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"I Don't Like People Who Don't Like..."


Keith Houchen

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Gladders mentioned in a thread that, when it comes to the film Innerspace, "I don't talk to people who don't like it."

 

Now, there are exceptions but in general, I don't tend to like people who don't like the music of Prince, the films of Stanley Kubrick or the radio station 6 music.

 

In a related hatred, I tend not to like people who like and use the font Comic Sans (mods, if some witty fucker replies in Comic Sans, can you ban them? kisses on your cocks if you do), think Top Gear is the best show on TV, like Peter Kay, Jason Manford and that other one, Paddy something.

 

As I say, it ain't exclusive, nor exhaustive. There are people I like who don't like list one or do like list two. There are also others but they will come later.

 

How about you bunch of nice folk/bunch of cunts?

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I was with you till 6music Keith. Mainly because Lauren Laverne is such a tit.

 

I don't like people who don't like Arrested Development. I'm fine if you haven't watched it but don't tell me you think it's shit, because you're wrong, arsehole.

 

In a similar vein to your Manford et al crowd, I don't like people who worship the Mock the Week set. I hate that show and every Christmas DVD-shilling prick on it. Comedy takes a holiday whilst the thickest people you know act like they've got Newsnight on Series Link just because some obnoxious little cunt like Russell Howard mentioned David Cameron.

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I was with you till 6music Keith. Mainly because Lauren Laverne is such a tit.

Yeah, that's a fair point, Newie. I guess 6music is an all encompassing phrase but yeah, I can't stick her at all. I guess it is like people who say they love Ealing Comedies or Carry On films, it's more an "In general" as opposed to all of them, including the shit ones.

 

(For the benefit of Butch, the shit Carry On film would be Columbus.)

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I don't like people, well women, who remotely fawn over Robbie Williams. I've been on a dates with a few girls who've tried to talk to me about him. There are many subjects I can bite my tongue on, especially on a first date when I'm still weighing up if they're worth a jump, but Williams isn't one of them. They have no concept of how idiotic they come across and sadly, never will. No point even trying to explain logic to them, because they're delusional shitehawks.

 

Listen love, this supposed mystical woman who's going to turn his life around and save his tortured soul

 

a) doesn't exist

b) if she did, it's not you

 

Go and wipe your finger and finish your cake.

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Hackneyed, possible joke thief, definite credit-where-credit-is-due denier, fat. Above all, his material is fucking threadbare now - I used to enjoy him, but that ended a long time back. It's obvious that someone is done when my mum points out that their material is overused.

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I don't like people who don't like music. I know everyone probably likes music but the kind of people who'll say 'I just like what's on the radio really'. I don't care if you love the worst euro-pop tat, as long as you care about it & can at least explain why you love it that'll do. If you own 7 albums to your name why still say you like music or list it as an interest on facebook? just fuck off.

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I don't like people who like Hollyoaks and refer to it as "Our local soap". It's based in Chester, in England, filmed in Liverpool, and they've all got Leeds accents! How's that local to me (other than being based only 12 miles away)?

 

I don't like people who don't like Rik Mayall. Especially males. I encountered one who said he didn't like bottom, and I didn't actually believe him and said "Fuck off!?" in varying degrees of surprise for about 5 minutes.

 

I don't like people who think Tom Hanks is better doing stuff like Forrest Gump and Castaway than The Burbs and The Money Pit. They are fucking dangerously wrong.

 

I can't abide people who don't like Talking Heads, Funk, Soul, Motown or the song Wichita Lineman.

 

 

 

(For the benefit of Butch, the shit Carry On film would be Columbus.)

 

Emmanuelle and England also suck dick with gusto, despite Windsor Davies being in England.

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Whats wrong with Peter Kay?

 

What's right with him?

 

I'm with you, Keith, funnily enough. I don't mind Lauren Laverne, though. She's a bit fawning and giggly and twee, but when she wasn't on last week they had Huey Morgan on instead. Now I like Huey but he is a fucking shit DJ. So she was missed a lot.

 

I don't like people who don't like subtitled films. "What, am I supposed to watch and read at the same time?!" Yes, that's right. You are. It's not the 12 labours of Hercules, is it?

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In general, I don't like:-

 

- People who make up their own swear words (e.g. fucknuggets) or combine two unrelated ones (e.g. pissarse)

- British students

- People who like metal

- Hippies

- People who like Top Gear and/or Doctor Who

- Kopites

- People who don't like Christmas

- Police

- People who use the phrase "lost faith in humanity" in relation to something inoffensive like Justin Bieber

- Cocky fat girls

- People who genuinely believe they would be happier if they lived in the past

 

And many, many more.

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