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SpursRiot2012

Facebook updates that blow your mind

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I think around 90% of status updates in my live feed are severely devoid of correct spelling and/or grammar.

Edited by PunkStep

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Women who post half naked photos of themselves then write status's like this...

 

343t5l3.jpg

 

 

Attention seeking whore

 

Edit... Forgot to edit out my other facebook accounts name.. Feel free to add my Dog...

Edited by Donkey Dick

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Just stumbled across this corker...

 

 

There as been 1 good thing about having kids is tht u no how r ya realy mate r. There only want ya when they need some 1 to have a drink with But when yasay no I cnt go out they dont txt ya again. So alot ov ppl will v toke off my fb to mz some ov use use just used me some ov u just want ti but in. Inabit

 

 

Edit! Astonishingly, someone seemingly understood that, and awarded those sentiments with this seal of approval:

 

That is so true hun i found that out x

Edited by Richie Freebird

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There's a "friend" of mine on facebook who i had to block the other day because i was sick of trying to decipher his status updates.

 

Take this pearl of wisdom for example:

wats al this tripe abowt taylor startin the neet is he crud,wat ppl need to realise is hes abowt 9th choice center half for england n even if it was anly him n sumfucker else fit woy wud probs just hoy carrick in at center hlf,talk abowt just mekin up the numbers!!!

It's shit like this that makes me sympathise with grammer nazis.

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Women who post half naked photos of themselves then write status's like this...

 

343t5l3.jpg

 

 

Attention seeking whore

 

Edit... Forgot to edit out my other facebook accounts name.. Feel free to add my Dog...

 

A) I like how your dog is the giving the advice.

 

And B) I love how she completely misses the point. "if you don't like them don't look at them?" Huh? At wha't point did you complain about her breasts?

 

But yeah, I get pretty strict about removing attention seeking people and the immensely negative. Also it amazes me the amount of people I know who go on to have very open racist / intolerant / homophobic views is surreal.

 

Might have a cull tonight.

Edited by andrew "the ref" coyne

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Women who post half naked photos of themselves then write status's like this...

 

343t5l3.jpg

 

 

Attention seeking whore

 

Edit... Forgot to edit out my other facebook accounts name.. Feel free to add my Dog...

 

You forgot to edit her name out of the URL too. Vicky Macauly will love the UKFF asking for side-on pictures of her tits.

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Pig shit brained country fucker,who admitted to taking steroids that just seemed to make him fatter,was in Garda (Irish police) college with me.The very first thing they told us was to never,ever post pictures of yourself in uniform on Facebook.Of course the first weekend away from the college he had posted pictures of himself in uniform and his obese lady friend up as his profile and cover pics the daft prick.He said that he was fraped,and he insisted on keeping the pictures up til he was fucked out of the college.More happier I could not have been,mainly cos I got a room to myself.

 

He's still keeping his ''I'm a conspiracy victim'' statuses up after around 4 months now,the prick.

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Phantom tags make Baby Jesus cry (unless you're tagging someone as a horse's arse or elephant's ballbag).

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You forgot to edit her name out of the URL too. Vicky Macauly will love the UKFF asking for side-on pictures of her tits.

It's ok, her profile is private. Er so I'm told anyway...

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The most cringe worthy stuff is by far, all the lovey dovey stuff. I'm a very romantic guy - but it doesn't mean I have to do the following sort of stuff:

 

Girl: I have the best, most amazing boyfriend in the world (tag boyfriend's name)

 

Boy: And I have the best girlfriend, love you sweetie. You're so gorgeous.

 

Ugh. Just horrible drivel.

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Even worse when you know they're sitting 6 inches apart on the sofa and have done that just to see responses from everyone else. Facebook really does bring the lowest qualities of most people out, doesn't it?

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