Jump to content

UKFF Battle Rap 2012: Semi Finals


Recommended Posts

  • Paid Members

The rules:


1. Each rap must consist of 16 lines. No more, no less.


2. Maximum of two raps each.


3. You have until 3:00pm on Saturday 3rd March to post. If you post nothing by the deadline, you're out.


4. Voting will commence after the rapping deadline in the form of replies in this thread. The cut-off point for votes will be 10:00pm on Wednesday 7th March. Rappers cannot vote in either round.


Edit: In a surprise twist, both rappers have fulfilled the maximum requirements with nearly a week to go, so voting may as well begin.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Paid Members

Sorry Mr. James, your chance to win this just expired,

You're drawn against the one-man battlerap empire!

I make this game look like a new form of art,

Your head is the bullseye, my foot is the dart.


Good arrows? No, not for you.

I'm going Hollywood, you're going Gonzo with Kookoocachu.

Big time pornstar? More like a prostitute with credits.

I can't even read one of your posts without needing a shot for Tetanus.

You're nothing more than a long haired impersonator,

With so many crabs you'll need to call an exterminator.

I've got six more lines to put you on the deck,

Easy done, I'm gravity, you're Dion Dublin's neck!


There's no test you can pass to be allowed near me, Dartbreak.

I'm going to quarantine your cock to stop a Gonorrhea outbreak.

I'm so close to the trophy I can taste it.

I shook up the world, I've gotta be the greatest!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's the final next, Cleet, but don't make any plans

Your chances of getting through are thinner than Bobby Sands

You might feel optimistic but that buzz will soon pass

You're getting sunk quicker than you mums morning Buckfast


Just like Rangers Football Club, I'm making you insolvent

This is your worst butt fucking since you cane out of Polmont

I bet in there you were the Prison snitch

You're Craig Whyte, I'm Roman Abramovic


Try to battle me? Come on, don't take the Mick, son

I score more times than you hero, Kerry Dixon

If Matrix were here, he'd laugh too at you acting hard

Your effort was as lazy as Winston Fucking Bogarde


After the vote you're going to be a gonner

You only appeal to the fappers, like Ring Of Honor

I'm the Vince McMahon of this shit, you're a fucking Britwres carny

Now get me my beer and make me a bacon sarnie.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Paid Members

I've never done time and my bumhole's still in tact,

If you have any respect you better apologise and retract.

Refuse, then shit's gonna have to get real bro,

I wear custom made Boss, you steal knockoff Umbro.


I ain't no snitch, but I will tell you this,

Your bird calls me Muta, 'cause she likes getting sprayed with my mist.

Asking me to fetch your lunch? You must be pissed,

I'll bring you your bacon, but you better leave room for my fist!


I used to like you Houchen, 'til i found out you played the Elder Scrolls.

While I'm out running the streets, you're going on quests to suck off trolls.

"I wonder if there's a spell to make that wizard pull his pants down?"

No doubt I'm heading to the final. I'm the baddest on this forum, hands down.


I'm no Anorexic soldier or a football club out of dime,

Vince Mcmahon? You're lucky if you're even Feinstein.

I won't bother with the cracks about my ma, that record's long broken,

World Rapping Champion 2012, I HAVE SPOKEN!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

No wonder you got voted "Think you're funny but you're not"

You're more unappealing than Chyna's latest grot

I'm cooler than a Stratocaster, you're a fucking theramin

You're clearly off your box on your deep fried heroin


Your attempts at a put down are getting very weary

The only mist you spit is on Velocity as Tajiri

I'm the main event, you're lucky to get a dark match

I get the prime pussy, you don't even get a Granny snatch


Do you still bother with On Topic, with cack about Raw?

At two on Monday morning I make a clunge sore

You're about as valid as Duane, to you I must be a Mason

Or another female wrestler who is stalked by Freaky Jason


You think you're a lyrical master? You must be on meds

The only way you'd get published is like Woyzeck or Two Sheds

Only you care about your output, you're wasting your time

Face it, Cleets old boy, this crown can be only mine.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...