Grecian Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 I went to a football match at the weekend, and needed the usual piss at half-time. So I trotted off to the gents... to be greeted by the sight of some dude at the trough with his trousers and pants round his ankles, arse out and pissing like an elephant. That was weird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Astro Hollywood Posted November 7, 2011 Moderators Share Posted November 7, 2011 I've just transferred to a new office and they have no urinals in any of the blokes toilets. I had a right fucking shock on my first day because I kept on thinking I'd walked in to the womens. It's certainly less barbaric but at the same time all the seats end up soaked in piss and pubes about twenty minutes after the building opens which wouldn't be the case if they had urinals. Â Yeah, it'd be all over the floor instead. Â The invention of urinals doomed every public toilet to forever be ankle deep in urine. It's like some horrible recreation of Singing in the Rain, when your feet tippy-tap the stale puddles of piss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loki Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 It's all that tea they drink, Woy. Â I'm fine with urinals, as I don't suffer from neuroses to do with my penis and so can piss anywhere, but I DO LOVE a disabled toilet. Getting to sit down in a nice big cubicle with its own washbasin, and take a shit, is pure luxury. Â Earlier today I wandered out to the loos to find they'd just finished cleaning them, they literally took off the closed sign and let me in, I went straight for the disabled bog. Fucking magic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Quentin Posted November 7, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 7, 2011 And outdoor festival urinals? It's fucking medieval. Â Those big green plastic things? Those are just barbaric. My biggest issue with these was the way they are lined up back to back. So not only are you sandwiched between two other dudes, but there's also the occasional issue of another guy, dick in hand, staring right at you. You can just feel those eyes on you even though you are looking everywhere else. Â Portaloos at festivals aren't much better either. It's like an awful game of russian roulette just standing there in the line waiting to see which door opens when it's your turn. Who's turd will you get a glimpse of? Hammered, sweating, pube-shedding guy? Amazingly hot girl? Big fat bird? Â Oh and just to throw my votes in, seat down, standing/bending over wipe (front to back). Stand up to piss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members PunkStep Posted November 7, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 7, 2011 I can't use urinals for the most part, I suffer from the worst shycock. Unless I'm on the drink or really, really, really I'm-about-to-piss-my-pants really need it. ME FUCKING TOO Â I don't know why, some stupid mental block which stop me pissing in a urinal if there is somebody else in the loos. Or unless I'm absolutely dying, or unless I'm pissed. But normally I cannot piss in a urinal if someone is around. Don't know why, certainly not self-conscious- I've chased people around waving my cock at them 'for a laugh' before (in a hetero way) and plus have no issue in stripping down to by bare nads in changing rooms in front of friends. But urinals man, it's a weird one. Part of me wishes I didn't have this problem, but on the other hand if get splashed to fuck if I use them anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Astro Hollywood Posted November 7, 2011 Moderators Share Posted November 7, 2011 And outdoor festival urinals? It's fucking medieval. Portaloos at festivals aren't much better either. It's like an awful game of russian roulette just standing there in the line waiting to see which door opens when it's your turn. Who's turd will you get a glimpse of? Hammered, sweating, pube-shedding guy? Amazingly hot girl? Big fat bird? Â Everyone's. In a huge pile Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Bus Surfer Posted November 8, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 8, 2011 Music festival toilets are a nightmare. Leeds 2002 was so bad it was referred to as auschwitz by most people I spoke to. I've never seen so much piled up shit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Justice Posted November 8, 2011 Author Share Posted November 8, 2011 You'll all be pleased to know that I have adapted to the toilet seat. I did have an unforunate mishap last night where, in the middle of the night, I went for a piss, and decided to sit down on the toilet seat. I somehow managed to piss through the gap and down my leg. Lesson learned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members LaGoosh Posted November 8, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 8, 2011 There are no words as to how amazing that is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members FLips Posted November 8, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 8, 2011 I've done that too and I use the toilet seat all the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Justice Posted November 8, 2011 Author Share Posted November 8, 2011 There are no words as to how amazing that is. Â That I've finally been potty trained at the age of 31, or that I pissed on myself? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cobra_gordo Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 There are no words as to how amazing that is. Â That I've finally been potty trained at the age of 31, or that I pissed on myself? Â Can't it be both? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted November 8, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 8, 2011 That can happen if you have a slight semi when you sit down or if your knob is so big that it rests on the side of the bowl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Halitosis Romantic Posted November 8, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 8, 2011 I think this is just damage control, Steve. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Justice Posted November 8, 2011 Author Share Posted November 8, 2011 That can happen if you have a slight semi when you sit down or if your knob is so big that it rests on the side of the bowl. Â The latter, definetely the latter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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