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How do you do a wee?


John Matrix

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Fuck me, is that dangerously? Blimey. He's taken that suspension hard hasn't he? He's gone full on Taxi Driver in that picture.

 

On another note, I know we have some unusual toileters on the board so perhaps you can tell me whether it's unreasonable to be freaked out by what just happened.

 

Taking a piss break at work, fella stands next to me at the urinal, hitches his trousers down to just below his hips and proceeds to flow 'no handed'. Honestly, what the fuck? Do people really do that? I must be such an old square using the unzip fly, feed through resulting gap and urinate using a hand to aim method.

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What do you mean "hitch his trousers down just below his hips"? How low were his trousers? Was his ass out?

 

I definitely undo my top button; just feeding through the fly is silly. Either way though, no hands is absurd.

 

Practically. He'd gotten to double bum stage.

 

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What do you mean "hitch his trousers down just below his hips"? How low were his trousers? Was his ass out?

 

I definitely undo my top button; just feeding through the fly is silly. Either way though, no hands is absurd.

 

Practically. He'd gotten to double bum stage.

 

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Like Butters in South Park? My mate does this in nighclubs to get the wind up on people...

1fbj3m.jpg

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What do you mean "hitch his trousers down just below his hips"? How low were his trousers? Was his ass out?

 

I definitely undo my top button; just feeding through the fly is silly. Either way though, no hands is absurd.

 

Not that silly - that's what it's actually there for. Undoing your top button is a bit weird IMO - I mean, unless your penis is SOOO big you can't fit it through a fly. If this is the impression you're going for, I'm not buying Chest ;)

 

But, yeah, trousers down is wrong. Mind you, I think that wearing your trousers so low they are below your arse and therefore are always falling down is wrong, and all the kids seem to do that. They look like right twats - do they know that?

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What do you mean "hitch his trousers down just below his hips"? How low were his trousers? Was his ass out?

 

I definitely undo my top button; just feeding through the fly is silly. Either way though, no hands is absurd.

 

Not that silly - that's what it's actually there for. Undoing your top button is a bit weird IMO - I mean, unless your penis is SOOO big you can't fit it through a fly. If this is the impression you're going for, I'm not buying Chest ;)

 

 

 

You can't just say that as if it's a fact. What have you got to support that? An alternative theory if you will, just to show there can be a coherent theory that runs contrary to your assumption - Undo the top button only for peeing - it gives you enough room to go over the top if you're not too snug on the waist (undo zip as required if you're a bit tubby/wear tight jeans). Undo all the way to give wider maneuverability for taking jeans on and off entirely - extra room is there to move jeans over your hips, not for peeing through the little gap.

 

Also - consider the button fly - much easier to undo if the top button is undone. Also, your method indicates that you go through the flap in the front of your underwear. Now in this case, it is what it is actually designed for. But it's a fucking stupid design and no one should ever use that. You should go over the top.

 

Just peeing through the flap and fly is just unnecesarily constraining yourself. Probably because you're really scared of anyone else seeing your winky because you've got some issues or something.

 

I bet you're that guy who wees in the corner urinal and is leaning to hide his shame so much that you're practically standing side-on, facing the wall.

 

 

 

Gosh, I didn't realise there was so much etiquette involved in taking a piss.

 

I'm just getting started... Loki is clearly the Steve Justice of weeing!

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While we're on the subject, you could help me settle an argument. Three urinals in a row, all vacant. Which one do we take?

 

I drew this comic once, then never posted it anywhere because I realised the same idea's been done a billion times, but you get the general idea.

 

VATE4m8.jpg

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