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UKFF Battle Rap 2012: Round 1


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So many stereotypes, let me make the truth cryst- clear

You can put your shrimp on a Barbie, we don't do that shit here

Seems to me like you've watched a bit too much Crocodile Dundee

You'd travel all the way to Oz to ask my Mum, "Won't you please fuck me?"


I'm not gonna lie, that sounds a lot desperate, man

Then again I'm dealing with a 'jobber who likes to use his left hand

You should be past the stage of jacking off while thinking about homos and 6 year olds

Get someone your own age, you're beating a Pom worse than Warney when he bowls


You're probably there licking your lips thinking, "Job well done."

But your obsession with dudes has me worried what's on your tongue

So don't spit that shit at me, I spit fire when I'm provoked

No matter how much you might like it, I won't drop this Aussie soap


I'm the lyrical Anderson Silva, you just talk shit like Chael Sonnen

I'm a hero of action like Jackman, you're a one hit wonder like Lundgren

You wish this was MMA so you could lay on top of me, thinking, "This is fucking sick!"

I'll leave you choked out like a triangle sub, with you wishing you could suck my dick

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Houchen v Cobra Gordo


How fitting that you have a Hogan Avatar,

Like Wrestlemania 4, you won't be going far,

Try as hard as you like, you're going out first round,

Like I did to Leah Walkers fanny, it's your rhymes I'm gonna pound.


I bet you're staying up to watch the Royal Rumble,

I will be far too busy, shooting hardcore grumble.

Will you use the 'FF chatroom, or a hashtag on Twitter?

Coz I'll be doing Holly Rocamora up the shitter.


What's your favourite scene in cinema? I bet it's when the Death Star explodes.

If you like things that blow and bang, watch my scenes with Alicia Rhodes.

I bet while I'm getting stuck in to tits and arse and quim,

You're having a hand solo over your mate Qui Gon Jinn.


Next time you watch Phantom Menace and get out your cock and pull it,

You'll look at Qui Gon and realise, I have the better mullet.

If you met Carrie Fisher, you'd try and act like Vader,

She will be more interested in my fucking huge lightsabre.




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Cobra_Gordo vs Keith Houchen


I don't need in-jokes or insider references

To beat Houchen I'll just have to talk about his sexual preference

Seen more ugly Gnashers than Dennis the Menace has

So when he first tried cock he was Sainsburys-he could taste the difference


You like to brag about how you get so much gash

But if you had one you might rake in a bit more cash

That's why you're about cock now not pussy

Boast about bitches but you

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