The Daily Examiner

[aaron]

1. As we're under the grip of a Tory government, name a way to make yourself money that isn't through employment or the dole.

 

Whoring your arses on the local common.

 

 

2. Rate the following sports:

 

Snooker = **1/2

Golf = **

Tennis = *

Cricket = *1/4

Darts = **1/4

 

 

3. What is your biggest claim to fame?

 

The book "Forever a babe" mentions me (DutchAaron). I was the founder of 606substitute so in part responsible for the books existence.

I was the sole web app developer on www.thelifedept.co.uk.

I think I've forgotten something.... although, fame and infamy are different so no I haven't!!

 

 

4. Name your 4 dream dinner party guests and what you would cook.

 

Sir Evelyn Rothschild

David Rockefelllar

Henry Kissinger

Peter Mandleson

 

I would cook whatever the fat greedy cunts love to eat. And spike that shit. Hard.

 

 

5. What's your favourite Star Wars film?

 

Empire.

 

 

1. Who was your childhood hero?

 

Bryan Robson was as close as it gets to "hero"

 

 

2. How did your first relationship end?

 

It was 25 years ago... I think I said to someone in the playground "tell her I don't want to go out with her anymore"

 

 

3. Simon Cowell, arsehole or shrewd businessman?

 

Arsehole.

 

 

4. Which four UKFF members would you invite to a dinner party (if you had to)

 

Um.... Superplex, Edler, um... Quilden, and er.... Knightmare.

 

 

5. Favourite Album of the 2000's

 

N/A. No good music has been made since the 90's. Everyone knows this.

[HarmonicGenerator]

1. Who was your childhood hero?

 

I'm not sure I really had one. I had favourites - favourite footballer, favourite person on TV, favourite person I actually knew, etc. But not really an overarching hero figure.

 

THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH, obviously.

 

 

2. How did your first relationship end?

 

We were both in a play. There was another bloke in the play. She cheated on me with him, for at least a few weeks, then dumped me two days after the last performance. It was brutal. I'm not her biggest fan anymore.

 

 

3. Simon Cowell, arsehole or shrewd businessman?

 

Shrewd businessman. Guy knows exactly what he's doing.

 

 

4. Which four UKFF members would you invite to a dinner party (if you had to)

 

Frankie Crisp to sort out the music, Woyzeck for the wit, Ian for the wrasslin' and neil because he might suspend me if I don't pick him?

 

 

5. Favourite Album of the 2000's

 

Probably Highly Evolved by The Vines, The Datsuns by The Datsuns or Permission To Land by The Darkness - all albums I listened to obsessively for ages.

[Loki]

1. Who was your childhood hero?

 

Fats Waller

 

 

2. How did your first relationship end?

 

I dumped her in a park in Winchester after my mate gave me the pre-arranged sign. She was pretty but kissed like a vacuum cleaner.

 

 

3. Simon Cowell, arsehole or shrewd businessman?

 

Both. Utter reprehensible cunt, has had more plastic surgery than anyone I've ever seen, but has managed to transform pop music from an industry based around music to an industry based on fame, and made millions out of it.

 

 

4. Which four UKFF members would you invite to a dinner party (if you had to)

 

Butch

Houchen

Gladstone

Ian

 

I'd invite Nev but send him to the wrong address, and then we'd ring him up and laugh at him

 

 

5. Favourite Album of the 2000's

 

Bugge Wesseltoft 'Moving' (2001)

[MungoChutney]

Great thread idea, let's not let it die prematurely guys!

 

1. Who was your childhood hero?

 

Hulk Hogan. Up until 1992 when I turned 8 I had blind faith in the Hulkster and had the full collection of Hogan merch, bed sheets, school bag, figures, cup and plate set, the whole lot. Once I was 8 or 9 I realised that my mum was the real hero for buying me all this stuff despite being a single parent and Hogan was just a fantasy figure.

 

2. How did your first relationship end?

 

In terms of actual relationship I was 17 and had been seeing her for 3/4 months. I called her about 1am after I got in from an 18th birthday party. She had been at a seprate party the same night. She told me she got off with another guy at the party she was at which made it easier for me to tell her I'd done the same. (But with a girl obviously!) We ended up laughing and decided we were too yung to get serious and more or less called it a day. Hooked up a few more tiem sover the next 2/3 years and we still have the odd chat on FB etc.

 

3. Simon Cowell, arsehole or shrewd businessman?

 

Shrewd businessman. I like him and I'm not massively into chart music so I don't really care what he's done to the music industry but he makes good tv shows and I think the way he turned his career around was pretty incredible.

4. Which four UKFF members would you invite to a dinner party (if you had to)

 

Mark Dallas, ChrisRenfrewNAK4Life, PBW Ross, and anyobody else from ICW who posts on here.

 

Dinner would be a munchy box each from the local Indian takeaway followed by copious amounts of Buckfast and Lager. C'mon get steamin'!

 

5. Favourite Album of the 2000's

 

Oasis - The Hindu Times - massively under rated IMO.

 

Next 5 questions:

1. Favourtie Charcter in the Simpsons who isn't Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa or Maggie?

 

2. What's your opinion of Children In Need, Comic Relief etc as ways of raising money for chairty?

 

3. Twilight Saga: Girly Crap, a Good Story or something else?

 

4. Favourite Wrestling Columnist?

 

5. Your on death row and you've been granted a last meal. 3 Courses plus drinks. What would you have?

[Chest Rockwell]

. Favourtie Charcter in the Simpsons who isn't Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa or Maggie?

Apu

 

2. What's your opinion of Children In Need, Comic Relief etc as ways of raising money for chairty?

 

They're fairly unsuccessful at getting me to donate money but hey, if they work as a whole then you can't fault it. I have no idea how effective they are; I've never looked into it.

 

3. Twilight Saga: Girly Crap, a Good Story or something else?

 

It really doesn't look like I'm the target market for these films. I'm tempted to say girly crap but I can't say I know that with certainty.

 

4. Favourite Wrestling Columnist?

 

There's this guy who writes for ESPN who was a wrestling fan in his youth, is a proper sportswriter now but reviews big shows or ocassionally does wrestling stories. I don't know his name, but I'd say him - it's nice to get a view from that casual, but respectful and knowledgable perspective because it most closely matches my own viewing habits these days.

 

5. Your on death row and you've been granted a last meal. 3 Courses plus drinks. What would you have?

 

Starter - Grilled fuckoff massive prawns. The bigger the better. I'll have a whiskey sour with those.

 

Main - Palaak Panner - it's a spinach and fried cheese thing. I'll have an earl grey and raspberry ice tea with that.

 

Desert - Tiramisu. I'll have a White Russian with that.

[Dead Mike]

1. Who was your childhood hero?

 

Shakin' Stevens

 

2. How did your first relationship end?

 

Proper relationship

[Jaffa]

1. Favourite Character in the Simpsons who isn't Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa or Maggie?

 

Chief Wiggum. The voice, the facial expressions and the relationship with Ralph get me every time.

 

2. What's your opinion of Children In Need, Comic Relief etc as ways of raising money for chairty?

 

It's a very effective way of raising money. I refuse to feel guilty if I don't donate though. It's absurd then number of people who expect to be sponsored for things without organised charities trying to guilt-trip you.

 

3. Twilight Saga: Girly Crap, a Good Story or something else?

 

I think it's utter tosh, but that's also my opinion of Harry Potter. However, if it gets young people enthusiastic about reading then i'm all for it.

 

4. Favourite Wrestling Columnist?

 

Everyone who writes a column thinks they are a big deal. FSM is awful, every gossip site is awful, Meltzer is a bell and Powerslam is poor. Whilst not strictly a columnist i'd go for UKFFs own Handsome Butch as his contributions to threads such as Comment and Thoughts are splendid and tremendous.

 

5. You're on death row and you've been granted a last meal. 3 Courses plus drinks. What would you have?

 

To start i'd have calamari with tartare sauce. For a main course i'd have a huge steak, medium rare with a blue cheese sauce and curly fries. For dessert i'd have Ben and Jerrys Cookie Dough Ice Cream. To drink i'd have orange lucozade. I love that shit.

[Chest Rockwell]

Although new questions have just been set, I prefer your questions. So I'mma answer thes as well despite the fact it totally breaks the system.

 

1. Rate the last book you read out of 10

 

Douglas Coupland - Generation A. I'm a fan of his in general, and this is one of his better ones I've read recently, and it was quite inspirational too. I'm gonna give it a solid 8/10.

 

2. If you could only eat one type of meat for the rest of your life what would it be?

 

Pork. It's the most versatile.

 

 

3. Favourite subject at school

 

Art. I like drawing and painting, it was a total doss, and we were allowed to have a radio/cd player on (although that led to countless fights over what music we'd listen to.)

 

4. Top 5 biscuits

 

Borbouns, Jaffa Cakes, Macaroons, Ginger Nuts

 

5. Favourite cocktail

 

This is changeable, but I'll pick a Mango Collins for now.

[Wrasslin]

1. Rate the last book you read out of 10

 

Dave Gorman Vs the World: 8/10. Gorman is such an engaging story teller. Not as good as his other books as, although entertaining with interesting little stories, this one lacks the ultimate goal his others have had.

 

2. If you could only eat one type of meat for the rest of your life what would it be?

 

Chicken. It's cost effective and can be used in conjunction with many sauces. (Lamb is my favourite meat.)

 

3. Favourite subject at school

 

English. It was my best subject and I like books bitches.

 

4. Top 5 biscuits

 

Bourbon

Custard Cream

Chocolate Digestive

Pink Wafer

Malt Milk.

 

My least favourite is Soggy.

 

5. Favourite cocktail

 

Long Island Iced Tea. It's like drinking a Cola Slush Puppy with a buzz.

[Wrasslin]

4. Top 5 biscuits

 

Borbouns, Jaffa Cakes, Macaroons, Ginger Nuts

 

I'm going to be 'that guy'. Jaffa Cakes aren't biscuits.

 

And 4 isn't 5.

[Loki]

. Favourtie Charcter in the Simpsons who isn't Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa or Maggie?

 

Absolutely and definitively Principal Skinner. His Vietnam flashbacks and Psycho-esque relationship with his mother were the best things about early Simpsons.

 

 

2. What's your opinion of Children In Need, Comic Relief etc as ways of raising money for chairty?

 

I loathe and detest them with every fibre of my being. The false jolliness and over-the-top empathy have successfully masked the rise of selfish ideology in this country. "I want to pay less taxes and only think of myself in every decision, but it's ok because I sit in a bath of beans once a year".

 

I notice that child poverty has been on the increase in this country, and Africa is still an utter shitstorm, if not worse since Big Charity, so their actual effect is debatable.

 

 

3. Twilight Saga: Girly Crap, a Good Story or something else?

 

Never read, watched or listened.

 

 

4. Favourite Wrestling Columnist?

 

I was a big fan of Hyatte years ago. Nowadays I get all my wrestling news from here, and so avoid the terribly low levels of literacy on newssites. There are half a dozen posters here who are better than anything on any of the commercial sites.

 

5. Your on death row and you've been granted a last meal. 3 Courses plus drinks. What would you have?

 

Starter - fresh, fresh sushi - tuna and mackerel, with some eel too. Ice cold vodka.

 

Main - Southern Fried Chicken with sweetcorn fritters and fries. Chunky red wine, probably Era Costana Crianza 2005.

 

Pudding - Eton Mess. Beaume De Venise pudding wine.

[Dead Mike]

Sorry bout that

[HarmonicGenerator]

I'll do both sets, 'cause why not.

 

1. Favourite Character in the Simpsons who isn't Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa or Maggie?

 

Fucking hell, there are so many. Too many. Pass.

 

2. What's your opinion of Children In Need, Comic Relief etc as ways of raising money for charity?

 

I have a lot of time for Comic Relief (and would happily donate every penny I possess to them if it resulted in Ricky Gervais never appearing on one of their broadcasts again). Never been that into Children In Need, though - might donate the odd pound if asked but Red Nose Day tends to be my major charitable beneficiary.

 

3. Twilight Saga: Girly Crap, a Good Story or something else?

 

One half of the dichotomy of the twenty-first century representation of the literary vampire. (I did my dissertation on this sort of thing, so I can avoid the tedium of reading them for pleasure and look at them in a scholarly way. Haha.)

 

4. Favourite Wrestling Columnist?

 

I'd pick reading a thread on UKFF over a columnist every time. (Aww, you guys)

 

5. You're on death row and you've been granted a last meal. 3 Courses plus drinks. What would you have?

 

I'm too nervous about being executed in the morning to think about food.

 

 

 

1. Rate the last book you read out of 10

 

The Night Eternal by Guillermo del Toro and Chuck Hogan (the other half of that dichotomy I mentioned above). 6/10 - endings are really difficult, and while there were some very cool bits in this, its predecessor The Fall was loads better. It's also a pity that after trying so hard to establish vampirism (that again) as a biological virus/strain, the leap to (spoiler), which is fine of course, because, you know, vampires, but it seemed to jar a little with what had been set up previously. But in the same way, if you're going to do that sort of thing, they did it in an interesting and original kind of way.

 

2. If you could only eat one type of meat for the rest of your life what would it be?

 

Beef...

 

3. Favourite subject at school

 

English.

 

4. Top 5 biscuits

 

In no order - digestive, caramel digestive, chocolate hobnob, Viennese sandwich, Pink Wafer.

 

5. Favourite cocktail

 

Don't drink 'em.

[Halitosis Romantic]

1. Rate the last book you read out of 10

 

The Best Horror of the Year - Volume III

7/10 - some fun, meaty stories, but also some that far too obtuse to be good horror, and a couple that are just plain dumb. My favorite of the bunch was "The Fear" by Richard Harland, which presents a really interesting and chilling tale of underground filmmaking.

 

2. If you could only eat one type of meat for the rest of your life what would it be?

 

Chicken

 

3. Favourite subject at school

 

English.

 

4. Top 5 biscuits

 

Cafe Noir

Fig roll

Milk Choc Hob Nob

Anzac

Pepperidge Farm Snickerdoodle

 

5. Favourite cocktail

 

Bourbon sour

[Chest Rockwell]

A bourbon sour is just a whisky sour, right? Because Whisky sours are made with bourbon anyway...

 

This may seem like a stupid question but I just want to know for sure.