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UKFF Battle Rap 2012: Round 2


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Rules for Round 2:


1. Each rap must consist of 16 lines. No more, no less.


2. Maximum of two raps each.


3. You have until 3:00pm on Saturday 4th February to post. If you post nothing by the deadline, you're out.


4. Voting will commence after the rapping deadline. The cut-off point for votes will be 10:00pm on Wednesday 8th February.


Best of luck, cats.

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Don't think your words can hurt me, Keith

Your first round rap was like a verbal queef

It's a mystery to me how you made it this far

I'm about to erase you from history like Chris Benoit


Beat you down for real, it's not a wrestling match

I don't lie, cheat or steal, look I'm better than that

You're a rookie, I wear the fucking veteran's cap

You're the kid from Stand By Me when you step on this track


I thought I saw you on that Wrestling Society

MTV... No, that was the Virgin Diaries!

Like your mother's STD, I've got unmatched ferocity

I could main event WWE, you couldn't work Velocity


I've been here since that show was on air

You've almost been as long, I just didn't notice you there

The reaction I'll elicit, I bet you're filling with hate

Because I just got convicted of lyrical rape

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It's the blunder from Down Under, it's Shane O Mac

You didn't put me on my back with your whack spack attack

You can't even start, let alone get close to finish me

You will get fucked over so often, you will think you're Aborigine


Just like the northeast bush, you're getting burned, all up in smoke

You'll try to fight fire with fire but you spit worse than OG Loc

With your Shane Warne mullet, saggy sunburnt skin like Naitch

You look just like a prisoner, locked in Cell Block H


Don't touch my Armani suit, you shell suit wearing Bogan

Your head will spin around so much you'll think you're Kylie Minogue, son.

I'm the Mozart of this game while you're skills are minimal

Not your fault I guess, you are descended from criminals


See, this game is like a script, you won't be staying long,

My name rings out for years, you won't last season one

I'm like Avon Barksdale, you're like Brandon, or Stinkum

Here's your exit line, "Strewth, Keith is king, fair dinkum"

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Do I even need to bother with a second recital?

I'm already deciding on my custom member title

I've got this in the bag, you're as false as your mums lashes

This beating will hurt more than the motherfucking Ashes


You had an opportunity but you only went and blew it

You are Judy Bryant, I'm king of rape Jock Stewart

It's lucky you're down under, coz should we ever meet

You'd quake in your Ugg boots and run back to Ramsey Street


I'm way out of your league, it's Houchen they're all wanting

You can't handle all the pressure, just like Ricky Ponting

You are met with silence but I sent the crowd all barmy

You haven't choked this much since you had a vegemite sarnie


I'm the MVP on the whole UKFF roster

I'm a Continental lager, you're a can of piss weak Fosters

You put the Queen in Queensland, you're the remo from Fremo

If you want to win the poll you'll need more accounts than Keeno

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  • Awards Moderator
Houchen all the way, that was masterful stuff.


Agreed, he's surely the runaway favourite now that Astronomer Hollywood's out. My favourite raps of this round.



Edit: Meant to write 'Astro' there, but iPad autocorrect lengthened it and i thought it sounded good, so it's staying. New gimmick for Woyzeck?

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