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UKFF Battle Rap 2012: Round 2


Who do you think should advance to the quarter finals?  

15 members have voted

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Rules for Round 2:


1. Each rap must consist of 16 lines. No more, no less.


2. Maximum of two raps each.


3. You have until 3:00pm on Saturday 4th February to post. If you post nothing by the deadline, you're out.


4. Voting will commence after the rapping deadline. The cut-off point for votes will be 10:00pm on Wednesday 8th February.


Best of luck, cats.

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I hate to do this to you Surf you seem like a lovely bloke

I'd rather not destroy you but leave you on your own to choke

Like every Friday night when you're found gagging on blokes poles

On your knees in dirty toilets, open mouthed by glory holes.


Your eighties gimmick is played out. It's weak & straight up whack

Just like your entire wardrobe you got from 'Fat Willy's Surf Shack'.

A creepy ass photographer.. likely taking paedo snaps

In a badly fitting t-shirt saying 'Frankie Says Relax'.


I see that since you quit the wrestling biz you've found solace in meat pies

So when you hear someone callin' you 'Tubbs' it's not because of Miami Vice.

Next time you've got your surfboard & you claim you're hanging ten

We'll pretend you're just not on Brighton beach, cruising for oiled up men


Your wrestling career was a joke, you're a total Britwres fail

You took more poundings in the ring than George Michael in jail.

Like the last time that I gaped your mum & my cock stank of her poo,

I think from that it's safe to say that she's a fucking shitarse too.

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I wish it had been "dead mic", I could have saved myself the bother

Of listening to you offer yourself up as my verbal cannon fodder.

More gay taunts, could you be any more generic?

I'm gonna cut you down like an AIDS epidemic.


Well done for not spelling paedo "P E D O"

A little too familiar there, is there something we should know?

Does the sight of an 8 year old get you reaching for the Kleenex?

In a cubicle, you're getting musical on your skin flute with Jay Phoenix.


You're not allowed near schools, your hard drive is rammed with

Videos of you offering little girls a Haribo Sandwich.

The Police confiscated your laptop, found it full of episodes of Mini-Pops.

I hope you deleted that fanfiction of yourself as a roboplegic wrongcock.


Criticise my wrestling if you want, the closest you've ever got is your dick in your fist, as

You're hiding in the wardrobe watching your Dad fuck your sister.

Want to emulate Benoit some more? Look this way and you'll

See I'm the one with The Bible and pillow. Goodnight Daniel.

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