Inventive nicknames

[Stylin_and_Profilin]

Some of these are cracking.

 

Thought of a couple of more when i was at work. Barry McVitie who was called 'Hobnob' and an Indian girl a year above us at school who was called 'Pepsi' as her surname was Kolah, better still she was a heffer and had a little sister in the junior school who was built like a match stick and carrying on the fine family lineage as 'Diet Pepsi'.

[Craig The Hunter]

My pal shagged a girl once that he actually came up with the nickname for. "Honey Monster" - if you'd seen her, it was perfect.

[Halitosis Romantic]

My pal shagged a girl once that he actually came up with the nickname for. "Honey Monster" - if you'd seen her, it was perfect.

 

There was a kid at my school with a nickname within a nickname - he was called Docker, based on his shoe choice, but he was also The Honey Monster, due to his immense size and hairy blondeness.

 

There was also Thomas Auldwinkle, nicknamed "Woof!". Because he was the best friend of the main character on the show Woof!.

 

There were also Flipper and Willow - respectively, a kid born with only one arm, and a midget.

[Lion_of_the_Midlands]

Used to have 2 customers come into where I worked in Grantham who were known as Octo Brian and Rikishi respectively. Octo Brian had a hand injury that left three fingers and his thumb paralised but his little finger used to wringle around like a tentacle, and Rikishi was a dwarf of indeterminate gender, you just couldnt tell if it was a he or a she so we used to call him/her Rikheshe

[tom]

In school I, unfairly, acquired the nickname of "Boner" for apparently having a massive lob-on whilst talking to a girl who everyone knew I really liked. The worst part was that it wasn't even true; it was just the way my trousers just happened to be sitting at the time. Although, the best part was what it slowly evolved into; it somehow went from me having a stiffy over her to me just being hung like a horse and thus it appeared that I was nursing a boner.

 

I can't quite remember what brief nickname it spawned but I also acquired one for apparently throwing up in a pint glass at a sixth form party; in actual fact, I bit into a quiche on the buffet, tasted some red pepper and then proceeded to spit it out into an empty pint glass. Needless to say though, the end result looked surprisingly look some horrible lumpy sick. I seem to have it in my mind that I was called "Pint Glass" for a while, but I'm not entirely sure if that's right at all.

[Tom Fun]

A good friend of mine accuired the nickname O.B. city. We all worked at shop which was run by another friends parent which rented videos. So me and my mates all registered, and my friend whom is quite a big lad. The other friend thats parents that run the shop said he came up with a great name for him, which was said name. O.B. city!

[Keith Houchen]

When I was at University I played for both a local pub's (which was primarily made up of students) and then the University's darts team. This was back in the late 90s when it was still in its infancy on Sky, but we all had our own Darting nicknames back then. I was 'the Grim Reaper' and other members of the team included 'the Doctor of Darts', 'the Grinding Assassin', 'the Surgeon', 'the Arrow', 'Wildman', a lad who tried to pattern himself after Phil Taylor even giving himself the nickname of 'the Power' but he was on the large side of things so that never stuck and we called him 'the Barrel' (much to his chagrin). One of my mates surnames was Quinn, so he became 'the Mighty', another lad's name was Phil so he was known as 'Albert' (after the Newcastle footballer), we also had 'the Rock' (he was from Ireland), 'Fozzy' (due to his resemblance of the bear), 'Flamboyant' Alan Farrell and my favourite nickname of the lot was for Steve Hosking who was christened 'Stone Cold'.

Good Arrows! I was, and still am, The DartBreak Kid.

[John Galt]

There was a kd in school who shit himself on the bus home and from then on was just known as "Shit Himself." About 5 years after leaving school - so about a decade since he did the deed - I saw him on a night out and my mates goes over, puts hs arm around him and is like "alright, Shit Himself, I haven't seen you in years!" and then spent the rest of the night telling all of Shit Himself's friends how he got the name.

[KingOfMetal]

we had a Spanish teacher at school who was in fact from Germany, but all thought looked Russian, and we gave her the nickname 'The Gremlin From the Kremlin'

[John Matrix]

No one ever told my PE teachers about political correctness, so it goes without saying that the Sikh and Italian (named Aurelio) in our class became known as "Aladdin" and "Ravioli" respectively.

 

I dont condone any form of racism, but even i confess to stifling my laughter at the childishness of this one..

 

There was a pakistani lad called Kamran in the year above who had a dark black mole in the centre of his chin, i guess it bore enough resemblance to a Bindi to justify our year's 'hard kids' crowning him with the moniker Kamran Stan Man Upside Down Man.

 

This almost inspires me to start a thread about the best things you've ever heard which immediately followed the words "I'm not being racist, but..."

[Loki]

The best nicknames are the ones that completely replace a guys name to the point that only his parents call him anything else.

 

One of my old pals is called "Chalke" on account of being a 6 foot black man. I have never heard him called anything else.

 

A friend from Uni is universally known as "Rav", which is short for Raver, because at school he was the person the least likely to ever go to a rave.

 

The husband of one of my friends is called "Skills", which presumably is a joke on his footballing prowess. Even his wife calls him Skills.

 

I've always been a little jealous of having a nickname like that.

[tiger_rick]

The best nicknames are the ones that completely replace a guys name to the point that only his parents call him anything else.

I know what you mean. My cousin's brother has one of those. I can't think what the hell it is right now but when you hear his wife call him it, it's doubly funny.

 

My brother is called "Sparrow" because when he was born, he had skinny legs. He's tried to distance himself from it over the years but to the family, he's still Sparrow.

 

My uncle is a skinny bloke, spitting image of Ian Rush, and married a big fat woman. She starting calling him "chunky" which he's now known as.

 

Another cousin went to school with a guy called Stewart Pidd. This one isn't inventive at all but his nickname was (obviously) "stupid".

 

All of my friends are known by their surname with a "y" stuck on the end. Boring.

[Dead Mike]

When I was at University I played for both a local pub's (which was primarily made up of students) and then the University's darts team. This was back in the late 90s when it was still in its infancy on Sky, but we all had our own Darting nicknames back then. I was 'the Grim Reaper' and other members of the team included 'the Doctor of Darts', 'the Grinding Assassin', 'the Surgeon', 'the Arrow', 'Wildman', a lad who tried to pattern himself after Phil Taylor even giving himself the nickname of 'the Power' but he was on the large side of things so that never stuck and we called him 'the Barrel' (much to his chagrin). One of my mates surnames was Quinn, so he became 'the Mighty', another lad's name was Phil so he was known as 'Albert' (after the Newcastle footballer), we also had 'the Rock' (he was from Ireland), 'Fozzy' (due to his resemblance of the bear), 'Flamboyant' Alan Farrell and my favourite nickname of the lot was for Steve Hosking who was christened 'Stone Cold'.

Good Arrows! I was, and still am, The DartBreak Kid.

 

A lad who used to work for me played darts, his surname's 'Pitt' & his nickname is 'The Arm'.

[cogitoergozoomo]

I have a mate who was putting salt on his chips and the top fell off and they got covered. Since then he has been known as Salty Chips or Salty for short. That was 15 years ago.

[Bus Surfer]

Naveed who was Indian was nicknamed "Prince" by our Physics teacher Mr. Probert. Probert had a big twonk and ridiculously large nostrils so everyone called him "Hoover" (Behind his back, obviously.)

 

He was a great man, he'd walk the aisles of his classroom practicing his Cricket shots with huge amounts of gusto. Ledge.