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UKFF Battle Rap 2012: Round 1


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Feste The Jester Vs Steve "PrittStick" Jobs


Feste The Jester


Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

Just as Apollo across the heavens makes his way

So Steve Jobs his foetid yellow rays doth spray

Alas! the poor maiden caught in th'affray.


From surly youth, a plague across the borde

Out of the eflluent thy jaundiced carcass crawled

A giante turde that rises to the rim

Nailed eyes blinded to the shite withine.

Un-dyinge love of comics and of metale maskes the fact

Majoritee attained, virginitee presumably intacte.


Prithee sir, despite the licking of the glue

Rumours around the courte oft ensue

A verie 'merry' fellow, with other fellowes much 'ado'

Thy love of Ryan Reynolds lends the clue!


Thy artless scrawlings naught but epic faile;

Take heart! Clasp knickers to thy nose! Inhale!

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SaxonsQB Vs BigJ




Relax yourself there kid, and just go back to masturbatin

The three 6's in this member's number shows you i'm the lyrical Master Satan

I appreciate your point dear boy, that my posts will allways bore you

When some of the crap you spout about involves Rebekah Elmaloglou


So you think its great to bash the Foxy one, and poke fun at his disease?

Fuck me your rhymes smell worse then dog shit, they fail to even attract fleas

It's time to take your chill pill now, you'll do yourself some harm son

You need a break, if rumour's true you've 'took more sausssage' than Worrall Thompson


The magic number is 16 then? Well i'll match yours line for line

Even though i'm now so sure your out, like Gordon Balentine

You seem really interested, so i'll certify my status for you homes

Your the poet Shogun Rua, i'm the lyrical Champion John Jones


I've left this right to the last minute, so my words mature (like a fine wine)

Don't take it personally or cry over it, now is just not your time

OK i'm gettin bored now, time to move on to round two

All that's left is to flip you all off, and give Mr saxonsqb the big Fuck You

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I was the first out of everyone to post their rap and Feste had like 5 days but I've still got to give him props, he killed it, I thought mine was not bad all things considered but who can compete with a rapping medieval jester?


Also he either has a great memory or did his research. Calling me a virgin was a bit weak though.

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