a ten year old son who I love dearly and I miss them both so much.

My ex unfortunately has experienced a few abusive relationships in the past and said she couldn't risk being hurt by me again.

It's only due to leaving that I've been able to get my act together. It's given me space and time to realise I was very much in the wrong. I've exercised daily, started eating well, smartened up my appearance, had lots of sleep. Done everything I need to stay healthy and well.

I'm just struggling with the fact I couldn't see what was happening till it was too late. In the nearly two weeks since we split, I've not had one dark cloud moment or black mood etc... I can only put it down to looking after myself, in a way that helps me function and live with depression without the negativity and dark moments blighting me.

At the beginning of May we started a business together and are in a self-employed partnership. Everything is such a mess!! I think she still loves me but she can't risk being hurt again.

I'm at a loss at how to begin to move on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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7 hours ago, Brock Goldberg said:

How to move on from a broken heart?

My Fiancee finished with me at the beginning of this month and I'm struggling with the fact I've lost the love of my life.

We had been together, for the best part of two and a half years and were due to marry next summer.

Throughout our relationship, I failed to look after myself, with regards to my mental health. I would often be moody, glare and on occasion lash out and say things that weren't acceptable. For whatever reason, I would usually deny being in a mood.

We had many fantastic moments though and I genuinely thought we were forever. However, after one too many moody outbursts, she finished things.

I'm now back living with my parents. She's got a ten year old son who I love dearly and I miss them both so much.

My ex unfortunately has experienced a few abusive relationships in the past and said she couldn't risk being hurt by me again.

It's only due to leaving that I've been able to get my act together. It's given me space and time to realise I was very much in the wrong. I've exercised daily, started eating well, smartened up my appearance, had lots of sleep. Done everything I need to stay healthy and well.

I'm just struggling with the fact I couldn't see what was happening till it was too late. In the nearly two weeks since we split, I've not had one dark cloud moment or black mood etc... I can only put it down to looking after myself, in a way that helps me function and live with depression without the negativity and dark moments blighting me.

At the beginning of May we started a business together and are in a self-employed partnership. Everything is such a mess!! I think she still loves me but she can't risk being hurt again.

I'm at a loss at how to begin to move on.

 

I can't fathom what you are going through to be honest but sorry to hear that. It's good that you are getting yourself into better shape mentally and physically. The only advice I can offer is that it has only been two weeks. I think you really need to stay on this positive path you've set yourself for a while longer and if it's not too late show her you have changed and do everything you can to stay as this more positive new you. I know it sounds so easy when someone on a wrestling forum summarizes it and perhaps i'm unintentionally making light of your situation but if it's the negative things that caused her to end it with you now then repairing those things might repair the relationship

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I appreciate the reply.

I agree with what you say Simon. I can only look after myself, do what I need to do to stay well and see how things play out.

The emotional stress, the loss of the two most important people in my life and the guilt is hard to deal with.

I do feel guilty for being moody, not listening to advice and lashing out, which I did at times.

I always felt we loved each other so much we could come through anything together, I guess I was wrong or took that for granted.

 

 

 

 

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