The Old Gits

[Devon Malcolm]

Post all 'old people are fucking idiots' stories here.

 

I had two encounters with a couple of coffin dodgers today.

 

Firstly, some rancid old bag moved to the back of the bus today when I got on with my daughters muttering "Bloody kids!" and they hadn't even done anything yet. Plus my kids don't smell of shit and don't eat picked onion Monster Munch for breakfast like most kids so she can fuck off.

 

Also, some decrepit old maggot charmer did an illegal U-turn into the half of the dual carriageway we were crossing when the lights were on red on our side, nearly ploughed into us, clearly didn't fucking see us at all, and just kept driving even though I yelled "What are you doing you stupid old git?!" at him. He got out of his car to go into the off licence and clearly couldn't see or hear a fucking thing and shouldn't be on the road at all.

 

Don't they test old people or something to see if they're safe to be driving?

[neil is brill]

Mrs. neil is brill and I are new parents. I suspect that we are the youngest adults living in our village at ages 30 and 28. Any time we catch a bus, there's always some coffin dodger muttering because they have to move back one seat whilst we occupy the designated pushchair bay. Fucking pisses me right off, they actually expect us to fold the pram down whilst me or the missus sit there with a newborn in our arms.

 

It gets worse when two stops down, another fogey gets on with a trolley and proceeds to tell us that we shouldn't be sitting there. They'll then sit a row or two behind and stare holes into the back of your head like the world owes them something because they're ancient.

 

I'm normally a respectful person but I snapped at one of them this week, telling them that just because they were at the end of their life, doesn't give them the right to take it out on one whose life is just beginning. Urgh!

[RIDDUM_N_STYLE]

Not completely old, at a guess late 50's/early 60s but this woman had a real gripe on when she boarded my bus heading towards town the other week because there were prams in each holding bay and she wanted to wheel on in her wheelchair, which basically forced one of the poor girls to move over and the other move her pram's position to fit the two of them just to accommodate this bitch. If it wasn't for the fact I had my work uniform and lanyard on I might have said something

[Your Fight Site]

I remember a couple of years ago we were driving to my girlfriend’s parents’ house for Christmas. So it was winter, roads were icy, and so on.

 

We’re on the dual carriage way and following an old biddy in a little blue car. She’s doing about 40 mph, and keeps veering to the side as though to let us past, but the road’s not wide enough to pass safely. We’re coming up to the turn-off for my girlfriend’s parents’. The old biddy wants to turn off too. The turn-off is to the right so the old biddy pulls over… and over… and into the oncoming traffic lane thinking that’s the waiting point.

 

Cue some young guy coming the other way slamming on his brakes to mitigate a head-on collision; a coach that was about to coming from the turn-on onto the dual carriage way slamming its brakes on; and us having to drive around this fiasco to get to where we were going. Not before staring at this old woman—who looked about 90—with her hands on her head like the frail old bint she was.

 

It’s lucky the road wasn’t as busy as it normally was, because that could have been a disaster, and decided in that someone like that should not be on the roads.

 

I’ve also have a couple of run-ins with “holier than thou” types. One when I was about 10, sat in a seat on a bus, and an old woman gets on and says, “Well aren’t you going to move?!” Not, “could I sit there, please?”. And I would have moved had she asked nicely.

 

Also had a couple of bus stop incidents where old people have just stepped in front of queues when a bus has pulled up, then been surprised when I’ve said, “Excuse me, but there was a queue before you”.

 

There was one guy in Edinburgh who was particularly abrasive. He went to get on the bus, so I made a beeline for the doors and stepped on in front of him. He got in a flap and I turned around and said, “We were before you.” “Were you? Were you in a queue?” “Yes, I was, actually. As were all those people at the bus stop.” “Oh, fuck off, you little prick!” And this is the generation who grumble about young people as per Devon’s story.

[kieranjennings]

 

There was one guy in Edinburgh who was particularly abrasive. He went to get on the bus, so I made a beeline for the doors and stepped on in front of him. He got in a flap and I turned around and said, “We were before you.” “Were you? Were you in a queue?” “Yes, I was, actually. As were all those people at the bus stop.” “Oh, fuck off, you little prick!” And this is the generation who grumble about young people as per Devon’s story.

 

Technically you dont have to queue to get on a bus though, its just a very British thing to do so. It is a Bus Stop so as long as you are waiting there you have as much right as anyone to get on when you can.

 

Its not very polite but its not worth getting into a grumble about as there is no right or wrong.

[Paigefan]

I remember a couple of years ago we were driving to my girlfriend’s parents’ house for Christmas. So it was winter, roads were icy, and so on.

 

We’re on the dual carriage way and following an old biddy in a little blue car. She’s doing about 40 mph, and keeps veering to the side as though to let us past, but the road’s not wide enough to pass safely. We’re coming up to the turn-off for my girlfriend’s parents’. The old biddy wants to turn off too. The turn-off is to the right so the old biddy pulls over… and over… and into the oncoming traffic lane thinking that’s the waiting point.

 

Cue some young guy coming the other way slamming on his brakes to mitigate a head-on collision; a coach that was about to coming from the turn-on onto the dual carriage way slamming its brakes on; and us having to drive around this fiasco to get to where we were going. Not before staring at this old woman—who looked about 90—with her hands on her head like the frail old bint she was.

 

It’s lucky the road wasn’t as busy as it normally was, because that could have been a disaster, and decided in that someone like that should not be on the roads.

 

I’ve also have a couple of run-ins with “holier than thou” types. One when I was about 10, sat in a seat on a bus, and an old woman gets on and says, “Well aren’t you going to move?!” Not, “could I sit there, please?”. And I would have moved had she asked nicely.

 

Also had a couple of bus stop incidents where old people have just stepped in front of queues when a bus has pulled up, then been surprised when I’ve said, “Excuse me, but there was a queue before you”.

 

There was one guy in Edinburgh who was particularly abrasive. He went to get on the bus, so I made a beeline for the doors and stepped on in front of him. He got in a flap and I turned around and said, “We were before you.” “Were you? Were you in a queue?” “Yes, I was, actually. As were all those people at the bus stop.” “Oh, fuck off, you little prick!” And this is the generation who grumble about young people as per Devon’s story.

She shouldn't have to ask, your ment to just move from the front seats for old people and people with babies when they get on because otherwise they might take a long time getting off and hold up the bus route which you would then come on here and complain about.

 

Some people also say young women, some people add if they are hot, I sit nearer the back to avoid all that drama.

[neil is brill]

And this is the generation who grumble about young people as per Devon’s story.

 

"Respect your elders" is the old peoples equivalent of "The customer is always right."

[quote the raven]

Riddum and i reading your post wrong or was the lady in a wheel chair asking to move some prams so she could get on the bus? If she cant walk then where was she supposed to go?

 

There are two types of old people the type that carry on fuss and bother and dont really care about things and the type that clearly have nothing to do but moan and bitch.

[Devon Malcolm]

She shouldn't have to ask, your ment to just move from the front seats for old people and people with babies when they get on because otherwise they might take a long time getting off and hold up the bus route which you would then come on here and complain about.

 

He didn't say he was sat on the front seats. Even if he was, that's not the way to ask someone to move, is it?

[bAzTNM#1]

I remember when I was a kid some old dear attacked me with a walking stick. Must have been 7 or 8 at the time. Walking along the street and this mad old bastard grabs me and puts me in the doorway of a shop and beat the shit out of me with her walking stick. It was one of those wooden ones too, not like the half-plastic ones these days. Mum said various bystanders were trying to get her off me. Still don't have a clue what it was about. Busted up nose and everything. It was awful. She gave me the worst beating I've ever had in my life.

 

I also saw an old woman getting her toes run over by a bus because she decided to jump the queue. Awful.

[Undefeated Steak]

I was going to ask if anybody had any of these stories that doesn't involve a bus or bus stop until I realised that I couldn't think of one myself that doesn't.

 

I hate litter. Within reason, I'll pick up any litter and put it in a nearby bin (I don't walk through town centre clutching half a dozen empty milk cartons but you get the point). I was sat waiting for a bus and there was an empty drink can in the corner of the bus stop that I hadn't noticed (which if I had, there'd have been a good chance I'd have thrown it in the bin).

 

The next minute an old (70+) bloke walks straight up to me and demands that I pick the can up before giving me an earful about how lazy I was to have left it on the floor.

 

I was so taken back by it that I got up and pushed him in front of a passing..... nah, I'm kidding. I did tell him where to go though and threw in a handful of four-letter words that I don't normally use in front of elders.

 

I wonder if there's something about buses that triggers something in their brains?

[FLips]

Logan's Run had it right.

[Teedy Kay]

She shouldn't have to ask, your ment to just move from the front seats for old people and people with babies when they get on because otherwise they might take a long time getting off and hold up the bus route which you would then come on here and complain about.

 

Some people also say young women, some people add if they are hot, I sit nearer the back to avoid all that drama.

That's not necessarily true, the seats are for people who need them more than you. A prime example of this was after I'd had a knee op as a teen, sat near the front as basic walking was agony and took me ages.

 

Old fart gets on (in good health) and the bus is full, he demands I move as there's a sticker on the window of my seat asking to give the seat up to those that need it more than you, I told him I needed it more than him so was staying put.

 

He kicked off, the driver got involved, and it ended up me having to roll my fucking trouser leg up to prove I'd got bandaging and all sorts.

 

I stayed put, and the fart went looking elsewhere for a seat.

[sick love song]

I have recently moved out into a village in the sticks ... its like the waiting room for the afterlife .. So i have tonnes of 'Arrrrgh old people' stories, but I forgave them all for the actions of one little old yoda who was hobbling around the local coop, with a budgie on her shoulder. I later saw her driving off with the budgie on her steering wheel, shuffling from side to side as she turned the wheel.

[air_raid]

Old people just ignore queues, for anything, despite their 70+ years more queuing experience than the rest of us. Self-service machines in the supermarket are another, they just disregard the waiting line of people and pop themselves into position when the previous shopper moves off, without even having to break their stride. Well, shuffle.

 

You shout "There's a queue here, you ignorant prick!" but they ignore you because they're deaf, so you leave them to it until they pay for their Murray mints and fuck off, leaving behind a lingering stench of Fishermans Friend and piss.

 

Plus they find the site for my work, ring us up, and when we tell them orders have to be placed through the site, they start saying "can't you do it for me" and "I can't work this computer" and "I'm no good on the Internet." Well, get off the fucking Internet and go to a physical shop instead then. That's what your free bus pass is for!