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Richie Freebird

Funniest phishing attempts

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Nowhere near as funny as Birchills missive, but I got the phishing phone call from the "Windows Security Team" today, who were kindly telling me that my computer was riddled with a virus, and they would guide me step by step.

 

The obviously asian woman who introduced herself as "Kate Smith" was very insistant that my computer was going to "Blow up" if this was not solved. I kept her on for about 20 minutes, telling her that I had to look at my computer in a different room, and to see how low she would sink, told her that "the delays because i have trouble getting my wheelchair through the door", but the callous cow carried on insisting that she was looking after my best interests.

 

I asked her what she thought of the pedestrionisation of Norwich centre, whether felching should be an olympic event and if a cannibal man eats another man, does that make him a gay. She was focused on the virus though.

 

I asked her how long she had worked for Microsoft, and she said that she worked for windows. When I asked her if Steve Jobs was still the owner she said yes, and that she had recieved extra training from him this morning to sort this particular matter out.

 

I closed the conversation by asking her to stand while I played the national anthem on a kazoo, and she hung up half way through. Unpatriotic bitch is that Kate Smith.

I had a similar one when i was house sitting for my Aunt a few months ago, they claimed to be from BT and a virus on my(my aunt's) computer was causing a problem with their servers and they needed access to the computer through some program i had to download. I knew it was a scam straight away mainly cos my aunt is on Virgin for everything(House, TV, Broadband, etc.) and secondly as soon as i told them i'd downloaded the program(i hadn't) they started trying to sell me anti-virus software for "a limited bargain price" of just

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I sent a reply back to him saying it would be cash on exchange only. His retort?

 

Yeah but we can not see and exchange cash for the item because I am currently on an official trip to turkey.i assure you,you will receive your bank payment as promised...

 

My reply.

 

What a coincidence, I will be travelling to Turkey myself on Monday. I can bring it with me and we can meet at the airport to exchange. What do you think of that Tony me old cocker?

 

Oh yeah, his name is Tony Drake.

 

Just in case anyone is interested, me and Tony are getting quite chatty now. His reply.

 

sure good idea ...its ok if you are coming.that will be great,but we cant meet at the airport,send me a more reasonable address or location so we can meet.

 

And mine.

 

I'm staying in a very secluded hut just outside of Istanbul. The address is 1, Istanbul Road, Istanbul. I will be there on Tuesday between 10:34-12:13 or Wednesday between 14:56-14:58. Due to the nature of my business (I'm an international arms dealer) I have to be very specific with my times. It may also be a good idea for you to bring a concealed weapon... just in case.

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Just got this email from a bloke on Gumtree regarding a phone I'm selling:

 

Hello

 

thanks for your response, i am ok with the price, i may not come over

because of my job I work in airport and I have made

promise about this item. please let me know your payment method

because i can only pay you with pay-pal now and I will add additional

 

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In the last 4 days I've had 2 phone calls from the same place telling me my PC is screwed and if I don't do all this stuff it will be gone for good (or whatever) and a letter saying someone with the same last name who is related to me in Hong Kong had got 10.5 million if I just hand over all my bank details (given the fact the last name I use is not the last name I was born with makes this even more unlikely) it must be the con me month

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In the last 4 days I've had 2 phone calls from the same place telling me my PC is screwed and if I don't do all this stuff it will be gone for good (or whatever) and a letter saying someone with the same last name who is related to me in Hong Kong had got 10.5 million if I just hand over all my bank details (given the fact the last name I use is not the last name I was born with makes this even more unlikely) it must be the con me month

 

Scan the letter on and let

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Reading through it again his name and the name of the finance company he works for is different( in mine his name is Hung Pang and he works for Kexim Asia) but everything else is exactly the same

Edited by Smeg_&_The_Heads

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Just got this email from a bloke on Gumtree regarding a phone I'm selling:

 

Hello

 

thanks for your response, i am ok with the price, i may not come over

because of my job I work in airport and I have made

promise about this item. please let me know your payment method

because i can only pay you with pay-pal now and I will add additional

 

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