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Devon Malcolm

DVDs and Films You Have Watched Recently 3 - The Final Insult

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Truth Or Dare

I though it was reasonably good but i might have my Lucy Hale rose tinted glasses on. Same old ending though.

I also wanted to shout out JTP during the first half hour.

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The Vanishing - Peter Mullan & Gerard Butler play lighthouse men on a remote Scottish island in the early 1900's. After finding a washed up boat, a body & a chest it all goes a bit awry. Really well acted & tense with refreshingly believable reactions to sudden violence. Think 'A Simple Plan' with more facial hair & cardigans.

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I saw the thumbnail for that and thought it was Zach Galifinakos. 

Crazy Rich Asians is just a massive treat. Manages to walk tired old ground whilst breathing a fresh breath of air in to the rom com. Bound to be a sequel too.

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Escape Plan 2

Didn't know this film existed until i was looking through Netflix. It's not very good and has crap CGI.

Big Dave is in it too collecting the easiest paycheck he'll get. Wasn't in it much but still got second billing in the end credits.

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The Night Eats the World just popped up on Netflix. It's a terrible name for a film, but it's actually a pretty good zombie film, easily one of the best ones of the last decade, although that might not be saying much.

There's also a cat in it.

Anders Danielsen Lie shoots it with a shotgun because it preferred to stay with a zombie than go with him.

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What Van Damme film do you think was better? "Bloodsport" or "Kickboxer"? It's like choosing your fave child. You've got the Stan Bush soundtrack on both of them too, which makes it even harder.

"Kickboxer" has this though..

 

Edited by bAzTNM#1

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Glass - Probably my most anticipated movie ever and Syhamalan fucked it. He went and gikked...scuttered all over his masterpiece, the dozy cunt.
I'm absolutely devastated here. For the guts of twenty years, Unbreakable was my film to go to when I was in a bad place, for whatever reason, but that's gone now because of what that utter shitebag did to his own mythos.

The first half of the movie is absolutely phenomenal though, lads. Special, even. And then he goes and ruins the Shyamalanaissance doing the one thing fans of this 'franchise' really didn't want him to do with the characters, after investing so, so much love into the cunts.

The Beast kills Elijah after Dunn's son reveals it was Elijah who killed The Beasts oullad. The Beast dies after he turns into Kevin for a minute and gets shot. Dunn dies after soldiers drown him in water. Honestly would have taken a Bobby Ewing or a St.Elsewhere ending over that.

 

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If it turns out all three of them have actually been dead this whole time...

I only just saw Split and I thought it was fantastic, really a quality film.  I'm a much bigger fan of Shaymalan than most people, I adored The Village.  He is, when on form, one of the prettiest directors, his films look absolutely stunning and are technically brilliant.

So Split was such a thrill for me after such a string of really terrible films.  So you're breaking my heart here Branquey.

Edited by Loki

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1 hour ago, Loki said:

If it turns out all three of them have actually been dead this whole time...

I only just saw Split and I thought it was fantastic, really a quality film.  I'm a much bigger fan of Shaymalan than most people, I adored The Village.  He is, when on form, one of the prettiest directors, his films look absolutely stunning and are technically brilliant.

So Split was such a thrill for me after such a string of really terrible films.  So you're breaking my heart here Branquey.

It has completley Split the critics (pun intended). Have seen some positive reviews as well as some which echo Branquey.

I re-watched Unbreakable last week after watching Split and I found it good, but not as great as I remember being unfortunately. 

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I warned you all about Shyamalan!

Sorry you didn't like it though, Branquey, I was rooting for this to be great because I know how much you were anticipating it.

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I saw all those awful reviews leak this morning and thought of our dear Branq. I'll probably still go see it, but annoying he cocked it all up after getting us to chub up with Split.

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My poor missus had to put up with me kicking off over the whole debacle when I walked in the door last night after it. The poor woman. She was only about to get into bed and had to deal with a 39 year old man calling a man he's never met, a cunt, a fraud, and a charlatan.

She knew I was going to see a screening of the sequel to the movie where, as she said " you turned into a fuckin' thick and started shaking in your seat as you shook my head from side to side wrecking my fringe?" so she knew the importance of it to me, and you know what she said to me last night? "Aw, my poor bumblebee? Did you at least enjoy the nachos?". My heart was broke after the movie, and that sentence emasculated me. Chopped my mickey clean off. But she meant well.

I'm sure the flick will be very divisive and some people will find it a beautiful movie with the only resolution it could have had (as my mate did), but that's bollocks. There was no need for what he did. It was disrespectful and after me defending that man and his movies for years...YEARS...he can shove his long takes and spinning camera's up his bollocks. And Philadelphia can fuck off and all.

 

Edited by Scott Malbranque

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Shame. I rewatched Split in readiness last night and it's loads of fun so I'm hoping Branque is all Last Jedi about Glass?... Probably not though. 

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Oh, don't you know it? To be fair to him though, it was actually quite a funny scene, but I can't look back on anything in that movie with anything other than contempt at the moment.

I'm genuinely hoping that his big twist is that the screenings were just a wind up and the proper release will be better. That's all I have to cling to at the moment.
 

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