Paid Members Scott Malbranque Posted March 10, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted March 10, 2017 Kong: Skull Island. I enjoyed it and it was a lot of fun and felt like an ‘event’ movie which is always nice. John C.Reilly is as illuminating as ever but things really perplexed and annoyed me in equal measures throughout: I really, REALLY don’t like Tom Hiddleston and his poxy face that every time I look at it I think of a fucking Avicii song. Brie Larson has an unshakeable smug aura of that as somebody who thinks far too highly of herself. When Kong gets amorous how does he relieve himself? He’s a feral, virile male full of rage and testosterone with what must, must be something like the body of an A-380 Airbus clanging around down there, so he has needs. And I noticed on Skull Island there were adjacent, similar hills/mountain peaks, so I deduced that he must straddle them in some way and get something akin to a tit-wank off them. He shoots an ignorant amount of his Yop into the drink, that inseminates an egg or a fish somehow and he spawns one of those things like Rodan from the sea. Have it all sussed, this Monsterverse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted March 10, 2017 Author Paid Members Share Posted March 10, 2017 Yeah, we can definitely add it to the long list of films that Reilly is the best thing in. Hiddleston was crap though, agreed. Good actor but nowhere near enough charisma or presence for a film like this. We're really fucked if he becomes the next Bond. Good fun though, and probably the weirdest Vietnam film of all time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WyattSheepMask Posted March 10, 2017 Share Posted March 10, 2017 Is Hiddlestone still in line for Bond? There seemed to be a shift towards casting Tom Hardy when the time comes, which I can't say I'd particularly like to see Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Scott Malbranque Posted March 10, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted March 10, 2017 I think his courting of Taylor Swift put the brakes on any credibility or goodwill he may have built up for any type of Bond push.Just look at his cunting Golden Globes speech. I genuinely wanted to gnaw through the screen of my telly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members ColinBollocks Posted March 10, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted March 10, 2017 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Sergio Mendacious Posted March 10, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted March 10, 2017 When Kong gets amorous how does he relieve himself? He’s a feral, virile male full of rage and testosterone with what must, must be something like the body of an A-380 Airbus clanging around down there, so he has needs. And I noticed on Skull Island there were adjacent, similar hills/mountain peaks, so I deduced that he must straddle them in some way and get something akin to a tit-wank off them. He shoots an ignorant amount of his Yop into the drink, that inseminates an egg or a fish somehow and he spawns one of those things like Rodan from the sea. Have it all sussed, this Monsterverse.  Are we really just going to pretend like this never happened? You're a great man, Malbranque. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Danger Posted March 10, 2017 Share Posted March 10, 2017 I'd have thought the next Bond would be Fassbender if he wanted but he probably wouldn't offer much different to Craig. Can't see Hardy as Bond and Hiddleston doesn't have the machismo to be a good Bond. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Scott Malbranque Posted March 10, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted March 10, 2017 That Poldark chap seems a good fit. He was oozing all sorts of suave, sexy toughness in that 'And Then There Were None' mini series. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Sergio Mendacious Posted March 10, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted March 10, 2017 Poldark   Thought you meant Idris Elba, on account of his dark pole. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted March 10, 2017 Author Paid Members Share Posted March 10, 2017 I thought I'd already made it clear it's going to be Dan Stevens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Scott Malbranque Posted March 10, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted March 10, 2017 I wouldn't like to see Elba, or his bulge, fill/overspill Bonds pants, Billy. It'd be intimidating and I wouldn't go see it with my wife, because she'd get ideas in her head about having a black man leaving her with a rasher that resembles a garden bucket. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted March 10, 2017 Author Paid Members Share Posted March 10, 2017 I'm going to stop reading your posts when I'm having my tea, I always end up spluttering a gob-full of it all over my laptop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Danger Posted March 11, 2017 Share Posted March 11, 2017 Shame is just Michael Fassbender getting balls deep to ever increasingly depressing music whilst hinting that he either has or wants to bone his sister isn't it. Â Blood Father was good though. Simple premise and Mel Gibson playing the perfect part for him. Thoroughly enjoyable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted March 11, 2017 Author Paid Members Share Posted March 11, 2017 Yeah, I reckon it's one of Mel's best ever, loved it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members bAzTNM#1 Posted March 11, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted March 11, 2017 (edited) That Poldark chap seems a good fit. Â He looks a bit too much like Dalton to me and he's already been done. I'd say give it to Gerard Butler for a left-field choice. He's pushing on a bit at 47 though. Didn't think he was that age. He's around about the age Roger Moore was when he got it in 1973. Â ADDED: Butler's already been in a Bond film. He played "The Leading Seaman" in "Tomorrow Never Dies". Â You can see my house in the really depressing Glasgow film "Dear Frankie" where he's playing "The Handsome Stranger". No name. Kidding on that he's a kid's dad. It says Greenock but most of the film was filmed around here. Rather fucking depressing. Edited March 11, 2017 by bAzTNM#1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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