Paid Members John Matrix Posted November 7, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted November 7, 2014 A topic inspired by stumbling across my old school photos and reports last weekend during a clear out of the loft. It was pretty alarming to see how little I, personality wise, have changed over the years. Bear in mind these were written 20 years ago, the teachers observations were spot on then, and still very applicable today. Almost unanimously, teachers thought i had huge potential, but shot myself in the foot because i had a dismal attention span, was easily waylaid, and spent more time trying to entertain and amuse than focusing on the task in hand - what's very clear from year 8 onwards (which is when i started playing American Football) is that i ceased to do any homework whatsoever, focusing all my time instead on watching 3 games a week, learning my playbook etc instead completely ignoring the bigger picture. All those things are still very relevent, i'm always fucking around, buzzing about from one idea to the next without ever really committing to any of it, I dont take life seriously enough, and my concentration span is diabolical - at least once a day, ill get up from my desk to do something, get a few yards away, forget, and have to go back to look at my monitor to see what the last thing on the screen was in the hope it'll remind me of why i got up in the first place. Of course, the reports contain my insight on how i think things are going, my favourite quote being "The best thing about dance was when we were asked to create a fight scene because i enjoy performing and love violence". I actually fucking wrote that. Looking back, it's quite stunning how little i've grown and matured as a person over the years to be honest, i'm quite content sitting on my little cloud but at the same time, feel pretty ignorant and narrow minded because of it, not that i have any intention of doing anything about that of course. As Billy Joel once said, "He never been able to learn from mistakes, so he can't understand why his heart always breaks". Guess i'm proof if proof be needed that ignorance is bliss. I'm sure some of you will have "found yourselves" or have rags to riches, or indeed the opposite stories to tell. I'd be interested to hear them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Surf Digby Posted November 7, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted November 7, 2014 I could pretty much just paraphrase what you've written. Bright lad, lots of potential, poor attention span. Except I don't think they ever said attention span. They generally used words like "lazy" or "apathy". By the time I was about 14 I was aware myself that my attention span. was a problem, as even when doing things that I wanted to do, I'd find myself distracted by utterly pointless things, like the staples in my exercise book not being straight, or how the folds in the curtains created abstract images within the pattern. It used to drive me mad, but as I'd never heard of things like Attention Deficit Disorder, I spent a long time accepting the teacher's reasoning that I was just making excuses for my laziness. I'm not a whole lot better now, with my mind constantly flitting between ideas for music, photography, wrestling, cooking, interior design, or whatever subject my brain has decided to latch onto that day. Personalitywise, I still watch the same films, laugh at the same comedians, listen to the same music (although I'm not as narrow minded as I was in my teens ) wear the same kind of clothes, fap to the same women . I like to think it's because I got it right straight away and there's no need for to change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Sergio Mendacious Posted November 7, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted November 7, 2014 Me too — smart lad, but too keen to be the class clown, doesn't try, doesn't pay attention. I remember about 15 distinctive moments in my school days where what I thought were horrible punishments were really teachers (rightly or wrongly) coming down hard on me to try to push me in the right direction in terms of working hard. Didn't help that I got sent spuriously to a secondary school where no-one from my primary went, for no good reason, and so I went from a well-adjusted kid with plenty of mates to a lonely guy who would fight anything and had no friends for a good year or so. I got in a lot of minor trouble in my first two years are secondary school, and it eroded my self-confidence to a horrible degree, but I learned to play the game, and gradually got back to a semblance of myself. But I'll always miss the kid I was before age 12 — I went back to my primary school for work experience, and a teacher took me aside and asked if I was okay, because I'd once been so full of life and fun. That's heartbreaking, to me. Worked hard at being more open and confident, but I think it was just annoying to most people. Have struggled to make friends, form connections, and generally be a part of society. Relocating to the USA hasn't helped that, along with other issues, and now I feel more isolated and insular than at any other part of my life. I long for the chance to go out and meet people, but if you told me to cross the street and say hello to a potential friend, I'd probably say that I've given up going across streets for the week. Went into a bar the other day, had a mild panic attack, and walked right out. So, yes, I've changed. I don't like who I've changed into, and I don't really see a way back. Big struggle to post this, but honestly, I find that the internet is the only place I can be close to who I used to be, even though I have issues with taking stuff to heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators PowerButchi Posted November 7, 2014 Moderators Share Posted November 7, 2014 Not hugely. I'm probably a lot more political now, but that's about it. I've become a lot more sextacular too Age 17: Age 29: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members SpursRiot2012 Posted November 7, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted November 7, 2014 Most of my school reports, with the exception of Drama, had me down as "disruptive." I was not a good student. Aside from that, up until three years ago I spent most nights blasted on cheap cider, with some drugs thrown in here and there. I'm much better now, but now and then I slip into old habits. I know for a fact, if I didn't have my girl, I'd be completely fucked right now. I mean, I wouldn't care. It'd be cocaine and whiskey on a nightly basis, assuming I could afford it. Literally the only thing stopping me from giving into those desires is not wanting my girl to have to live with me like that. But it's so hard. I don't know if I'll make it. Also, I'm basically unemployable. I tend to luck into decent jobs, but they never last. I can't sit still. I get bored. Start pulling sickies until the point where I have to quit before I get fired. I'm still terrible with money. I'm of a mind that I just need one big score to set me up and I'll be OK, but I won't be. I'll blow through it in no time at all. So I guess the answer is, I've changed a lot. But it probably won't last. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 You're not unemployable if you've had loads of jobs, you just can't hold them down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members SpursRiot2012 Posted November 7, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted November 7, 2014 Yeah, I suppose what I meant was I shouldn't be employed. I'm nearly 30 years old. I'm not sure I can keep this balancing act going much longer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members John Matrix Posted November 7, 2014 Author Paid Members Share Posted November 7, 2014 I've become a lot more sextacular too Loving that Michigan zip up brother. Very nice. I'll try and scan in one of the photos I stumbled across from primary school, i look like fucking Guile from Street Fighter. My first flat top, styled with sugar water because we couldnt afford hair gel. Yep, you heard me. Sugar dissolved in water, sticky liquid. In that respect, i spend far more on cosmetics these days, more through necessity given how much i've neglected to take care of myself over the years, rather than overwhelming metrosexual tendencies. One thing I am happy about, although at the same time dissapointed as it's for completely the wrong reasons, is i'm far more family focused these days, both immediate and extended. I spent so much of my teenage years and early 20's so wrapped up in myself, it's criminal how little time i spent with my Mum, Nan and younger brother, much less my now wife. I'm not making that mistake anymore, lost Nan before i truly had a chance to make a means, one of two significant wake up calls i've had in the past five years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy Bifkin Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 Not much. I still rock my khakis with a cuff and a crease and I still got love for the streets. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members John Matrix Posted November 7, 2014 Author Paid Members Share Posted November 7, 2014 Plus, you know the lead singer of Go West, so you must never, ever change. That's easily the coolest anecdote i've ever heard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Your Fight Site Posted November 7, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted November 7, 2014 I don’t think I’ve changed that much since I was say, 12 years old. I’m 25 now and like my 12 year old self I still like wrestling, and still interested in the Internet and designing and developing websites. I still watch wrestling, and have managed to turn an interest into a career since leaving full-time education. Some parts about me have changed. Growing up I always excelled in art and was always doodling with pens and pencils and liked comic books, which worked against me when I opted for art at GCSE level because I had no interest in trying any art discipline that wasn’t drawing with a pencil. I was good at life drawing and drawing objects; I liked what you drew either looked like the subject or didn’t. So abstract art, or things like collages, or painting where you didn’t have the same degree of control, just didn’t interest me in the slightest. I wanted to do pencil drawings and have my peers go, “That’s really good, that.” Another thing that will have changed about me is my music tastes. It took me until college to really develop a particular preference in music. Going through school, you got swayed by what was popular and you would go along with others, but I never actually developed a connection with anything. I didn’t own any of my own music on tape or CD, and it wasn’t until late-secondary school that I had the confidence to go, “I like that/I don’t like that.” Before then I tried not to listen to anything for fear of someone going, “You like Band/Singer X? You poof, they’re shit!” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Surf Digby Posted November 7, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted November 7, 2014 I'll try and scan in one of the photos I stumbled across from primary school, i look like fucking Guile from Street Fighter. My first flat top, styled with sugar water because we couldnt afford hair gel. Yep, you heard me. Sugar dissolved in water, sticky liquid.How did you manage to keep the wasps away? During the summer, we had a practice known as "treacling", which involved sneaking up behind people and pouring treacle on them, so that they'd be a warm sticky mess, as demonstrate by the massively haired Rachel here: That's me in the middle, in that unwanted mullet phase of growing my hair long. In for a penny, and all that. Here's me at the age of 17 rocking the 1980s sports jacket/bandana/golf club look. Fucking rock star. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Astro Hollywood Posted November 7, 2014 Moderators Share Posted November 7, 2014 In for a penny, and all that. Here's me at the age of 17 rocking the 1980s sports jacket/bandana/golf club look. Fucking rock star. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Pitcos Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 I used to think I'd changed loads over the years, but I haven't. Same personality flaws and defects as far back as I can remember, many to do with attention span and laziness and fear -- I did remember specifics recently from when I was about twelve that still apply today but I can't recall them now, either because of shame blocking them out or general shitheadedness. I saw a photo of myself from ten years or so back today, and though I was fat then, I've put on nine hundred stone since. Surf, the lad at the back in the school photo looks like a Chris Lilley character that people would say was being racist. What's his deal? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Surf Digby Posted November 7, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted November 7, 2014 He's just a lad called Paul (although he does look a bit like he's wearing brownface in that picture). The guy on the left with his face covered is an Asian lad called Farhad, so there's no racism going on there that I was ever aware of. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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