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What's your Dragons Den pitch?


ShortOrderCook

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We've all got at least one, surely? Years ago walking around a shopping centre with then girlfriend, a song was playing that I was enjoying and I didn't know. I commented to the lady that I had an idea that was going to make me millions and went on to explain that this genius system of mine would allow you to recognise and identify a song through your phone by simply calling my special number and playing the music into the speaker. Stepping back to await her utterly impressed response and to have fallen in love me with ten times over again she instead reliaby informed me 'They already have that. It's called Shazam.' And went on to prove as such after I refused to believe someone had beat me to my idea and already executed it.

 

Since that crushing disappointment, I went back to the drawing board and I think I'm on to a winner. I've had it in my mind for years, I just need some funding. I'm trustfully sharing my incredibly lucrative concept here with you pilgrims. If you decide to go off and steal my idea without giving me a slice of the pie, I will come for you and I will kill you.

 

So Dragons, I'm asking for a

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A pillow that has a mechanism in it causing it to warm up when squeezed/cuddled. It wouldn't leak or go cold like a hot water bottle & wouldn't pose the potential risk of being left on like an electric blanket. You could kick it out of bed once you got warm enough & put on different washable covers. The covers could be licensed for various kids characters (Teletubbies, Feebles or whatever sprogs watch nowadays) so it'd be like a warming teddy bear. Adult sized covers featuring hunks/hot chicks could be bought & sold as novely items for single folk.

 

I call it the 'squdger'. I gots to get paid!

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Ah, I see.

 

How's it powered? Fuel cell? Thermo nuclear reactor? Something that never runs out presumably, otherwise I'm struggling to see the difference between this and the classic hot water bottle.

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How's it powered? Fuel cell? Thermo nuclear reactor? Something that never runs out presumably,

 

That's my only problem. I imagined some kind of clockwork mechanism that's activated by squeezing/cuddling. Hot water bottles eventually go cold or can leak, the squdger does neither!

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You do get those self-heating little plastic things that you click the thing inside them and they heat up, but they have to be "reset" by being boiled or put in the microwave, as they go hard after use. Provided that is not an issue, then this exists already. If that is an issue then you need to invent a new way of heating. Which would presumably be an alternative energy source of some kind with amazing applications far beyond a self-heating "squidger".

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There must be some kind of heating element that can be powered by clockwork? Same principle as the clockwork radio. Plus, it's 'Squdger'. :angry:

 

So you spend 10 minutes winding up your pillow, getting nice and hot, and then have a hot pillow to rest on for an hour or two, before you have to wake up and wind it up again.

 

I'm oot :p You either need a hot water bottle, or an electric blanket for permanent heat, or as Chest says make an exciting new discovery in limitless energy, which might well be somewhat more important a commercial find than the squdger.

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They should have machines in pubs and clubs that have disposable runners/sneakers/pumps for women, coz I'm sick of

(a) Listening to women moan about wearing high heels on cobblestones and/or having to walk too far for a taxi in them

(b) Giving a jockeyback to a lady and finding fake tan skidmarks on my good shirts, especially if they are light coloured ones.

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