Paid Members CuckedByMenry Posted January 14, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted January 14, 2012 The deadline for any and all first round submissions is Saturday 21st January at 3:00pm. All future submissions to be no more/less than 16 lines. Good luck.  brownie vs bAzTNM#1 Fan  brownie: "Now I did the Digby more than most My cock goes hard each time he posts But now's the time and it's time to rap I'll spit an ill rhyme to make you Fap Fap Fap  Grab a sports coat and strike that pose You are Don Johnson in nicer clothes You're in the Shitarse 50, came twenty third A bigger fucking loser than Richie Freebird  Are you a wrestler now? What do you do? Hang out round the back like Jambo on Kookoocachu? You're the wrestling tramp whose goose is cooked You're Dennis Stamp - You've not been booked!  You're reading this now and wished you were dead But you're still the star of the Post A Pic thread You've been shafted in Rap Battle, taken my girth My lyric is sick, choke on a dick Surf."     Dead Mike vs Slapnut  Dead Mike: "Uh, Uh, Yeah, Uh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Surf Digby Posted January 18, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted January 18, 2012 "Now I did the Digby more than most My cock goes hard each time he posts But now's the time and it's time to rap I'll spit an ill rhyme to make you Fap Fap Fap  Grab a sports coat and strike that pose You are Don Johnson in nicer clothes You're in the Shitarse 50, came twenty third A bigger fucking loser than Richie Freebird  Are you a wrestler now? What do you do? Hang out round the back like Jambo on Kookoocachu? You're the wrestling tramp whose goose is cooked You're Dennis Stamp - You've not been booked!  You're reading this now and wished you were dead But you're still the star of the Post A Pic thread You've been shafted in Rap Battle, taken my girth My lyric is sick, choke on a dick Surf."  You claimed you were worried you'd offend me, boy you're such a pricktease, Instead you went for easy targets like SHITARSE fifties. Comparisons to Don Johnson? I'm a self confessed 80s throwback, I've got you sucking on my exhaust thinking that's how you get blowback.  You "did the Digby"? What's that? A new dance craze? Try writing at an adult level, you're in the Spelling Bee's gaze. I got no problem giving it to Kooks, at least she's female, Whereas you prefer those whose best friends with Dorothy Gale.  In getting matched with me, the short straw was drawn, You're simply not capable of matching my lyrical brawn. Banal homo taunts and things I wear on my sleeve, You ended up dying on your arse like Christopher Reeve.  Damn right I'm Dennis Stamp, NWA Champ of brass knucks, You're Steve Williams in the Brawl for All - Absolutely fucked! Round 1 elimination, you can't compete I'll knock you to the ground and kick you while you're curled up and foetal.  Word yo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Jaffa Posted January 19, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted January 19, 2012 "Now I did the Digby more than most My cock goes hard each time he posts But now's the time and it's time to rap I'll spit an ill rhyme to make you Fap Fap Fap  Grab a sports coat and strike that pose You are Don Johnson in nicer clothes You're in the Shitarse 50, came twenty third A bigger fucking loser than Richie Freebird  Are you a wrestler now? What do you do? Hang out round the back like Jambo on Kookoocachu? You're the wrestling tramp whose goose is cooked You're Dennis Stamp - You've not been booked!  You're reading this now and wished you were dead But you're still the star of the Post A Pic thread You've been shafted in Rap Battle, taken my girth My lyric is sick, choke on a dick Surf."  You claimed you were worried you'd offend me, boy you're such a pricktease, Instead you went for easy targets like SHITARSE fifties. Comparisons to Don Johnson? I'm a self confessed 80s throwback, I've got you sucking on my exhaust thinking that's how you get blowback.  You "did the Digby"? What's that? A new dance craze? Try writing at an adult level, you're in the Spelling Bee's gaze. I got no problem giving it to Kooks, at least she's female, Whereas you prefer those whose best friends with Dorothy Gale.  In getting matched with me, the short straw was drawn, You're simply not capable of matching my lyrical brawn. Banal homo taunts and things I wear on my sleeve, You ended up dying on your arse like Christopher Reeve.  Damn right I'm Dennis Stamp, NWA Champ of brass knucks, You're Steve Williams in the Brawl for All - Absolutely fucked! Round 1 elimination, you can't compete I'll knock you to the ground and kick you while you're curled up and foetal.  Word yo.  Surf, what took you so long to reply? I'm guessin you were sucking dong down at G.A.Y You say that i'm Superman, cos you're picturing me in lycra Wishin you was Lois Lane, so i'd fly in and spike ya  Would you give it to Kook or be her Gay Best Friend? The latter. Talk about boys and eat Ben and Jerrys. We know you love Brownie Batter. I've just re-read your rap. What did you hope to achieve? The lyrics are crap and week-old cum is all you have on your sleeves.  Make jibes about wheelchairs and take pride in Dennis Stamp When you're fucked after taking stairs and are the one who needs a ramp. Think you'll knock me out in round one. We all know it's just a dream I'm the champ, you're a bum. I'm hitting so hard your ancestors scream.  If you had rap skills they've faded, you're too weak to be graded Surf, you haven't made it. Go back to Kook and get your hair braided. This was your chance to shine and i'm sorry to say you've blown it You say you can rhyme but in this battle i'm the one that's shown it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Surf Digby Posted January 21, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted January 21, 2012 Yet more lame homo taunts. Why? Because it seems like you're the one that's stuck in the closet. You ask me to suck your dick, and then call ME gay The Brown one doth protest too much and gave the game away. Â Your first rap was pretty good, it was almost competition But you followed it with this half baked crap and damaged your position. Still focussing on Kooks, is she who you secretly want to be? Go give yourself a prostate exam whilst wearing PVC. Â After bigging yourself up, you're not actually much of a talker You've got all the menace of a sedated Roy Walker. You should have known you're attempts to sound "street" would get jumped on Your rhymes are about as brutal as something Straight Outta Trumpton. Â You should have bowed out after your first rap, simply because You're getting the lyrical equivalent of D'lo on Droz. As I advance through the round you'll see it's no fluke Stand back everyone, he's gonna....HE'S GONNA PUKE!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Jaffa Posted January 21, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted January 21, 2012 You should have bowed out after your first rap, simply because You're getting the lyrical equivalent of D'lo on Droz. As I advance through the round you'll see it's no fluke Stand back everyone, he's gonna....HE'S GONNA PUKE!!  Stunning.  I had to Google who Dorothy Page was Looks like you're the fan of The Wizard of Oz You mis-read the choke line, I don't want you near me My health is fine, you'd make my schlong itchey  My street talk is duff? You're right, i'm middle class It was still enough to kick your sorry 80s ass My time is pressed, so this rap is slightly shorter Don't get too stressed, you'll have hair like Gail Porter  I've hit with steel, you've hit with feathers You've just been Bealed, good luck in your future endeavours This battle's long been won, but you put up a good fight I've gotta go put on Sky Sports One, Swansea are away at the Stadium of Light Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members CuckedByMenry Posted January 21, 2012 Author Paid Members Share Posted January 21, 2012 No more rapping! Voting will close at 10:00pm on Wednesday 25th January. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kendal mint cake Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Surf n Mike. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cobra_gordo Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Surf 'n' Slap Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members CuckedByMenry Posted January 21, 2012 Author Paid Members Share Posted January 21, 2012 Surf 'n' Slap That sounds delightfully filthy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cobra_gordo Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Surf 'n' Slap That sounds delightfully filthy. Or like a 70's comedy drama about a mismatched crime-fighting duo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Surf 'n' Slap That sounds delightfully filthy. Or like a 70's comedy drama about a mismatched crime-fighting duo It would have to be 80's for our Surf to be in it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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