"I've got a friend, whose friend..."

[Forrest]

Everyone has a pal who has a periphery mental friend. Post yours.

 

My pal Matthew plays many, many gigs as an occasional guitarist for a band whose drummer, Ruaraidh, is a constant source of mental wisdom. He lost his job working in the Salvation Army after he went to a festival, took some Methedrone, and had "an episode" on his return to work where he lost his mind in plain sight of the Salvation Army patrons. He also recently went to the Eden festival, where he heard rumours of a nudist tent. He found this supposed tent with a ton of clothes at the entrance and stripped off, only to find inside that it wasn't a nudist tent, but some poor group's tent who had just went swimming and weren't naked, just in trunks and the like. While most people would leave embarassed, he sat down and spoke to no-one for 20 minutes then left because he felt it had "got uncomfortable". Lord knows what the guys in that tent thought of the whole thing.

 

He also tried to ride a bike up the stairs whilst on Ketamine.

 

Anyway, your mental pals of pals. Discuss!

[kris-fogg]

crying with laughter over this thread 1 million times amazing. the tent bit had me then the bike killed me.

My hat goes off too you sir

[Wideload]

More of an acquaintance.

 

Playing hockey last week, Andy lost his mind. After a fairly rubbish attempt at a tackle, the umpire blows his whistle for a free hit. Andy screams

[Foale]

A friend of ours (Joe) invited a guy called Colin to come along with us to Ayia Napa one year. We already knew he was a bit of a wrong'n, but one night after being rejected by a girl at one of the bars of the strip, he convinced himself that one of our other friends had laughed at him when it happened (he didn't, I don't think he was even there at the time). Later that night, Colin kicks down the door of his hotel room and lunges at him. Luckily, another friend was in the room and they both managed to pin Colin down to the floor, where the hotel manager promptly called the police and Colin was arrested. Joe had to bail him out. Colin wasn't invited along to future holidays.

[Registration_Form]

The thread title alone is brilliant enough. Great thread so far keep it up.

 

I've not got a specific 'epic' story about him but knew a guy who we used to see every so often who would purposely take his car out for a drive after nailing a few pills because he found it the best way to come up. He also once forgot his hair gel on a night out so used soap instead. Just rubbed a load of soap into his hair and left it there thinking it would provide the hold he desired. Obviously his scalp was just white with crust for the rest of the evening but he saw no point in washing it off. The punishing thing was he actually pulled.

[LiamTheGreat]

He also tried to ride a bike up the stairs whilst on Ketamine.

Ketamine will do that. Someone I used to know -through someone else- told me how he tried it for the first (and as far as I know) only rime when he took some, went out into heavy snowfall with his shirt off and collasped in the street. Some passer by called ambulance just in time, or he would've died of exposure. When the nurses tried to hook him to all the IVs and monitors and stuff- because he had been playing persona 3 on the PS2 as he took the gear- he had a massive video game induced flashback and thought the nurses were demons, come attack him, so he kicked up a right fury over it. Well, as best as his skinny frame could. They finally restrained him and put him under. He woke up to the sight of his girlfriend ,weaping, at the end of his bed. Personally I thought it was hilarious

[Bellenda Carlisle]

a guy who we used to see every so often who would purposely take his car out for a drive after nailing a few pills because he found it the best way to come up.

 

Fuck! That is my worst nightmare, I hate having any responsibility when I'm on drugs, I'd probably die of fear.

 

These stories are great, I can't bear the guy busting himself up with the hockey stick though, it turns my stomach.

 

I know loads of idiots and have known many more but here's a recent one.

 

I found out yesterday that a close acquaintance (my housemate's best friend) has spent $20000 this year on cocaine, he's a carpenter, what the fuck? I don't even make that in a year, I knew he was a cainer but that's extreme.

[Grecian]

Some years back, I shared a house with a friend called Mark who was from Essex. Mark was a lovely guy, but he had a friend whose name escapes me. Anyway, this friend was staying at ours for a few days in Bath, and we went out drinking.

 

This isn't a tale of drug-fuelled debauchery, more something that happened that was totally random. We were drinking, leching over the latest batch of Bath University freshers, and Mark went to the bar for the next round. Suddenly, this guy (I'll call him Dave, although Christ knows what his name was) turns to asks:

 

'So, what's your claim to fame?'

 

I mumbled something about having been interviewed live on TV a year or so earlier.

 

He answers that with: ' I once went to a fancy dress party dressed as a frog'.

 

Nothing too impressive with that... until:

 

'And I fucked Sue Pollard on the sofa... dressed as a frog'

[fugaziuk]

And I fucked Sue Pollard on the sofa... dressed as a frog'

 

We have a winner

[rockbus]

He then takes off his shoes and throws them over a 15

[Surf Digby]

 

"But you're not as confused as him are you? I mean it's not your job to be as confused as Nigel is".

[insert_name_here]

 

"But you're not as confused as him are you? I mean it's not your job to be as confused as Nigel is".

I fucking love you, that has made my night

[mikey]

I used to work with a guy, though he was more friends of another colleague. We went to Lingfield for a corporate race day and he was on the toot on the way back. We were due to go out in Central London afterwards and went back to Lingfield station to discover we'd need to get a rail replacement service to Oxted. This guy had some disco dandruff on him and had snorted some before we got on the bus. Then, on the bus, he decides to put more on his fingernail and snort it, whilst standing up in front of a packed bus. I could see the faces of people who knew him and liked him just utterly disown him. When we got to London, after another pinch on the train, we were drinking heavily. He spilled two full pints, got into a fight with one of the others guys (a play fight turned serious) and finally announced he was off to the Venue in New Cross thankfully. Utter liability, refused to go out with him again.

[John Galt]

My mate has a big cut on his knuckles from punching a wall on Sunday night when a co-worker dropped and smashed a full bottle of gin, nixing the entire tip jar at that point in the night. He's a bell though, so I can't give him any sympathy.