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UKFF Battle Rap 2012: Round 1


From each battle, who do you think should advance?  

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Yeah im definately in the closet, but i was in yours

I was waiting inside watching you and your family on all fours

What a sight i seen im glad i stayed in there i wouldnt take the Biscuit like you

It was Like watching Human Centipede 3 but all the arses where connected to your mouth as you got a thing with Poo


Your like the male version of 2 Girls 1 Cup

But ive heard your version would be more like 34 guys, no cup just your mouth like a glazed donut

Whats the fascination with me i thought this battle was over

I hear you like me, asif im the toast and your cock is the clover


I didnt whisper to your mum, no use shes already deaf

I Gave her sign, saying me your pappie and your my chef

Shes worse than a slave to me shes pretty much trash

No need for me to be tested as i wouldnt be banging that wizards sleeve she calls a gash


Ill never learn a lesson, i wasnt a educated chap

Anymore of this battle and all you'll be hearing is b-r-a-p - b-r-a-p

I wont be doing any throwing because your just panty waste

Ill be waiting for the next battle as no doubt ull want my cock for another taste.

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Now ill be putting it up a notch or two !


You know my glock is live so be cautious not to die

Fuck with Corp and shots will fire cross the T's and dot the I's

Blood is spilling out when my hands touch your mouth

Don't give a fuck about teeth in my fist I'll pluck 'em out


I'm different from normal blokes cause I got a shorter fuse

And I'm in the sort of mood to cripple you with fortitude

No seeds to debauchery it runs in my veins

I'm always lookin for an object to bludgeon your brains


Spying on your family, nah i basically call it in the right place but the wrong time

I was waiting dressed to kill with a uzi and machete on my waist line

I'll was in disguise ready to stick you with knives

And leave your body gross like Forest Whitakers eyes


So this has gotta be the last battle because its getting more of a love Story

People are gonna call me one of the greats because your pretty much History

Im not really after votes just respect, as this is much as a lyrical cup as your as much in love :)

So i think basically all your words to me, are more like a sonnet, because you class me as your white dove.

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Ears the size of Sealand, Iceland, Kwik Save...

It's Kendal Mint Cake, that's my challenge?


He's had the same hairdo for years looking cool,

Truth is he pushes trolleys in tescos looking the fool.

I'm not a homophobe but he does look gay,

with his barnet like the cracker from Kid N Play.


He's hard to rap on because like Nev only duller,

Unlike his mother who I filled with Muller.

Come on, wicked and raw. I've still her pubes jammed in my craw.


Fact is this, he does a bit of drugs.

But he's dealing with Butch, fan of Jack Klug....MAN.

And that's what Butch'll never ever be, playing wank biscuit with Freebird about the motherfucking peak... District?

You know less than nowt, I'll bend you over and give you a new clout.

Clout? That's a vagina, a minge perchance,

And that's why it's good to have you to take for a dance.

Why? Because it's easy, some people have to lose. Butch lives with his mum, but it's Butch your mam will choose.

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Do some research, I had a skinhead for 6 years

Do your brain and waistline a favour, lay off the beers

A tough old welsh boot proud of shitting blood

How proud you'll be when bowel cancer hits you like a flash flood


You've gone and spelled Asda wrong, but don't worry that's OK

Accuracy isn't your thing, stick to the stroke play

Weird obsession with Keith Houchen, did you and him go all the way?

You starred in one of his movies, he only did it gay for pay


Hard to rap on? your mum does your dad with a strap on

Ask Gladstone Small, it was like a scene in the Acid House

TWCF crew stick together, like a kids bonce and a head louse

If you're the funniest of the lot i honestly pity you

7000 posts, but only 10 of them funny, it's true, it's true


Calling a minge a clout? What planet are you on?

Oh yeah, Wales. Where's your language gone?

Proud and independent, but listen to your master:

mynd yn

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