The Daily Examiner

[PowerButchi]

1. As we're under the grip of a Tory government, name a way to make yourself money that isn't through employment or the dole.

 

Confidence Trickery

 

2. Rate the following sports:

 

Darts, Cricket, Snooker, Golf. Tennis is so distantly fifth I may as well not notice it.

 

3. What is your biggest claim to fame?

 

Called Adam Rickett a cunt on a train.

 

4. Name your 4 dream dinner party guests and what you would cook.

 

Fred West,

Ron West,

Tony West,

Go West.

 

John West's Tuna Chunks in brine on mighty white.

 

5. What's your favourite Star Wars film?

 

None of them. I hate the fuckers.

[Maverick]

Gonna do yesterdays too, this is a good idea. I find it strangely intriguing.

1. Favourite flavour of instant noodle?

Beef Super Noodles

 

2. You and your mates are in the pub, and in walks the wrestler you'd most like to hang out with for the evening. Who would it be?

Hogan or Nash, both would be great craic and you know they'd have a few stories and not be a boring cunt.

 

3. Is it better to have loved and lost than never loved at all?

Probably yes, people who have never had a girlfriend or whatever must on some level wonder why and it must absolutely shatter their confidence as they constantly ask themselves why me or what's wrong with them, I used to do it and I got my first girlfriend when I was 17, i'm probably mental.

 

4. If you could instantly remove one person from the face of the earth with no bad repercussions, who would you delete?

I don't really think I'd want to kill some annoying twat celebrity so i'll go with some dictator who treats his people terribly, perhaps the Syrian leader

 

5. Tom or Jerry? Reasons.

Tom, Jerry had no real motive to cause as much shit as he did and poor Tom constantly had to deal with it.

 

1. As we're under the grip of a Tory government, name a way to make yourself money that isn't through employment or the dole.

Ebay? Is prostitution employment?

 

2. Rate the following sports:

Snooker, Golf, Tennis, Cricket, Darts

Snooker, Dates, Tennis, Golf, Cricket

 

3. What is your biggest claim to fame?

Have met the Dalai Lama

 

4. Name your 4 dream dinner party guests and what you would cook.

Sir Alan Sugar- After seeing him on Graham Norton tonight he really tells a great anecdote and I admire him. I'm sure he'd have plenty to talk about and be both interesting and informative.

Mario Balotelli- He just seems like a character, has really livened the premier league up since his arrival and I imagine he's fairly harmless and jovial when fireworks aren't involved.

God- So many questions.

George Harrison- Seems like an interesting guy who I greatly admire, my favorite solo Beatle by a country mile thanks to him seeming like a top bloke and the mind blowing album "All Things Must Pass." He could talk about anything from The Beatles to pythons to his religious/political beliefs. I love a good argument even when i'm proven wrong.

I'd probably cook a good steak which we'd all appreciate, except George who'd get some pasta.

 

5. What's your favourite Star Wars film?

A new hope

[Forrest]

1. As we're under the grip of a Tory government, name a way to make yourself money that isn't through employment or the dole.

Ebay? Is prostitution employment?

 

Depends on how you fill out your tax return really...

[Astro Hollywood]

1. Favourite flavour of instant noodle?

 

Chow mein.

 

2. You and your mates are in the pub, and in walks the wrestler you'd most like to hang out with for the evening. Who would it be?

 

Raven. I think the young me could never forgive myself if I didn't pick him, and he's just a massive nerd these days anyway. A massive nerd who looks like a very old wizard.

 

3. Is it better to have loved and lost than never loved at all?

 

I think it's important for everyone to feel that, just once, because of what it does to art. You can never feel that connection or empathy without having been there yourself, so "them boring bits" suddenly become sub-plots you're weeping over, because that girl on the screen reminds you of that girl. Without having felt that stuff, films, narrative storytelling, music, art - it's just lesser. You can't get it. But you only need to feel that the once, and then quickly move on. The most important lesson to be taken from all that business is to never let it happen again. The memory of how shitty that was goes a long way to helping curb any future incidents.

 

4. If you could instantly remove one person from the face of the earth with no bad repercussions, who would you delete?

 

Robbie Williams. I don't have to explain this, surely? Just look at the cunt, and the way he's revered.

 

5. Tom or Jerry? Reasons.

 

Jerry. Dogs is best, so I can't be fraternizing with no fucking cat.

[Jaffa]

1. As we're under the grip of a Tory government, name a way to make yourself money that isn't through employment or the dole.

 

I'd probably start dabbling on the stock market.

 

 

2. Rate the following sports:

Snooker, Golf, Tennis, Cricket, Darts

 

Golf, Cricket, Snooker, Darts, Tennis. With Tennis fifth.

 

3. What is your biggest claim to fame?

 

I am on first name terms with Brendan Rodgers.

 

4. Name your 4 dream dinner party guests and what you would cook.

 

I wouldn't let Mario Ballotelli in my house, so he's out. I'd go with Hugh Grant, Stanley Tucci, Nigella Lawson and Natasha Bedingfield. I'd get a chinese delivered as I wouldn't bother cooking when Nigella is there plus it's less washing up.

 

5. What's your favourite Star Wars film?

 

The Empire Strikes Back

[Philo_Vance]

1. As we're under the grip of a Tory government, name a way to make yourself money that isn't through employment or the dole.

 

Ebay. I picked up an early 1970's check shirt in its original packaging and tags for

[HarmonicGenerator]

1. As we're under the grip of a Tory government, name a way to make yourself money that isn't through employment or the dole.

 

Lottery.

 

2. Rate the following sports:

Snooker, Golf, Tennis, Cricket, Darts

 

Tennis, cricket if I understood it, golf if I understood it, snooker, darts.

 

3. What is your biggest claim to fame?

 

I was on the front page of the Newcastle Journal earlier this year? There's probably something better I could come up with, but that'll do.

 

4. Name your 4 dream dinner party guests and what you would cook.

 

I'd get rid of any of them for a lovely lady or two, but let's have a blokes' dinner party. I'll have Fry and Laurie, I'll have Springsteen, and I think I'll have William Shatner as well. Anyone who wouldn't want to be at a dinner party with Shatner is kidding themselves, the man would be a fucking riot.

 

We'll have something involving chicken.

 

Shatner.

 

5. What's your favourite Star Wars film?

 

The first one. A New Hope, Star Wars, Episode IV, whatever you want to call it. I love it so much, everything about it is virtually perfect. I always used to have a soft spot for Return of the Jedi, but ANH has overtaken it in recent years.

[PowerButchi]

Willie is my idol, such a rich and varied life that he'd be fascinating to talk to. Steve Earle similarly, plus his political interests and so on would be interesting to discuss. Doug Stanhope purely because it would get fucking messy, plus I'd like to see how two comedians as different as him and Lee would get along. I would make mexican food, just because.

 

Did you go to watch Steve Earle in Cambridge the other day?

[Philo_Vance]

No, sadly missed him this time around. Saw him right after 'Revolution Starts Now' with the Dukes though, and again solo doing the Townes record at the barbican a couple years ago. Absolutely class.

[Loki]

1. As we're under the grip of a Tory government, name a way to make yourself money that isn't through employment or the dole.

 

Buying Italian bonds at 8% interest.

 

2. Rate the following sports:

Snooker, Golf, Tennis, Cricket, Darts

 

Cricket

Snooker

Darts

Golf

Tennis

 

3. What is your biggest claim to fame?

 

I won the European Videogame Award in 2010 for video game soundtrack.

 

4. Name your 4 dream dinner party guests and what you would cook.

Kevin Nash

Hulk Hogan

Bruce Willis

Carl Weathers

 

I'd cook massive steaks on the BBQ, with marinated pork belly as a secondary meat course, potato salad, Piedmond roasted red peppers stuffed with tomato and anchovy, Pearl Beers and Woodford Reserve Bourbon. Guests would bring swimming gear as the pool would be open. After the BBQ we'd head out into Miami to catch up with Christy Hemme, Natalie Portman and the girls on South Beach.

 

 

5. What's your favourite Star Wars film?

Empire Strikes Back. Irvin Kershner is a better director than Lucas, and paces his middle chapter absolutely perfectly. It contains most of the character development and still delivers the best set-pieces as well.

[patiirc]

1. As we're under the grip of a Tory government, name a way to make yourself money that isn't through employment or the dole.

Work out how the DWP are so fucking fundamentally useless and get away with and copy said model

2. Rate the following sports:

Snooker, Golf, Tennis, Cricket, Darts

 

Snooker

Golf

Cricket

Tennis

Darts

 

But, Ill watch any of them if they are on

 

3. What is your biggest claim to fame?

 

Erm, dunno not one for bigging up my own achievements.

 

4. Name your 4 dream dinner party guests and what you would cook.

 

Mike Jittlov

Sandra Bullock

The Ultimate Warrior

Steve Redgrave

 

Id cook Lamb Goulash

 

5. What's your favourite Star Wars film?

 

Empire Strikes Back

[Green]

1. Favourite flavour of instant noodle?

Mushroom flavoured Super Noodles were incredible. Didn't seem to stick around for long though. If it's Pot Noodles then it has to be the curry one.

 

2. You and your mates are in the pub, and in walks the wrestler you'd most like to hang out with for the evening. Who would it be?

Sean Waltman. He'd probably be up for smoking a little weed with us and just chatting calmly, without it being too boring. He always comes across as pretty knowledgable in his shoot interviews.

 

EDIT: Can't believe I forgot Raven for this! It would have to be him.

 

3. Is it better to have loved and lost than never loved at all?

Yeah, probably.

 

4. If you could instantly remove one person from the face of the earth with no bad repercussions, who would you delete?

No one instantly comes to mind that deserves so harsh a punishment. Also the risk of their disappearance generating them even more exposure is just too great. If pressured to choose, I'd play it safe and selfish and say Anne Hathaway because she's a bit shit.

 

5. Tom or Jerry? Reasons.

Tom purely on his rendition of "Is You Is Or Is You Ain't My Baby?"

 

1. As we're under the grip of a Tory government, name a way to make yourself money that isn't through employment or the dole.

 

Inheritance.

 

2. Rate the following sports:

Snooker, Golf, Tennis, Cricket, Darts

 

From best to worst; tennis, snooker, golf, darts, cricket. I really can't stand cricket.

 

3. What is your biggest claim to fame?

 

Appeared on BBC News as an interviewee for about seven seconds.

 

4. Name your 4 dream dinner party guests and what you would cook.

 

I'd get Stephen Fry, Jason Mewes, Iggy Pop and Robert Englund (as Freddy). We'd eat Rogan Josh lasagna because that's the best thing I can cook.

 

5. What's your favourite Star Wars film?

 

"Empire had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings. All Jedi had was a bunch of Muppets."

[Maverick]

Thought i'd set the next days since i'm here, aslong as Forrest doesn't mind?

 

1. Who was your childhood hero?

2. How did your first relationship end?

3. Simon Cowell, arsehole or shrewd businessman?

4. Which four UKFF members would you invite to a dinner party (if you had to)

5. Favourite Album of the 2000's

 

For me:

1. Eric Cantona, as a child he just seemed cool as fuck and he was everywhere. He was fantastic and knew it and I admired that

 

2. Me being heavily insulting via text message

 

3. I like the guy, theres no point telling someone their talented just to spare their feelings, hes worked hard and when he fucked up badly he moved back in with his parents and work his way back up.

 

4. Ianhitmanhart- A knowledgeable guy I imagine we'd get on quite well

Frankie Crisp- Seems to have some hilarious anecdotes about his work colleagues, enjoys his football and shares my love for the Beatles

Butchreekmark- Butch has always struck me as a mans man so I don't know how he'd take to me, but he definitely knows his wrestling and we could discuss country music and being a small country within GB

Richie- I don't agree with most of his opinions on wrestling but knowone can deny he's passionate about it, it would be shit if we all sat around agreeing all night, he seems like a good guy with his heart in his right place and if im too understand correctly he enjoys a good few drinks not unlike myself

 

5. Hard choice between Avenged Sevenfolds City of Evil and Ozzy's Black Rain, I have to go with Ozzy because I think he's a fantastic musician (especially for one who can barely speak who in one album can throw in some rock, metal, pop and a power ballad. I really loved this album when I was about 15 and he gets the nod because iv'e really gone off avenged since.

[Green]

Well then, may as well do this one too...

 

1. Who was your childhood hero?

I'd like to say something cool...but I'd be a blatant liar. Simba from the Lion King. I used to wish I could go live with him, Timon and Pumba in the jungle when I got older.

 

I was a very imaginative child.

 

2. How did your first relationship end?

 

She avoided me for most of the day until finally getting the guts to meet up with me and tell me immediately after I'd said hello. Tormented her later on with prank phone-calls. Ah, young love.

 

3. Simon Cowell, arsehole or shrewd businessman?

 

Can't he be a bit of both? He's definitely more the latter I'd argue but both descriptions do kind of go hand in hand.

 

4. Which four UKFF members would you invite to a dinner party (if you had to)

 

I doubt anyone I'd invite would turn up! I'll go with Nev (film and music discussion), Pictos (wrestling dicussion), Butch (can't be the only Welshie) and Loki (further film discussion...and I'd imagine he can cook, being a posh bastard and all).

 

5. Favourite Album of the 2000's

 

Death From Above 1979 - You're A Woman, I'm A Machine. There are plenty of others that could take the prize (Portishead - Third, Nine Inch Nails - With Teeth and She Keeps Bees self-titled all deserve mention) but DFA is always the first to come to mind when I'm asked this. For me, it's the perfect album, not one bad track.

[Maverick]

To clarify the Simon Cowell thing it's just what you think of him in general, doesn't have to be one of those two options.