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If I Were a Kid Today


simonworden

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I was thinking the other night on the way home about the differences between how I view wrestling now and how I did 12 years ago when I really got into it as a 13 -14 year old. Back then I was intrigued by all the wrestlers, where they had come from what they were going to do. Who was going to win at the PPV. I of course knew it was scripted but I didn't until 2002 when I became more acquainted with regular internet usage really start to understand pushes/ booking. Some of my viewpoints I remember to explain how my mind worked back in the day were

 

at King of the Ring 2000 - Kane would win the WWF title in the 6 man tag team match. No logic I just liked him the most

 

Kurt Angle was undeserving to be WWF Champion and was a complete joke in 2000 - 2001.

 

Haku and Rikishi should have been in the TLC match at WM17 (actually I didnt think this but it was certainly discussed at school)

 

And other thing such as the outcome of the Armageddon Hell in a Cell. Ridiculous theorys on the Stone Cold Whodunnit Storyline, Invasion etc.

 

My Question is basically if you had just got into wrestling now if you were between say 10 and 15 (choose whatever age you want) who would you like/ who would you hate/ who would you support in upcoming matches and think is going to win/ what Diva would give you sticky bedsheets/ what would want more of / what would you want less of?

 

There is no point people coming in here and saying all the usual stuff of, I wouldn't have liked it if it was like this now etc what Im after is people thinking back to there attitudes as a kid and how it would be with todays pack

 

For me I always preferred masked men as a kid so I think Mysterio, Sin Cara and Kane would be high on my list of favourites. Wade Barrett being english would certainly have made him one of mine and my little bro's favourites.

 

On the other side of the coin, Ziggler I know for a fact I would have hated. Wrestling ability didn't cut it for me back in the day and his smug chisslled look would fuck me right off. The same I think with Cody Rhodes and probably Randy Orton to some extent

 

Elimination chamber I would probably have guessed some rather random winners. Possibly the Miz for Raw and then assumed it would be him vs R truth in the main event of wrestlemania. Rock Vs Cena would have gone to the rock and then a Hell in a Cell or something similar the month after in my mind.

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From 10 - 15 I was a Ric Flair/Four Horsemen guy, so fuck knows who I'd like now at that age. Who's old and fucks anything that moves in WWE now in a great robe? I think Kelly Kelly would be the diva that would get me wanking, but they don't wear thongs anymore like they did when I was a teen so I imagine the wanking would be less often, less intense, and I wouldn't be wearing out the same 2-3 minutes on a VHS (or 3 seconds in the case of Capital Carnage. I used to pause that, actually. Great breasts).

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If Wade Barrett was a babyface then it would probably be him (in a similar vein to British Bulldog like Simon mentioned). I think I'd have liked Alberto Del Rio, he's a lot like Razor Ramon when I was a teenager. You should hate the greaseball, but his ability and swagger made him so popular. I thought the female valets/managers were fantastic such as Sensational Sherri and Elizabeth. Vickie is so boring now and think we need more female managers who are feisty and hot (sorry Vickie!).

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Interesting idea. 10-15 is too wide because taste changed a lot in those five years (same with 15-20 although its stayed similar ever since) as I watched/read about more and more wrestling but in terms of:

 

My Question is basically if you had just got into wrestling now if you were between say 10 and 15 (choose whatever age you want) who would you like/ who would you hate/ who would you support in upcoming matches and think is going to win/ what Diva would give you sticky bedsheets/ what would want more of / what would you want less of?

 

I take it we

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I can't really think who I was a fan of during much of the wilderness years between Hogan and Austin. I loved Shawn Michaels in '95-96, but I never rated Bret Hart so I don't know I was supporting when he was on top. I must have been on the Lex Express.

 

As a younger kid, I was into pretty much everyone. I always found the mysterious past ones intriguing, though. Like lads from parts unknown, or Nailz with his voice and his criminal record, or Papa Shango with his voodoo. I don't know who would fit into that category now. Undertaker, Kane and... Hunico? Probably Sin Cara and all. I'd probably be well into the John Cena vs Kane feud if I was eight. And the Undertaker vs Triple H one, which is brilliant for all ages. I was mad into the Flair vs Savage "UNTRUE!" feud, too. So I might well enjoy the Bryan/AJ/Big Show storyline.

 

I always loved the easily imitatable things like gestures and face paint as well, so Santino, Zack Ryder and Kofi Kingston would be some of my favourites now. I wonder what the popular face paint at the fair would be. Warrior and Legion of Doom were a lot simpler designs than a Rey Mysterio mask.

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Good topic and similar what to the OP said about Ziggler, as a kid I wasnt really into Bret, Shawn or anyone else who wrestled a good match technically because as a kid with a short attention span I found it boring, I wanted colours, over the top moves and stories, its not until I got older that I start to enjoy a good long thought out match.

 

As I kid I think I would love Kane and the John Cena story and would like Punk against Lauranitis and anything with the Undertake, but Ziggler, Orton, Bryan would of been boring to me as a kid

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It's odd, because in thinking about who I enjoy watching, it mainly covers people I enjoy now. I think, for a variety of reasons, I've regressed heavily in my tastes, because I'd rather enjoy the people that are great for kids, rather than those that are great for cunts. I've gone full circle as a fan, in a lot of ways.

 

I'd love John Cena but hate Randy Orton because I'd pair them against each other in my own head as the two big goodies and I'd have to pick a side. I'd hate Daniel Bryan & Dolph Ziggler because they're little swines, but I'd love the likes of Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne, and probably Sin Cara. If how I felt as a kid (and pretty much forever with the odd exception) is anything to go by, I'd probably not give a shite about The Undertaker.

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I'd probably be a huge Jeff Hardy fan (I was as a kid and I like his work now anyway) for having a unique look that draws you to him, similar to the way I was drawn to Sting when I first got into wrestling as a kid. I liked the fast paced stuff too so it would be Hardy all the way. I can see the appeal in Randy Orton for kids too, he's a badass who is on 'the fans side' but doesn't want to best friends with every other guy on the roster.

 

As a kid I loved Rock, Austin, American Badass Taker and Triple H so I'm not too sure whether a young me would be drawn to Cena in the same way as I was to these guys but if he was the main attraction when I first tuned in then possibly.

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I can see the appeal in Randy Orton for kids too, he's a badass who is on 'the fans side' but doesn't want to best friends with every other guy on the roster.

 

I don't really get this. When I was a kid, I wanted all the fan favourites to be best mates and keeping an eye out for each other when the baddies came along. Okay, so I was picking Warrior over Hogan, but they hugged afterwards so it was all good. I don't think you take in layers like that when you're younger. Unless I suppose you were a kid in the attitude era, where every cunt had shades of grey and so few faces were just solid decent chaps with no foibles.

 

Frankly, though I know now it's heels that are on life-support (because they're all soft as clarts chickenshits), I like the return to the all-round good guy that has happened in the last few years. Randy Orton is no Steve Austin, but simply because he might drop you with an RKO, he's a face with a bit of an edge, and probably the only one. And pne is enough.

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It's odd, because in thinking about who I enjoy watching, it mainly covers people I enjoy now. I think, for a variety of reasons, I've regressed heavily in my tastes, because I'd rather enjoy the people that are great for kids, rather than those that are great for cunts. I've gone full circle as a fan, in a lot of ways.

I'm very much the same. I love Cena, Santino, Hornswoggle, Kofi, etc as I would have as a kid. There'd have been a spell in the middle where I'd be going "SACK HORNSWOGGLE, SANTINO SUX, STOP TRYING TO MAKE WRESTLING ENTERTAINING IT SHOULD BE SERIOUS BUSINESS, BRYAN SHOULD BE A MORE CREDIBLE CHAMPION AND GET CLEAN WINS OVER CENA, EITHER BRYAN FACES CHRISTIAN AT WRESTLEMANIA AND THEY GET 25 MINUTES PLUS OR WWE DOESN'T KNOW WRESTLING" though.

 

Although a lot of that would be lip service, because even when I was a wank-wank, the highlights of the show were the comedy bits for me. Watching SummerSlam 2000, I remember going "they shouldn't have to do all this, they're good wrestlers" during the TLC match. But my favourite things Edge and Christian ever did wasn't a tidy hammerlock on Scotty Too Hotty, it was the backstage segments. Edge's birthday is one of my fondest ever wrestling memories, watching bits of it at a house party and my mate being hammered and laughing so much he fell off the chair. He also fingered the unrequited love of my life that night, so it's bittersweet. I actually forgot the last bit of that story until now. I've upset myself here.

 

And in 2002, I didn't give a toss about tag matches that bores like Chavo Guerrero and Chris Benoit were doing, the best thing on SmackDown was Matt Hardy, Version One. I still hate Albert now for taking his spot in the feud with Edge, even though I've long since lost interest in Matt.

 

I think in general, with wrestling being more reality-based than it was in its heydays (everyone's got a normal name, the base gimmick is usually "wrestler"), there's a lot less variation and a lot less to really hook kids in like it used to. That could be the rose-tints, though. But I feel like Kofi Kingston, Evan Bourne, Justin Gabriel are all basically the same thing, for example. The cast of characters in 1991 seemed much more distinct. I still enjoy wrestling as much as I ever have, mind.

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At ten years old I'd probably have loved Cena. It was the big, powerful, superhero guys who drew me in to wrestling to begin with. If Cena didn't capture my imagination then I'm not sure there's anyone in wrestling now who would hook me in. Not that I wouldn't love Mysterio and the like once I'd started watching, but there's a shortage of those charismatic visually striking guys who were everywhere in the 80's and early 90's like Hogan, Warrior, Bulldog, Sting, the Road Warriors...even gimmick guys like Jake Roberts, Boss Man and Honky Tonk don't really have an equivalent these days.

 

I'd have liked Sheamus a lot, but he's hardly a real-life Superman like Hogan was. Its not nice to admit it given how it contributed to a lot of early deaths of guys from that era, but I think the steroid-monster physiques and displays of superhuman strength probably had a lot to do with wrestling's initial appeal for me as a kid.

 

Fifteen is a very different ballgame. I don't think I'd find WWE appealling at all if I discovered the current product at that age. There's people in TNA I would like, but their overall product and presentation would probably mean they'd never get a chance. Scott Steiner is about the only person who still embodies that reckless chaotic spirit that made wrestling so attractive to teenagers in the late nineties, and I think I'd find him pretty cool if I was fifteen now, even if he is knocking on a bit. I reckon the Motor City Machine Guns would have caught my eye as a kid of any age - I used to fucking love the Rockers, and in a lot of ways they're an updated version of that act...or they would be if they were booked by someone with a clue.

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