Paid Members John Matrix Posted November 4, 2011 Author Paid Members Share Posted November 4, 2011 On the subject of teachers nickames, our Design and Technology teacher Mr Watkins was known to a group of us as "BENNETT!" because he had a moustache just like that of the villian from Commando. Â I write it in capitals with an exclamation mark, because it was specifically said in a shouty Arnie tone whenever anyone referred to him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Quentin Posted November 4, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 4, 2011 I know a lad that was born with only one testicle. He's known as "Bollock". Â A fella at school was called "Toby" due to his head being so triangular it resembled a chunk of Toblerone. Another guy was called "Hovis" for similar head-shaped reasons. I was "Bauble" in this little game Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wideload Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Norrie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Power Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 I can't remember many nicknames for teachers apart from a few: Â Limescale - Science teacher. Had occasional yellow patches under his arm. Â Harpic - Mr Harper. An ode to the popular bleach. Â God - A rare sign of respect. Mr Godber, headteacher. He's dead now. Â Jurgen - PE teacher, born in Berlin. Â The Clown - Mrs Brown, history teacher. Applied make up rather aggresively. Â Bassoon - Mr Devlin, music teacher. Â -- Â I've remembered a few more. One of my current friends is called "Dr Yip". On the account that he once 5 putted on a par 3, and now hates golf. Is not a doctor. Â "Argos". Because he works at Argos. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members ReturnOfTheMack Posted November 4, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 4, 2011 Teachers... god yeah. Â Nobby Oldham, once asked why he was nicknamed Nobby by the pupils he told the class 'Because Im a knobhead I suppose'. Great guy. Goldfinger. English teacher who smoked too much. Horse. Mr Ned, had a pony tail that made him look like a horse. Plus the name... Jesus Jones. Science teacher who looked like a hippy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Dead Mike Posted November 4, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 4, 2011 Teachers - Â Vader - Woman geography teacher who smoked like a chimney as well as being asthmatic hence the heavy breathing. Stowarth - His name was Mr Howarth but if you said it quickly that's what it sounded like. Â Not really a nickname but we also called Mr Draper - 'Dildo Draper baby raper' as even back then we knew he was a nonce & that's before being a paedo was in fashion...now he works in B&Q. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Chest Rockwell Posted November 4, 2011 Moderators Share Posted November 4, 2011 Not really a nickname but we also called Mr Draper - 'Dildo Draper baby raper' as even back then we knew he was a nonce & that's before being a paedo was in fashion...now he works in B&Q. Â Â Trying really hard not to laugh out loud at my desk to that one.. brilliant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators PowerButchi Posted November 4, 2011 Moderators Share Posted November 4, 2011 The best nicknames are the ones that completely replace a guys name to the point that only his parents call him anything else. Â That sounds like my friend Giggs. He can't even remember why he's called Giggs. He just knows that he has for about 15 years+ and that even his sister calls him it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wideload Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Some guys at school started calling one guy Dave, because he looked like (read. nothing like) Dave McPherson, ex-Rangers defender. Â It stuck to the point that anyone joining school after this, legitimately didnt know his name. I got a friend request from him on Facebook under his real name and I was like "who the shit is that?..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator Frankie Crisp Posted November 4, 2011 Awards Moderator Share Posted November 4, 2011 We used to call our mate Sex, because he had a dry spell of about five years. Then he started to knock off my sister. I call him other names now. Â I've also got a mate known as Spanish Tony. You can work that out for yourselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members wandshogun09 Posted November 4, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 4, 2011 There's a big lesbian girl down my sister's road who is simply known as 'Fish Fingers' by seemingly everyone in the area. On top of that she looks a lot like Shaun Williamson AKA Barry from Eastenders aswell. Â One of the best nicknames I've heard was in Frank Skinner's autobiography. He was on about a girl he was at school with and said something like "she had thick fingers like sausages, a pink face like bacon and flat tits like fried eggs. We called her The Breakfast" Â or something like that. The Breakfast is a fucking great nickname. Oh and Vinegar Tits from Cell Block H might be the best one ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingOfMetal Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 at College (Wilberfoce in Hull) we had a librarian who just to shout at people who talked in the library, who we gave the name 'Conan The Librarian'. which quickly became the offical name from everyone at college, was great to hear someone I didnt know refer to Conan at some point. As far as I know, that name has stuck, unless someone knows otherwise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Power Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 There's a big lesbian girl down my sister's road who is simply known as 'Fish Fingers' by seemingly everyone in the area. On top of that she looks a lot like Shaun Williamson AKA Barry from Eastenders aswell. One of the best nicknames I've heard was in Frank Skinner's autobiography. He was on about a girl he was at school with and said something like "she had thick fingers like sausages, a pink face like bacon and flat tits like fried eggs. We called her The Breakfast"  or something like that. The Breakfast is a fucking great nickname. Oh and Vinegar Tits from Cell Block H might be the best one ever.  Yeah I remember that. Its a good bio is Skinner's. His account of him losing his virginity is good too. Basically, after shagging a very, very boring a shitty hooker, he told her...."It's been a business doing pleasure with you". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members neil's bitch Posted November 7, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 7, 2011 We have a mental bloke in crewe who wanders around during the day who everybody in our area calls "showaddywaddy". I'm not really sure why, but if you shout showaddywaddy at him, he just shouts back "WAAAAAAAAY". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
huss Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 we knew a girl who had a big ginger afro and her boyfriend only had one eye we named them the Ginge-enium dome and the london eye we were cunts in school Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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