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Who's an arsehole in real life?


IANdrewDiceClay

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So many of these stories need expanding on.

 

Timmy Mallett wasn't so much an arsehole, but a total pervert.

 

Let's hear it.

 

We had a skit lined up on stage, where he did his shtick, and two lasses who worked there came out and basically ran around stage. He, in his infinite wisdom decided last minute they should ditch the t-shirts and run around in their bras. Mixed with some other creepy like comments before he went out on stage, it got rather weird rather quickly. The two lasses did decide to go on stage in their bras though...to this day, I don't know why and neither do they.

 

Irresistible sexual charisma... pheromones like a horny gibbon. Mallett has it, Jimmy Saville had it, and "Woooh!" Gary Davies has it.

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I have a Timmy Mallett is a perv story too, a met him a few years at some student night, my friend and I being huge Wackaday fans as kids asked him for his autograph and he said yes but only if he could sign our breasts

 

:laugh: I've never heard of that as a request that comes from the person doing the signing before.

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It was all a try on, the first time. He was just thinking with his mallett. But then... somehow... it worked. And now he's thinking, "tits on tap, Timmy, tits on tap." It's a dirty spiral, boys, a dirty spiral for Mallett. Tit signing is just the start. His handlers, Timmy's Team (he's big on alliteration is Mallett) won't be able to cover it up forever, some girls just won't take the hush money for Mallett's post fresher's ball tit spunkathons.

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I dunno... I think we need an answer. Deathrey - did either you or your mate let the sleazy old man write his name in pen upon your bosom?

 

I'm going to bet against Burch and say no.. at least for you, from what I know about you from your posting on here. Dunno about your mate. Please confirm if my faith in your upstanding decency is well placed.

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Adam Bomb/Wrath/Brian Cock.. is a cock.

 

As was Paul Scholes (the younger years). He was playing a charity match (man.u vs Bishop Auckland), anyway, he was playing and after the game a bunch of roughly 9-10 kids ran over and asked him for his sig on their shirts and footies, which he did with no problem.

I was the last kid to ask him, he said No.

 

I couldnt fucking believe it and called him a ginger bastard and then cried. I told my dad and he said, "dont worry, theres gary pallister".

 

Good old dad.

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I've heard several people saying what a massive cock Nicholas Parsons is. He did a show at the Edinburgh Fringe a few years ago & managed to insult/annoy anyone who seemingly had any interraction with him whatsoever.

 

Paul Daniels is meant to be a nastly little twat

Jasper Carrot - cock

Will Young performed at a charity ball for my old work. Coked off his face & kicked off at my mate (the marketing manager who had to ensure he was looked after) for them getting the wrong brand of bottled water.

Someone I know was doing the in-studio warm up for Sarah Millican's new show. Louis Spence was one of the guests on the episode he worked on & he said that he was a complete bell-end. His schtick is turned on constantly & he was just a royal pain in the arse.

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