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Who's the UK's best in 2013?


Jason Mayhem

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Posted

Ok so you know the situation.... Simon Cowell rings you up and says "Look, [insert your name here], I'm going to start a wrestling tv show and I know you spend a lot of time on wrestling forums so you clearly know what you are talking about."

 

Basically he puts you in charge of the talent for the show and asks you to provide the top 8 heavyweights, top 8 cruiser weights and top 6 tag teams, but only from guys that are British and not under contract elsewhere.

 

So who would your picks be??

 

For the hell of it who would your refs and announcers etc be??

 

I guess the question is, who are the elite British talent available in 2013??

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Posted

I'd put James Mason on a big fat contract and have him work half the matches in disguise under various pseudonyms. Whoever he's in there with he'd drag a decent match out of. Then I'd hire various 80s television celebrities to do segments with. Sorted.

Posted

Dogs.

 

Seriously, dogs. Britain loves the horrible, slobbering, fucking things. And after a couple of years I'd sign a talent sharing deal with Teddy Hart.

Posted

Nobody else gonna answer this then? It would be swell to find out what Britwres people are rated highly cos I genuinely have no idea.

 

As limited as my UK knowledge is, Red Lightning, Sweet Saraya and Mikey Whiplash are three of my favourites in the world so they'd be in.

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Posted

I won't order them but names I've greatly enjoyed watching include Lionheart, Chris Renfrew, Grado, Mikey Whiplash, Jack Jester, Jimmy Havoc and the Bucky Boys.

 

So basically the ICW roster. For my money ICW puts on the best wrestling shows in the world right now, at least in terms of pure entertainment.

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Posted

Commentary will be me, Butch and Gladstone, doing the Gorilla, Piper and Heenan three man announcer team. ShortOrderCook as my world champion. He will then put me over, because its my company and that's just how I run things, I'm afraid. Air_raid as a Lord Tensai-esque pretendy Jap who sprays mist and talks broken English. We'll get a re-animated Gary Hart to manage him. Or a tribute. Whichever is cheaper. Richie Freebird as the 500 Pound Man. He rides to the ring on the horse than won him his fortune. The gimmick will only last one skit where he pays (the real) Virgil all of his 500 quid to tell everyone to get out of the swimming baths. By the time Virgil looks over, everyone has already left because of the sight of a man from Barrow with a dyed blonde mullet dressed in a green shiny suit walking into the leisure centre with an old black man. Maxwell Murder would do a knock off CM Punk. He'd come out to Cult of Personality, but we'd edit it off the DVD and replace it with some stock music like All Star do. He will feud with Vamp who will do the gimmick of Vampiro because when I read his posts I actually imagine him to look like Vampiro in ring gear and face paint typing away. They will have a hair vs hair match where neither will lose their hair. Chilli will be involved in the filming for his wonderful little media venture he's got going on. I'm not letting that money train roll by without getting a seat on it, and I'm not filming this myself. We'll have an nWo like stable called the Mackem World Order with Magnum, NEWM and MOM. Because I need to get involved in all storylines, they will offer me a red and white t-shirt in DDP like fashion I will question why I wasn't an original member. Magnum will simply say "it wasn't time, brother". wwffan2 and WWFE38437843 will sell bootlegs in Classified.

 

And Doug Williams.

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Posted
Air_raid as a Lord Tensai-esque pretendy Jap who sprays mist and talks broken English.

 

Sold.

 

We'll get a re-animated Gary Hart to manage him.

 

Double sold.

 

And Doug Williams.

 

Too right :

 

I've seen Doug Williams wrestle 29 times in the last eight years, more than double any other wrestler. He's been there for any British fed worth seeing that you can name - FWA, IPW:UK, 1PW, PCW - and is the most ubiquitous man in British wrestling. ROH make their British debut? Doug's there. TNA make their British debut? Doug's there. Noah make their British debut? Doug's there.

 

You could have a card with three fat blokes and a pleather clad lad in a Tesco car park, I guarantee Doug's the last match before the raffle.

Posted
He will feud with Vamp who will do the gimmick of Vampiro because when I read his posts I actually imagine him to look like Vampiro in ring gear and face paint typing away. They will have a hair vs hair match where neither will lose their hair.

 

A part of the reason why I use that name here and elsewhere is because its a really obvious sounding wrestling forum name and I was surprised it wasn't taken, and since I'm not a goth in the slightest I think its amusing to have it.

 

There was a point where I was considering using Lamp instead. Not for shitty football reasons.

 

I have been meaning to get a haircut for a couple of weeks actually so I'm willing to take the fall.

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Posted

Bloody hell Ian I'd well watch that as well. SOC and Air_Raid could do the old evil foreigner/national babyface angle. By way of your post that also means I'm somehow in the role of Kevin Dunn (which considering the pictures I've seen I'm not keen on).

 

Surely you forgot to add Houch as Rick Rude and neil in the rarely seen Jack Tunney role :p

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Posted

I like the sound of that Ian. If you have a spot open I am willing to black up, and don the old head dress and carry a spear as a tribute Saba Simba. I could be Jabba Jimba for legal reasons, unless you want to go route one and just call me Saba Simbu UK.

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Posted
Anyone can join in as long as you pay your own bus fare there.

 

That's BritWres all over.

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