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If the UKFF had been around in....


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Something I've been thinking for a while - might not take off, who knows.

 

I've been wondering for a while what the UKFF would have made of wrestling back in the pre-internet forum days - what they thought of the big events, new wrestlers, the backstage goings-on etc. SO as an experiment I figured why not whizz back in time 20 years and imagine it's December 1992 and the current wrestling scene is the wrestling scene of then. What would your thoughts/comments have been on the scene in December 1992?

 

Just to give a bit of background - WWF was gearing up to the Royal Rumble, headlined by Bret Hart v Razor Ramon, the Steiner Brothers had not long debuted in the company and were set to face the Beverly Brothers, Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty were set to clash, Bam Bam Bigelow has not long returned from Japan and Harvey Wippleman was promising revenge on The Undertaker for nailing Kamala in a coffin at Survivor Series. Plus, Doink the clown had been seen at several events and Monday Night Raw was set to debut at the start of the year from the small Manhattan Centre Ballroom in New York City.

 

Over in WCW, they were gearing up for Starrcade, which was the BattleBowl Lethal Lottery event, Japanese stars The Great Muta and Masahiro Chono were set to clash over the NWA title, Ron Simmons was set to face Ravishing Rick Rude for the WCW title and Shane Douglas and Ricky Steamboat were set to face Barry Windham and Brian Pillman for the tag titles.

 

On the indies, Smoky Mountain Wrestling had started staging cards, run by Jim Cornette, as had Eastern Championship Wrestling by Tod Gordon. British Bulldog Davey Boy Smith was between jobs and worked a few local shows in Florida for the short lived Anvil Promotions, run by Jim Neidhart.

 

CWA ran every day in Germany and Austria and, at the time, featuring wrestlers like Finlay, Dave Taylor, Steve Regal and Cannonball Grizzly and Japan had the uber-hardcore FMW with its fire, barbed wire and exploding death matches, All Japan, with Misawa, Kobashi, Gordy and Williams, and New Japan, with Liger, Hase, Hashimoto etc.

 

Info on the era available from www.thehistoryofwwe.com and database sites like cagematch.net.

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It was certainly an era of transition and was the time period we first got Sky at home, and was able to watch regularly on a weekly basis.

Within the space of a few months, the WWF lost a lot of big name talent such as Mr Perfect, Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan, Ultimate Warrior, Bulldog etc. I think you would have found a healthy mix of those mourning their drawing power (me), and others excited that rising stars such as Razor Ramon, Bret Hart etc, were to be given a chance to shine.

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Here is my bash at what a UKFF post previewing the Rumble might look like :

 

Bret Hart vs Razor Ramon

Why is this jumped-up midcarder getting a shot at the World title? This is a terrible title match and reeks of "they know the PPV will sell from the Rumble itself so lets throw some new shit at the wall and see if it sticks." Having said that, as good as Bret/Shawn was at Survivors it felt a bit like they got the card mixed up and let the IC match go on last again. Bret will never feel like a real champion if they keep feeding him nobodies (Papa Shango WTF) or talented workers that arent main event names yet like Shawn. I think Macho Man needs to take the belt back if it's true Flair is leaving, or else they'll wait til Vince forgives Warrior and brings him back again. Bret will win convincingly.

 

Steiner Brothers vs Beverly Brothers

What a waste of time this will be. You've just signed the best tag team in the world. Don't fanny around with these losers, put the belts on them and never look back. DiBiase and Irwin were thrown together to get the belts off LOD, why are they still champions?? Actually Vince should just go get himself the LOD back and they might have a tag team title match worth watching for a change.

 

Shawn Michaels vs Marty Jannetty

Well, this has been a long time coming and we all know why (sniff sniff eh Marty). Basically the classic wrestling storytelling means Marty will take the belt from his dickhead former partner, the only question is if they do it here or wait til Mania. They seem on a bit of a "too much too soon" run at the moment (Bret as champion, Razor getting a title match) so I think the former. Marty takes it so Shawn can move to main event full time like Bret. They seem to want the better wrestlers at the top and thats been Shawn since he started wrestling Bret last spring. Anything other than a Jannetty win pisses on the fans and makes Marty look a chump. Oh, I don't care whose corner Sherri is in, as long as it's nearest the camera, fap fap fap. I bet she has a lovely big bush to go with those lovely big jugs.

 

Big Boss Man vs Bam Bam Bigelow

Tough one to call. Boss Man is on a role and never jobs in singles on PPV, and if he were in the Rumble, he'd win it. But then. Triple B is the bomb since he dropped that cartwheel shit, got serious and went to Japan and came back mills better than before. Japan makes you better, always. Plus Bammer paid some serious dues getting his skull inked. I'd almost not decided who would win but then I remembered Bosom Man's deal is coming up, so he'll do the JOB to BBB on the PPV.

 

RRRRRRUMBLE

Well, Undertaker won't win will he. Harvey has a surprise for Taker. Based on the fact Undertaker just finished with Kamala (WTF) then his surprise is probably going to be King Kong Bundy, One Man Gang or someone of that ilk. I might even have been tempted to say Andre but by all accounts he isn't too sprightly these days. Crush has been booked quite strongly lately but they're shaping Mania with this one, and I think they'll go one of two ways. If they're serious about going with the better wrestlers, Perfect has recaptured everyone's attention with his comeback and a Hart/Perfect main event would fit the bill nicely for wrestling. On the other hand, you have to draw on PPV so the most "main event" match they have on paper would be Hitman v Macho Man, two out of the last four men to hold the belt and it seems they'll have neither The Hulkster or Flair around for Mania this time. Fuck em, I say. Hogan can't work and never could, and if Flair wants to go back down south, he's admitting he's past it. Of course, they could throw us a curveball. My dark horse is Tatanka, they've pushed this undefeated gimmick a lot, we'd be idiots to think it won't go somewhere. Still, considering what should go on top of Mania.... going with Macho Man.

 

As for Starrcade

It's all so indy isn't it? Veritable smorgasborg of "has beens" and "never wills". Some lads the WWF passed on or let go will have some good matches, but no one will care. No one cares about Japan either. The only thing that anyone will care about is who keeps the belt warm for Flair, which surely to God will be Rude. Actually he's looked damn good for months now and probably still has some name value, he'd probably be a good shout for a WWF comeback if he hadn't left in acrimonious circumstances. But yeah.... WcW. They try hard and do have some great matches, but they'll always be too small-time Southern rasslin to be anything other than distant number 2.

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I'd be looking for Mr Perfect to win the Rumble to meet Ramon later and have Hitman enter the fray between Michaels/Janetty siding with Janetty possibly to form a new tag team. Michaels could certainly main event and I think he should have feud with Macho Man following his heel turn. But the product is still not as good as it was a few years back. ;)

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I'd be insisting that there was mileage left in Hulk Hogan as a wrestler and you'd all be telling me to fuck off and that King Of The Indies Kerry Von Erich was the future of wrestling.

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Nah, because Kerry Von Erich would have only just left the WWF. King of the indies probably would have been, erm... fuck knows. Tommy Cairo?

 

Wait, 1992? Chris Candido? Al Snow? Sabu? Jerry Lynn? Lightning Kid? Who would have been the star of the indies then?

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