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Present the shittest mainstream card imaginable


tiger_rick

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Going to use real matches, but I'll have to edit in the Youtube links later, as my Net is slowed at the moment due to Mum not paying the bill :angry:

 

WWE Shitstorm 2012- sponsored by fruity, fruity Skittles!

 

Main event: Brock Lesnar vs Bill Goldberg (Special Ref: Stone Cold Steve Austin) - Wrestlemania 20

 

Two of the greatest big man monsters in WWE history going at it, with the biggest star in WWE history as the special ref. All the ingredients of a classic, but thanks to the external factors, it sucked a massive wang.

 

Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzales- Wrestlemania IX

 

Undertaker's worst Wrestlemania match, a far cry from the recent classics defining his streak. Plus a freakish dude in a freakier bodysuit. A pseudo-naked guy is meant to be somehow intimidating?

 

WCW Championship- Booker T vs Buff Bagwell- Raw is War 2001

 

The only WWF appearance of Buff, and the match that apparently made Vince nix the idea of running WCW as a separate company. Thanks for the shit that was the Invasion. :sneaky:

 

Ladder match- Rob Van Dam vs. Sabu- ECW on Sci Fi

 

Really shite, in a perverse entertaining car crash kind of way, and it was heavily edited just to make TV.

 

Stretcher Match: Andre the Giant vs. Killer Khan

 

This was an extra on the Judgment Day 2003 DVD, and is a complete insomnia cure. No commentary, slow and plodding as fuck, and seems to go for hours.

 

The Boogeyman vs JBL- Royal Rumble 2006

 

The Wrestling God loses in a minute, there's worms, and Jillian's weird mole/growth thing. What's to love?

 

Stevie Richards (as a woman) vs. Tyson Tomko- Unforgiven 2005

 

Just horrible... and way too long. Stevie also fills the Divas quotient for this card.

 

'Rosie O'Donnell' vs 'Donald Trump'- Raw 2007

 

A match that managed to inspire loud and raucous 'TNA chants.

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Right had to bend the rules a little bit.......But here is the

 

Stormy Weathers' bad taste rasslin' shitfest

 

 

Good Ol' JR's One legged ass kicking contest

 

Zach Gowen VS Kamala

 

 

Hep C superinfection Deathmatch

 

Abdullah the Butcher vs XPac

 

 

Dentures on a pole match

 

Balls Mahoney vs Bation Booger

 

 

Loser leaves town match

 

Mass transit vs Mike Levy

 

 

Domestic abuse match

 

Ric Flair vs Sunny

 

 

Bra and Panties mud wrestling match

 

Vince McMahon VS Nailz

 

 

Shower room soap on a rope match

 

JBL vs Brian Christopher

 

 

Weapons match

 

Arn Anderson Vs Sid

 

 

Bonus DVD extra

Handicap match

 

Chris Benoit vs Daniel and Nancy (too far? :confused:)

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Right had to bend the rules a little bit.......But here is the

 

Stormy Weathers' bad taste rasslin' shitfest

 

 

Good Ol' JR's One legged ass kicking contest

 

Zach Gowen VS Kamala

 

 

Hep C superinfection Deathmatch

 

Abdullah the Butcher vs XPac

 

 

Dentures on a pole match

 

Balls Mahoney vs Bation Booger

 

 

Loser leaves town match

 

Mass transit vs Mike Levy

 

 

Domestic abuse match

 

Ric Flair vs Sunny

 

 

Bra and Panties mud wrestling match

 

Vince McMahon VS Nailz

 

 

Shower room soap on a rope match

 

JBL vs Brian Christopher

 

 

Weapons match

 

Arn Anderson Vs Sid

 

 

Bonus DVD extra

Handicap match

 

Chris Benoit vs Daniel and Nancy (too far? :confused:)

This looks amazing, not terrible!

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1. "I Quit" Match:

Conquistador #1 vs Conquistador #2

 

2. Punjabi Prison Match:

Super Porky vs Mini Vader

 

3. Blindfold Match:

Jean-Pierre LaFitte vs Zach Gowen

 

4. Ten-Man Elimination Tag Team:

The Headbangers, Tyson Tomko, Bull Buchanan and Damien Demento vs Ron & Don Harris, Gymini and Duane Gill

 

5. World Of Sport rules:

Glacier vs Kurrgan

 

6. Three Stages of Hell:

Golga vs Max Moon

 

7. Divas Battle Royal featuring:

Alicia Fox

Alundra Blayze

Amy Weber

Anastacia

Ariel

Ashley Massaro

BB

Bertha Faye

Beth Phoenix

Brie Bella

Brooke Adams

Bull Nakano

Candice Michelle

Carmella DeCesare

Caryn Mower-Muffy

Cherry

Chyna

Christy Hemme

Dawn Marie

Debra

Eve Torres

Evelyn Stevens

Fabulous Moolah

Gail Kim

Hervina

Ivory

Jackie Gayda

Jacquelyn

Jazz

Jillian Hall

Joy Giovanni

Katie Lea

Kelly Kelly

Krissy Vaine

Kristal

Layla El

Lauren Jones

Leilani Kai

Lena Yada

Lillian Garcia

Lita

Luna Vachon

Mae Young

Maria Kanellis

Marianna Komlos

Maryse

Melina Perez

Michelle McCool

Mickie James

Miss Kitty

Mrs. Cleavage

Mrs. Yamaguchi

Molly Holly

Natalya Neidhart

Nicole Bass

Nidia

Nikki Bella

Rebecca

Rochelle Loewen

Rockin' Robin

Ryan Shamrock

Sable

Sara Calloway

Sharmell Huffman

Stacey Keibler

Starla Saxton

Sunny

Terri Runnels

Tiffany

Tori

Torrie Wilson

Trish Stratus

Velvet McIntyre

Victoria

Wendi Richter

 

8. Iron Man Match:

Dennis Stamp vs Manu

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Hmm

 

1. 60 Minutes Iron Women Match

Jackie Gayda vs Rosa Mendes

 

 

2. Can Only Finish With a Successful Top Rope Move Match (with Trampolines)

 

Greg The Hammer Valentine vs Sin Cara - Special Ref Dennis Stamp

 

 

3. Where the Gimmicks go Wrong 4 Way

 

The Shockmaster vs Modrecai vs The Final Solution vs Daivari

 

 

4. Chamber of Horror Match

 

A recreation of the Halloween Havoc match with wrestlers as they are today

 

 

5. Conquistador Battle Royale

 

Everyone who has been a Conquistador in a match to find out who is the best of all time, all in the Conquistador get up

 

 

6. The Pipers Pit with Jake Roberts, Scott Hall and Xpac- who can get mashed first, tune in to find out!

 

 

7. Scaffold Match

 

New Jack vs Mae Young

 

 

8. World Championship Championship Empty Arena Barbed Wire Exploding Match

 

Santino vs Jinder Mahal

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Time Bomb Double Hell Landmine Barbed Wire

Ultimate Warrior vs. New Jack

 

'Chin Yourself' Contest

Tony Atlas vs. Nailz

 

Reverse Battle Royal

Sleazy, Queazy & Cheezy, Wink, Pink & Stink

 

USWA Gimmick Battle Royal

 

Touch The Truck

Dick Togo vs. George The Animal Steele

 

Kick Fuck Out Of A Vending Machine Gauntlet

Powers of Pain, Demolition, Wifebeater & Zandig, American Males, Heidenreich & Snitsky, X Factor & The Fabulous Freebirds

 

All Holds Barred

Zeus vs. PN News

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WWE Championship Nerve Hold Submission Match (The only way to win is to force your opponent to submit to a shoulder-claw 'nerve hold')

King Mabel vs. Yokozuna

 

Giant Gonzales vs. The Great Khali

 

Thriple Threat Screeching Contest:

Vickie Guerrero vs. Ariel vs. Mike Tenay

 

Hardcore Match

Abyss vs. Ric Flair (2012)

 

Kenzo Suzuki vs. Chris Daniels

 

Jackie Gayda vs. Ashley Massaro

 

Eli Cottonwood vs. Kurrgan

 

Mideon vs. Highlander Rory

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1PW Presents "WE WILL NOT DIE 2012"

Doncaster Dome

 

MAIN EVENT

8 Tins of Tuna on a Pole Match

Rob Terry Vs. Mason Ryan

 

Father Vs. Son Tuxedo Inferno Match

Earl Hebner Vs. Brian Hebner

 

Ladder Match - winner get's to keep the John name

John Cena Vs. John Morrison Vs. John Stud Vs. John Kronus Vs. John Laurinaitis Vs. John Coachman

 

Best 2 out of 3 Falls

Claire Lynch Vs. Karen Angle

 

Empty Arena Match

Mark Haskins Vs. The Big Show

 

Handicap Match

The Great Khali & Big Daddy V Vs. Matt Striker

 

Mother Vs. Father Casket Match

Mae Young Vs. Mark Henry

Special Guest Casket Dude - The Hand

 

Ultimate-X Match

Diesel Vs. Kevin Nash Vs. Oz Vs. Vinnie Vegas Vs. Master Blaster

 

***NONE OF THE TALENT GOT PAID***

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Double Entendre On A Pole Match

The Dicks vs The Johnsons

 

60 Minute Iron Man Match

The Great Antonio vs Big Daddy

Shakespeare Shootout

Scott Steiner vs Ahmed Johnson

 

Rainbow Flag Match.

Pat Patterson vs Steve Lombardi

 

Nepotism Battle Royal featuring...

Erik Watts, Greg Gagne, Brian Christopher, David Flair, Reid Flair, Horace Hogan, Mike Von Erich, David Sammartino & Carlito.

 

 

Most Racist Gimmick Challenge

Mr Fuji vs Saba Simba vs Kamala vs Jay Strongbow

 

12 Steps of Sobriety Match.

Jake Roberts vs "last call" Scott Hall.

 

Maffew's First Account Memorial Trophy

Raja Lion vs Giant Gonzalez vs Sabu vs Mongo

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Loser Must Retire

The Ultimate Warrior vs. Teddy Hart

 

Rehab Contract On A Pole Match (Loser Goes To Jail)

Scott Hall vs. Matt Hardy w/ Special Enforcer Doug Dillinger

 

The Harris Brothers vs. The Basham Brothers

 

Submission Match

Jinder Mahal vs. The Iron Shiek

 

Ezekiel Jackson vs. Zeus

 

Grudge Match - 2/3 Falls

Chavo Guerrero vs. Hornswoggle

The final chapter of this epic feud.

 

Hair vs. Mask

The Ringmaster vs. Repo Man

 

Zach Gowen vs. Kamala

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