PILE ON! PILE ON!

[MoistVaj]

In Year 8 I got a brand new Nike Novotna size 3 footy for my birthday and as usual we were playing World Cup Doubles on the playground with it. All was going lovely until Graham Thorndyke ( ginger kid who was often ridiculed) was eliminated in the 2nd round because his doubles partner Sean Burden was more interested in chatting to birds instead of playing and poor old Graham was swiftly dumped out of the cup. With his face as red as his hair, he proceeded to pick my brand new ball up and boot it onto the school hall roof. Brilliant, wouldn't be seeing that again till the end of term when the caretaker went up to retrieve all the lost balls. At this point I was relatively calm about the situation, until Thorndyke started running up and down doing the old Kanu celebration, shouting about how wonderful he was. I swung wildly at him 3 times, missed the first two and the last swing caught him flush in the side of the head and he went head first into a brick wall. And laid there. And didn't move. And still laid there. Everyone thought this was amazingly funny, until I was informed by our years grass that old Thorny had fractured his skull falling off his bike when he was in year 6 at primary school and therefore had ' an incredibly weak skull'. Two year 11 prefects marched me off to the head of my year and was swiftly put in internal suspension for the rest of the week, sitting in some tiny office doing all school work alone and having no lunchtimes. I also shit myself that he was going to brain damaged until his mum rang my mum and I was made to apologise and he returned to school a few days later. I never did get my footy back though.

[PowerButchi]

Remember how being super poor makes you super hard against fists and life? That was Gavin. He was a ginger as well. He was only in my school for year 7, but in that time managed to do an utter shitload of fighting (winning them all, by and large). Smashing Noddy Roberts in the Dinner Queue, smashing my eye and bursting my blood vessels with several well aimed knee, and teasing Bennion about his dead mum before giving him a real winding waiting in the queue outside PE, Gavin would fight the passing of time if he felt so inclined.

 

I saw him about 3 years ago in Yates wine bar in Wrexham and had a chat as you do, and he was mincing and going on about how he's now a clown on cruise ships. Mental.

[Sheriff Buford T. Justice]

Black Vs White British Bulldog - 1980's south london was awash with afro caribbeans as I think they are known. In between monkey chants and Billy Ocean impressions we would kill half hour at lunch by playing the popular playground 'bum rush' game Biritsh Bulldog. Teams were easy to decide by just going for colour. The black lads usually lost due to their numbers being smaller and the white kids deciding to weaponise themselves. Great days.

[cobra_gordo]

Some of these stories are hilarious.

 

Our school was known as somewhat of a rough spot- it had steel fencing all around it with metal spikes on it that made it look more like a young offenders institute than a school and I wouldn't be surprised if a few of the pupils ended up in one. I got in to a few scraps, mainly in year 7 because I had Deidre Rashid glasses and your typical large 80's hairstyle of the typical Sweater Shop jumper-wearer but they stopped after I snapped a couple of the local bully's fingers. This kid had been a cockend for quite sometime at this point and he was playing bulldog with some lads as I wandered past and he basically shouted "Let's get 'im!". He ran over, took a swing, I caught his hand, twisted his wrist, bent his fingers back and then stomped on his hand. His dad came in to school and was crying about how I'd assualted his kid and had no idea of how much of a shithead his lad had been. Result.

 

Our class got stopped from doing chemistry lessons for a while. We had a habit of spraying Lynx into lit bunsen burners while the 80 year old teacher either wasn't looking or couldn't see us but it came to a bit of a head when Matthew Hopps grabbed one of those glass parafin burners and set light to it before proceeding to lob it accross the classroom. Other incidents included people having their arms stapled, pens jabbed in to peoples hands and some fucker set my leg hair on fire in P.E once which was actually pretty funny. The worst thing I ever saw was Matthew and another weedy kid Robert McWhinnie having a bit of a Divas style tussle with the usual hair pulling, headlocks and scratching when Matthew just flips, hulks up and pushes Robert through this glass fronted cabinet we had infront of the tecnolgy department.

 

I fucking hate that school at the time but in hindsight it was fucking brilliant.

[John Galt]

Towards the start of one school year, I saw a guy get an ice cream thrown at him from a moving car. The victim was basically Hodor from Game of Thrones and the perp was Joffrey, rich smug bellend with more money than sense who thought he could get away with whatever and, up to this point, was untouchable. What came next retroactively seems like a pisstake but was deadly serious back then.

 

For a few days, the big mong kind of stalked him around - they were in different forms and totally different classes so they closest they ever got was a testy pass in the corridor - until one day they came face to face in the dinner hall. Hodor went over to him, flipped his plate and challenged him to a fight a week on Friday in the park at the back. Being a div, he finished it with a throat cutting taunt and went 'you're next' like he was Goldberg's long lost downs syndrome relation and, weirder, the other cunt accepted. David vs. Goliath was on.

 

Fight night came about, and I've never seen anything like it; a good wedge of the school was in the park, forming a human gladiator pit and when I got to the front, the grock was wearing a Phantom of the Opera mask. I wish I was kidding, this kid was such a fucking div. The other lad got there and looked palpably afraid, I can only imagine it's because of the volume of people rather than this six foot of special needs in front of him. Ding ding, fight starts and they circle. The Phantom was egging the little guy on and the little guy was throwing the fakest feints at The Phantom like he was testing the range of his toothpick arms.

 

Absolutely nothing happened besides this fucking retarded spectacle for a good few minutes until they reach the mates of the posh kid and he deftly grabs his backpack to pull out his secret weapon: a discus stolen from the gym. He grabs it, smile wide on his face and before he can even do anything with it - whatever that may have even been- one dig sails from the right and gets him. He drops to the floor screaming and everyone shuffles off, disappointed but also terrified they'd just witnessed something genuinely criminal.

 

A week later, the obvious Tory twat returns; the one punch had a thumb that scratched his cornea and he'd needed special contact lenses or something to fix it. At this point, no one cared and everyone was just glum that they'd got caught in the hype. The big kid went on to be popular for about a year before going back to mongdom for Sixth Form after getting twatted by a lad from Scotland after stepping up to stop him from bad mouthing Liverpool. He now works in the Home Bargins at The Strand. Fuck knows about the other but it's funny to know he'll live his life knowing his eye is fucked because he threw an ice cream at some forgettable bellend.

[Bellenda Carlisle]

Remember how being super poor makes you super hard against fists and life? That was Gavin. He was a ginger as well.Mental.

 

I went to school with a kid like that, he was called Aiden, he was so poor his clothes were falling apart and he was so ginger he had white eyebrows, he'd had his nose broken about 6 times by the time I knew him (and we were 11 or 12) and he was a right ugly cunt, he get into fights all the time and as thankfully I'm from London and don't live in a backwards community surrounded by everyone I've ever met my entire life I can only assume he's long dead.

 

We had a "Royal Rumble" in the class once as there was a period with no teachers and we were left to our own devices, it was wicked, bodyslams onto the floor, elbow drops off tables etc, then it got out of hand and we all started fighting for real (well, as real as a fight between 15 12 year olds can be) and I caught a metal chair leg in the eye, glad it wasn't half an inch further in or I'd probably have one eye.

[Halitosis Romantic]

Remember how being super poor makes you super hard against fists and life? That was Gavin. He was a ginger as well.Mental.

 

I went to school with a kid like that, he was called Aiden, he was so poor his clothes were falling apart and he was so ginger he had white eyebrows, he'd had his nose broken about 6 times by the time I knew him (and we were 11 or 12) and he was a right ugly cunt, he get into fights all the time and as thankfully I'm from London and don't live in a backwards community surrounded by everyone I've ever met my entire life I can only assume he's long dead.

 

It's mental to think of people from secondary school as being dead and gone - I discovered that Michael "Gremlin" Simpson was discovered dead in a doorway in Arnold a few years back, having been on the streets for a while. Also, according to accounts of schoolfriends, Matthew "Tiss" Wilkinson (I think it was Wilkinson, anyway) has been on the streets from about 1998 onwards, or thereabouts - I'm sure that's the year I first heard of someone seeing him begging, and there was a confirmed sighting about 2 years ago.

[Bellenda Carlisle]

2 kids in the year below me are dead, Max who fell off a wall on holiday and split his head, I knew him, he was a good lad.

 

And another kid who had a heart attack oddly enough despite being in fine health.

both these chaps died long after school finished by the way, I'm pushing 30 so I guess it makes sense that a few have died since then, I'm not in contact with anyone from school so there could be more for all I know.

 

Don't feel too sorry for the second kid by the way, all the girls fancied him at school so at least he had that going for him before he snuffed it.

[neil is brill]

Nowhere near as good as The Phantom of The Opera, but all through year 7, everyone bullied the stereotypical buck-toothed, wire-haired, gay-porn-moustached loner called Gavin.

 

He was one of those kids who might aswell have walked around with a giant neon sign reading "Please kick the fuck out of me, I'm a douche".

 

Anyways, poor Gavin took all the abuse like a trooper for years and one day in year 10, I was unfortunate enough to be paired up with him during a science lesson, I decided not to bother talking to him unless it was about the classwork. He randomly started talking about wrestling and video games and I took the bait and ended up befriending him.

 

Around 6 months later he developed an ego as he'd moved from "Gayvin "The Buffro" Johnson" to being "Mr. Popularity" and ended up dropping me as a friend as I'd passed my "sell by date".

 

A little embarrassed by this, I just stormed up to the prick and said "Football pitch after school!".

 

For the rest of the afternoon "Justin vs. Gavin" spread around the school faster than any tweets you could imagine today.

 

Nobody thought he'd turn up, myself included, but he did and had a proper confident swagger. At first I thought "shit, I might have awoken a sleeping giant here". Instead, everyone crowded around ready to jump on whoever hit the floor first. Gavin then adopted his stance. A strange pose which wouldn't look out of place in an episode of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, complete with "heeeeeeyaaaaaaaaaah" sound. I punched him in the face, he went down like a sack of shit everyone went to jump on him but I told them to leave it, much to their disappointment. Then I dropped a Road Dogg "shakey legs knee-drop" on him and everyone jumped on him after that.

 

As I left the school, the last thing I saw was the biggest bully of the lot hit the People's Elbow on Gavin and I walked on as if I'd just beat Austin for the title at 'Mania.

[Bellenda Carlisle]

everyone went to jump on him but I told them to leave it, much to their disappointment. Then I dropped a Road Dogg "shakey legs knee-drop" on him and everyone jumped on him after that.

 

Fucking jokes, I can imagine that so clearly. Glad the story had him deserting you, I love a good playground scrap but hate people being battered for no reason.

[Max Power]

EDIT: I've just typed out something long and rambly and it didn't transfer to the thread. I'm depressed but can't be bothered to re-post.

 

All I can say is that my story ended up with 'Oh Dude' getting his ponytail cut off by 'Custard'.

[neil is brill]

everyone went to jump on him but I told them to leave it, much to their disappointment. Then I dropped a Road Dogg "shakey legs knee-drop" on him and everyone jumped on him after that.

 

Fucking jokes, I can imagine that so clearly. Glad the story had him deserting you, I love a good playground scrap but hate people being battered for no reason.

 

To be fair, the knee-drop was just to show off, I hit him hard enough to hurt him but not to injure him. I went to one of those schools where you got battered if you didn't like wrestling, kids were getting Stunnered and Rock Bottomed all over ther place.

 

He was alright the next day in school, bruise on his cheek from the punch and acting a little more humble. Never spoke to him again though, he remained "Gayvin" for the last year of school.

[The King Of Swing]

No major stories from my school days though other then the time there was seven fights in one day which I believe was the school record.

 

Bike shed battle royals were a regular source of entertainment back in comp though no fucker would stay eliminated half the time.

[Wretch]

Meet Jimmy.

 

Born into a family of travellers. Being the thing to do in our school, he was stuffed into a class with the rest of the pikey's. Now Jimmy a was nice enough boy. He wasn't all there in the head, mind, but he got on fairly well with most of the kids in the schoolyard.

 

As I'm sure you're all aware, the WWF, and in particular Steve Austin, was absolutely shit hot in 1998. Our Jimmy loved Austin. So much so that he'd wander into a bunch of kids who were playing football or what have you, attempt to stunner someone (usually failing), give them the finger and walk away laughing to himself. One afternoon in October of that year, we dared the class suck up/snitch Brian Rusk to walk up to Jimmy at lunch and say "Vince McMahon could beat Stone Cold" (or something to that effect). Rusky, not liking wrestling in the slightest, had no idea what he was about to let himself in for.

 

No sooner than the words had left his mouth, Jimmy had already raised his fists. He knocked the shite out of him from one end of the yard to the other. Jimmy disappeared for a few days after this. On his first day back, he put his fist through his classroom window and was gone again.

 

Sorry Rusky.

[Wrasslin]

I went to school with the victim and used to play junior rugby with one of the attackers in this little tidbit.

 

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/beds/bu...rts/4105244.stm