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The THIRD UKFF Celebrity Twatlist: WINNER REVEALED!


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seph can naff off as well. I'll take a stab at 'Daily Buzzard' voting for Laurie Penny.

 

Unless they're turning him heel eventually I stand by my words. Having him the face of Breast Cancer Month? fair enough, it's a great campaign and he's the highest-profile face. But he's still being given a higher profile than both the Champ and the second-place babyface who hasn't even had 1/10th of the push in the last year that Cena has. While not actually competing except for shoving Dolph Ziggler on his ass, which tells the world he won't take from an actual competitor what he "has to" take from Vickie Guerrero who - the very least that's wrong with this - Cena and others have ritually humiliated enough anyway.

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seph can naff off as well. I'll take a stab at 'Daily Buzzard' voting for Laurie Penny.

 

Unless they're turning him heel eventually I stand by my words. Having him the face of Breast Cancer Month? fair enough, it's a great campaign and he's the highest-profile face. But he's still being given a higher profile than both the Champ and the second-place babyface who hasn't even had 1/10th of the push in the last year that Cena has. While not actually competing except for shoving Dolph Ziggler on his ass, which tells the world he won't take from an actual competitor what he "has to" take from Vickie Guerrero who - the very least that's wrong with this - Cena and others have ritually humiliated enough anyway.

 

You're talking about what he's scripted to do by WWE. None of this makes the man a twat, in fact his tireless charity work coupled with a work ethic that puts near everyone else in the business to shame makes me think he's a great guy.

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seph can naff off as well. I'll take a stab at 'Daily Buzzard' voting for Laurie Penny.

 

Unless they're turning him heel eventually I stand by my words. Having him the face of Breast Cancer Month? fair enough, it's a great campaign and he's the highest-profile face. But he's still being given a higher profile than both the Champ and the second-place babyface who hasn't even had 1/10th of the push in the last year that Cena has. While not actually competing except for shoving Dolph Ziggler on his ass, which tells the world he won't take from an actual competitor what he "has to" take from Vickie Guerrero who - the very least that's wrong with this - Cena and others have ritually humiliated enough anyway.

 

It's still real to you dammit?

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seph can naff off as well. I'll take a stab at 'Daily Buzzard' voting for Laurie Penny.

 

Unless they're turning him heel eventually I stand by my words. Having him the face of Breast Cancer Month? fair enough, it's a great campaign and he's the highest-profile face. But he's still being given a higher profile than both the Champ and the second-place babyface who hasn't even had 1/10th of the push in the last year that Cena has. While not actually competing except for shoving Dolph Ziggler on his ass, which tells the world he won't take from an actual competitor what he "has to" take from Vickie Guerrero who - the very least that's wrong with this - Cena and others have ritually humiliated enough anyway.

 

You're talking about what he's scripted to do by WWE. None of this makes the man a twat, in fact his tireless charity work coupled with a work ethic that puts near everyone else in the business to shame makes me think he's a great guy.

 

"He does what he's told do, and it's not his fault everyone else sucks" isn't a compelling argument. And isn't most of his charity work done with WWE's endorsed programmes rather than personal causes? Or am I missing a huge part of the picture, not for the first time?

 

Finally, name the last person not called Johnson who looked notably stronger for 12 months coming out of a Cena programme, and if you solely blame the booking I'll assume Cena has very little say in who gets over with him and withdraw my argument on that basis.

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seph can naff off as well. I'll take a stab at 'Daily Buzzard' voting for Laurie Penny.

 

Unless they're turning him heel eventually I stand by my words. Having him the face of Breast Cancer Month? fair enough, it's a great campaign and he's the highest-profile face. But he's still being given a higher profile than both the Champ and the second-place babyface who hasn't even had 1/10th of the push in the last year that Cena has. While not actually competing except for shoving Dolph Ziggler on his ass, which tells the world he won't take from an actual competitor what he "has to" take from Vickie Guerrero who - the very least that's wrong with this - Cena and others have ritually humiliated enough anyway.

 

You're talking about what he's scripted to do by WWE. None of this makes the man a twat, in fact his tireless charity work coupled with a work ethic that puts near everyone else in the business to shame makes me think he's a great guy.

 

"He does what he's told do, and it's not his fault everyone else sucks" isn't a compelling argument. And isn't most of his charity work done with WWE's endorsed programmes rather than personal causes? Or am I missing a huge part of the picture, not for the first time?

 

Finally, name the last person not called Johnson who looked notably stronger for 12 months coming out of a Cena programme, and if you solely blame the booking I'll assume Cena has very little say in who gets over with him and withdraw my argument on that basis.

 

No, no, let's turn that around. You give me a non wrestling based reason for Cena being a twat and I'll rescind my comment.

 

The charity work is for make a wish, it's in association with WWE but they are not a WWE programme. He spends a huge amount of his personal time bringing joy to kids with terminal conditions, more that would ever be considered the mandatory if such a thing existed.

 

It's not 2008 any more, this Cena sucks nonsense doesn't fly now. He constantly delivers on PPV, he's great on the mic, he's an ambassador for his company and the sport. You tell me who else should have been in his spot for the last 6 years.

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Whilst I highly agree that Cena isn't a twat, I think it should be noted that some people simply don't like his gimmick, this has nowt to do with any of Seph's mongy posts really but I do think the whole 'Cena works hard, you have to like him' thing is bollocks, most of his promo's are cringeworthy as fuck, matches (especially PPV) are always good but his 'funny' promos just get fast forwarded now

 

Also other than that knobhead 'five grand' bit in his book, Ashley Cole has never done anything to annoy me, he married a horrendous yet fit racist which I've always worked out as, shagged her because she's fit but cheated on her because she's horrendous, every credit to him

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Whilst I highly agree that Cena isn't a twat, I think it should be noted that some people simply don't like his gimmick, this has nowt to do with any of Seph's mongy posts really but I do think the whole 'Cena works hard, you have to like him' thing is bollocks, most of his promo's are cringeworthy as fuck, matches (especially PPV) are always good but his 'funny' promos just get fast forwarded now

 

You're right, his character isn't going to be everyone's cup of tea but that definitely doesn't make him a twat. Seph's post is akin to someone calling Steve McFadden a twat because he plays one on Eastenders (he might well be for all I know of course, just using him as an example).

 

I agree totally that when he tries to be funny it's usually terrible, but then again HHH was guilty of that too when he was on top. When it counts though, he's one of the best in the business on the stick. You look at his recent stuff with Punk and his work with The Rock pre-Wrestlemania as proof positive of that.

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Dear everybody,

 

Please shut up about John Cena. Please. It doesn't take Jamie Redknapp to tell you that literally nobody cares.

 

I apologise profusely to anybody who had been enjoying the thread up to this point. I regret mentioning John Cena, and I know now that I should have buried his name in a bigger list so nobody noticed. It annoys me that, nearly twenty full write-ups and well over 50 didn't-make-it twats in, John fucking Cena has garnered more discussion than practically all of them put together.

 

Whoever you were, thread-enjoyers, I hope you haven't abandoned it yet or become concussed from banging your head against a brick wall repeatedly. I will resume the countdown ASAP in a vain attempt to distract people from talking about John Cena.

 

Thank you.

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8 posts out of over 300, and barring Seph chiming in again it's done now so calm down Harm. Everyone loves your twat list and appreciates the effort but don't get so precious because it's sparked a discussion you can't be arsed with.

 

Apologies. Precious, yes, sorry about that. But to paraphrase NEWM, it was a bit shite.

 

Entry number 12 on its way very shortly. It'll light up your world like nobody else.

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8 posts out of over 300, and barring Seph chiming in again it's done now so calm down Harm. Everyone loves your twat list and appreciates the effort but don't get so precious because it's sparked a discussion you can't be arsed with.

 

Apologies. Precious, yes, sorry about that. But to paraphrase NEWM, it was a bit shite.

 

Entry number 12 on its way very shortly. It'll light up your world like nobody else.

 

Most of my list hasn't appeared yet, so I await with baited breath :)

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Now. Where were we?

 

 

 

 

DISCLAIMER: All views and opinions within the Twatlist are just that; views and opinions. No views within the Twatlist are my own. I love everybody. Especially celebrities :love:

 

 

 

 

12

One Direction (particularly Harry Styles)

(New entry)

 

 

Od008.jpg

 

 

What're they famous for?

Music, inciting hysteria in young girls and cougars.

 

 

And you think they're twats because...

I will note first that I combined the votes for One Direction as a group, and Harry Styles as an individual, because while Styles was the only individual from the group to receive votes, a vote for Styles is essentially a vote for One Direction. Same sort of deal as with The Mighty Boosh and Noel Fielding in 2009.

 

With that said, they're all twats, according to you lot. Why?

 

Dingbat (voted the band #8) believes that "a bunch of pretty faces does not a group make. Like if Bieber split himself into every demographic available. They make my list for the added bonus that I went to school with one of them – incidentally, the one who can’t sing." It should be pointed out that Dingbat does not mention which one 'the one who can't sing' is. Answers on a One Direction branded postcard, please.

 

"They scare me," admits Chilli_Mondeo (voted the band #6). "When they wear suits with those stupid fucking trendy bowties, they look like a gang of ventriloquist dummies come to life. Unnerving." Snake Plissken (voted the band #10) also has a confession: "I don't know their names indivdually other than Harry, but," he continues, "they all need shooting."

 

Ah, Harry Styles. The sole target for some of you. Why?

 

Says Magnum (voted Styles #4): "He's like a police photofit made up of all the most punchable qualities in a face. Amazing that adult women seem to see something in this curly-mopped foetus." Dr.PeterVenkman (voted Styles #2) reckons Harry "seems to have some spell over every woman on the planet... I could understand if the media portrayed [him] as some 'every woman wants to mother him' teen idol but they make out he's some fabulous fucking hunk, even though he's got a pathetically weedy body and a haircut that would have got him a good hiding at our school 15 years ago."

 

But there are other motivations behind Styles' nominations. There certainly were for PSF (voted Styles #8), who cast his vote Harry's way "purely because a very average looking lad with [the] dodgiest hair on the planet is suddenly a sex idol, meaning that [his look] is now the look women like Caroline Flack [NB: who, according to the Daily Mail and other tabloids, had a brief dalliance with Styles] are looking for, and [that] a bald twat like me could never achieve. Fair play to the twat though. Lucky twat!" El Nicko Loco (voted Styles #7), meanwhile, may win the prize for most ostensibly positive rant of the year. Nicko thinks Styles is "a beautful, handsome, hip, womanizing, boozing, incredibly jammy twat. Nominated by me mainly because I'm extremely jealous of him and would trade places with him at the drop of a hat. Even if it meant having a go on Caroline Flack. Older woman love him. I fucking love him. And for that reason, he's a twat."

 

I've got one of their songs in my head now. Damn.

 

 

Twat Tweets!

I assume they all tweet, but I'm not looking, sorry. Just check the UK trending topics at any given time and it's likely that at least three of them will involve One Direction in some shape or form... In fact, Callum1993 (voted the band #7) explains that he voted "purely because of their fans on Twitter. They take up the entire trending list with pointless topics and instead, important news gets ignored. Pisses me off."

 

 

And we're obliged to ask... do they have shit on the market?

Yes! Yes! Yes! Christmas is coming!

 

There's CDs:

one_direction_album_cover_1407072.jpg

 

Calendars:

one-direction-calendar-2013.jpg

 

The pencil case with stationery kit:

one-direction-filled-pencil-case-2283-p.jpg

 

Pyjamas:

one-direction-pjf-12.jpg

 

Annuals (with a FREE WRISTBAND):

2156.jpg

 

Hot water bottle covers:

one-direction-kids-duvet-cover-set|A254P_SP253_02_25UWFf.jpg

 

Bedcovers:

lens19096122_225e05bc786f020ae54504be854436b0.jpg

 

Birthday cards:

one-direction-daughter-birthday-card-24773-p[ekm]233x349[ekm].jpg

 

Temporary tattoos:

TP0053.jpg

 

And those are all just from the first page of results. THE FIRST PAGE.

 

 

Twat Stat!

Without the combining of votes, at one stage, both the group and Styles individually were on course to make the top 30 as separate entries!

 

 

Were they voted Top Twat?

Neither the group nor Harry were, no.

 

 

And so to summarise, One Direction (and particularly Harry Styles) are worse than:

Debt.

Edited by HarmonicGenerator
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