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Post of the Year 2013


Frankie Crisp

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Don't think this needs an explanation.

 

I'm kicking this off with an absolutely glorious post. Before someone points it out; yes, I know it was posted in 2012 but given that the noms are in lockdown for last year and at the time of posting it, it was 2013 in Azerbaijan or somewhere, it counts in my eyes.

 

I won't post like a tit, so here's the link to NEWM's sublime review of the 2008 Royal Rumble.

 

I barely go up a floor to On-topic but this was a brilliant, brilliant post. Funny as hell in the right places, but absolutely bang on the money with the review of the event itself. Top drawer.

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Heh. On whether to book Jushin Liger or Kelly Kelly :

 

Sticking with Kelly. All the people who really really like Liger are bound to have big Japan fetishes anyway, so you can get them in by booking Kelly against a UK wrestler with the face shape to be a real life anime character.

 

CONTEXT

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From the same thread, NEWM realizes there is a better line than "Japs or flaps" :

 

Bollocks, I've just realised I could have said 'China or Vagina' in the OP.

 

I might just be easily amused.

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I've plenty of mates. Having a disdain for dickheads does not imply I have issues making friends. Rimming up to the big boys and trying to impress people smacks of a need to be loved. I pity you.

 

Since I'm feeling festive, here's my take of the Forum Big Boys and Bandwagon Bummers. The following is fully my own opinion and should not be used as fact or indeed anything else.

 

Forum Big Boys

 

Ian hitman Hart - Autistic knowledge of wrestling, great enthusiasm, good poster.

Keith Houchen - Pornstar, intelligent, mild mannered, good poster.

Butch - Articulate, opinionated, A REAL BLOKE, seemingly a role model/father figure for the Bandwagon Bummers.

Neil - Has the power, says little, does lots.

Sickboy - Twisted head, good writer, good mod.

Gladstone Small - No redeeming qualities for me personally, probably liked for his numerous contributions to all things film.

 

Bandwagon Bummers

 

Chilli Dog - Wishes he was one of the above.

ItsClobberingTime - Wishes he was one of the above.

El Nicko Loco - Wishes he was one of the above.

Up Chuck - Wishes was one of the above.

Air Raid - Wishes he was one of the above.

Punkstep - Wishes he was one of the above.

 

**SPECIAL ATTRACTION **

 

kendal mint cake - Really ace.

 

Kendal is actually quite funny when he puts a bit of effort in. He's also bang on in the majority of his assessments

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He's also bang on in the majority of his assessments

 

Except he isn't. Nicko, Chuck and PunkStep pretty much are solid posters that keep themselves to themselves and chime in with their opinions and certainly don't ever come across as trying to bum anyone, other than occasionally to say "that was a great post", usually when someone (anyone) else has made a great post.

 

He's a fetid little foreskin scab that contributes nothing interesting to the board about wrestling, ever, and has just made a "look at me! look at me!" list of posters describing posters he doesn't like as "bummers" and listing above them the "big boys" they are perceived to bum. The irony of compiling a list of "bummers" and then also naming the "big boys" himself is probably lost on him.

 

He's right about me though. I never contribute anything to On Topic about wrestling worth reading and my sole reason for being here is to make other "LADS" like me.

36482_o.gif

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I heard from Kevin Nash the other day that he's coming back with Scott Hall and they're going to spray "it's shit not poop" on John Cena's back and then they're going to announce that they're bringing the Attitude era back and Vince is going to slap Linda and be all "now go win a fucking election bitch" and then the WWE's going to tell the panda people to suck it and put the 'F' back in and then it's all going to be really original and they'll put all the black people in the Nation of Domination and then they'll start focusing on the young talent by bringing Austin and Foley back and then Phill will stop being held down and will win the WWE title and will be in more main events than anyone else and then everybody in the world will watch wrestling and I'll be really cool and all the women will love me.

 

I loved this. Vamp's on good form.

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