Paid Members CuckedByMenry Posted January 26, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted January 26, 2012 Rules for Round 2: Â 1. Each rap must consist of 16 lines. No more, no less. Â 2. Maximum of two raps each. Â 3. You have until 3:00pm on Saturday 4th February to post. If you post nothing by the deadline, you're out. Â 4. Voting will commence after the rapping deadline. The cut-off point for votes will be 10:00pm on Wednesday 8th February. Â Best of luck, cats. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members CleetusVanDamme Posted January 27, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted January 27, 2012 Oh fuck, it's JLM I'll blow you up like Lem You eat bogies and phlegm I'll rob you like a junkie would Semi-Chem I am a lyrical gem  It's JLM, oh fuck. With a face that looks like it's been hit with a hockey puck My rhymes are colder than an Alaskan I'll do a Mary Bale and stick you in a trashcan Then chew you up like a shark attack I'm Luis Suarez, and you are a black  Beating you is like shooting fish in a barrel You're even floppier than Andy Carroll We in the game call this being "served" Chun Li called, she said you are a perv I'll kill your body dead, it won't be preserved    I think my chokehold on the rap game just loosened a little bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members JLM Posted January 31, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted January 31, 2012 The least funny poster of two thousand and ten, With lyrics like that, you might just win again. A slack jawed yokel combined with Jean Claude, I'm Simpsons season 7, you're Kickboxer 4.  A second round draw against one of the killers, I'm the Rumble final four, you're the undercard fillers, You're a piss soaked box, I'm like luxury villas Your mum gets more callers than Ernest Miller's  You look a bit run down now, I've carried out some tests, You left a stool sample here, the blood's from that hole in your chest Sign here with your initials, oh hold up, wait, no need Just had a look at your test results and I can clearly CVD.  Shit keeps spewing from your mouth, like some super strain of ebola, You're not Luis Suarez, he's been sent off, you're knocked out like Angola I bet to join the PCC, you licked a lot of balls, On your knees like Houchen's co-stars, you were glad his stones were small. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members CleetusVanDamme Posted February 1, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted February 1, 2012 Make fun of my name? Wow, those rhymes were bitching! But what's a JLM, a boyband? Or are you trying to sell me a kitchen? I laughed at The Cat line though, and calling my mother a whore. Dog, you just launched the worst comeback since Stan Collymore  You think I give a fuck about awards and how many people hate me? Bitch, you left your job because you were too scared to moderate me! This isn't Street Fighter son, put down the pad, Luxury Villa? No. You're a tent in Baghdad.  And there's no hole in my chest, I'm immortal like Hogan. You think you can win this? You're as thug as Terry Wogan. The lack of awareness is astonishing. I'm the midcard filler? You jumped factions from blue to green, nobody cared. You're worse than Kenny Miller.  I'm not Luis Suarez, I won't pretend these are words I don't mean. So please, kill yourself. Don't worry about making it clean. Jump off a roof, or tie a rope around your neck. This competition's mine. Who's fucking next? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members JLM Posted February 1, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted February 1, 2012 Don't call it a comeback, I've been here for years Biting lines from LL, yours are more Britney Spears You don't need moderating, too boring to report You're like the least exciting telecast in the history of our sport  Your mum has a lot of callers but I never said they paid her You don't command a very high price when you look like Big Van Vader JLM is like JML, give yourself a round of applause Then order yourself a mop for the pile of "rhymes" you just shat on the floor  The gaming gags are missing the mark, how did you get this far? We'll call round 2 your bonus round, I'm Ryu, you're the car You need to check your chest again, your diagnosis is wrong There's two holes in there now 'cos I gave you both barrels like Donkey Kong  So suicide is the answer, and you've given me a choice Can I hear the options again please? Loki's balls drowned out your voice The problem for you is this though: No matter what method I choose Even if I killed myself you'd still go and fucking lose Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members CuckedByMenry Posted February 4, 2012 Author Paid Members Share Posted February 4, 2012 No more rapping! Voting will close at 10:00pm on Wednesday 8th February. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Arch Stanton Posted February 4, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted February 4, 2012 I thought JLM took both rounds. "Your mum gets more callers than Ernest Miller's" was a killer line. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NEWM Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 Holy balls. CVD staged a blinding fightback, but then JLM's retort was absolutely glorious. Great work gents. Whoever wins this goes the whole way, says I. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Shit Poster Posted February 4, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted February 4, 2012 I voted Cvd, your first rap was not great but that second one is banging. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kendal mint cake Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 CVD's 2nd rap was the best rap in this battle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loki Posted February 5, 2012 Share Posted February 5, 2012 Big comeback from CVD, with shit getting real. On the other hand, the Ernest Miller line was gold. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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