Inventive nicknames

[kickin it wit the kliq]

Used to work with a guy whose nose was essentially just nostrils, it was totally flat, He was known as The Sphinx

[insert_name_here]

Well given that my surname is Lumley i've inevitably been called Joanna at various points in my life. I used to get called Lummaz as well which i hated mainly because of the chavvy conotations it carries.

In high school i had a mullet which led to me being called Billy-Ray for a while, i wouldn't have minded if they'd gone with Cyrus but i was nowhere near cool enough for a nick-name of that magnitude, hell i wasn't even cool enough to be nicknamed Pat Sharp.

[Bellenda Carlisle]

Used to work with a guy whose nose was essentially just nostrils, it was totally flat, He was known as The Sphinx

 

I used to work with a guy with proper dead eyes, they were really big and poppy and half closed, we called him Garfield.

 

When I was in primary school (probably about 7 years old) I came up with some clever ones, I called Simon McWilliam "Simon the willy man" and there was a boy with a weird tall skinny forehead so I called him "Longhead". Genius I know.

[Teedy Kay]

As a Copper nicknames are still very much a part of ongoing life.

 

For some reason I'm called Noodles, but or the life of me can not remember why.

 

Some of my favourites are:

 

New recruit turns up, he's 5'6'' tall, so instantly he's labelled Laptop, as he's a small PC

 

A newer recruit turns up and is smaller than Laptop, naturally he's known as Netbook

 

There's a pasty, ginger jock fella who's called The Spaniard as he doesn't look remotely Spainish

 

One Sergeant who fucking reeks is labelled Onion Bags due to his odour

[freaky]

I've been nicknamed Pants for about twenty years now, the origins of how it came about are long forgotten it seems but there are people who know me solely as Pants and not by my actual name.

Likewise, there are people who've known me for 10 years that still call me Freaky and don't know my real name. My housemates used to throw my mail to one side or return it to the sender because they didn't recognise the name.

 

I think I mentioned this in another thread but there was this utter bellend when I was at school who insisted on being called Kit instead of Christopher. So we called him Kissyfur.

Choosing your own nickname never goes well.

[Dead Mike]

A mate of mine works with a bloke who's got a really long face, they've named him 'Cow Head', his younger brother recently started there too he's called 'Calf Head' as he's the smaller version. There's a bloke with really thick glasses who's called 'Shit eyes' because of his poor vision.

[Kata Ha Jime]

A mate of mine works with a bloke who's got a really long face, they've named him 'Cow Head', his younger brother recently started there too he's called 'Calf Head' as he's the smaller version. There's a bloke with really thick glasses who's called 'Shit eyes' because of his poor vision.

 

Well that made me chuckle.

 

One that's not brilliant but here it is. When I was younger living in Leicester (the glamour) my dad had a mate called Phil. Now, that's not unusual. This guy was built like a house and tattooed all over. Now my dad refered to him as "Fat uncle Phil" as did I. Now that name isn't really funny.

Cut to him balling out three blokes in his club (by club I mean there's shows etc not your youth clubs) and threatning that if they came back he'd kill them, pause as these lads consider what he's said and fall over each other trying to explain, when I walk up about the age of 5/6 and call him "Fat Uncle Phil". I wish I had my sense of humour back then that I do now as one of the blokes faces was mixed with shock and fear that I may be killed.

 

It's cool though, I got sweets for it.

[neil's bitch]

When i was at high school, a lad i got introduced to was called "Peewee". I never really thought to question why until the end of the 5 years at high school when i asked him: "Why do they call you Peewee?".He replied, "In year 7 sombody saw something on my trousers, thought i'd pee'd on myself, and called me 'Peewee Piss Stains' ".

 

I felt a bit bad i'd been calling him that for 5 years or so.

 

Other than that, we didnt have many nicknames growing up other than most normal "Surname" nicknames . When going on some really lame team building thing for work a few years ago, i was told to "Pick" a nickname for myself as part of the tasks etc. I told them i didnt really care what it was as long as it was clean. Hence i was called "Dettol" for about 2 years until i left that place.

 

My dad has loads of mates with crazy names. There is a bloke names TAPS (Thick As Pig Shit), Pluggy (And his younger brother "Socket") as well as the obvious names such as 'Baldy'. He also had a friend who i've only met a few times called "Jug Head", and i asked him why hes called this.....to which he told me he doenst know why. On top of that, he doesnt even know his real name, and has known him for several years.

[tiger_rick]

When I was at school, my nickname was "Otto". Group of us went to see Hull vs. Birmingham in the early 90's and Brum had a winger called Ricky Otto. My name is Ricky so at some point in the second half, someone started calling me "Otto". It just kinds stuck, like they do. When we left, we all signed each other's shirts, like you do. Mine is covered in comments like "All the best for the future, Otto", "Nice knowing you, Otto" and "You were shit at Rugby, Otto".

[Jaffa]

We had a girl at school who was called Wicket because whenever there was a ball flying in the air (and everyone shouted 'Heads'), it was guarenteed to hit her.

 

There was also an odd lad at college who was affectionately referred to as Trapdoor because he popped up everywhere. Saying that, I haven't seen him since I moved to London. I took my sister to see High School Musical 3 at the cinema at 2.30pm on a Sunday - Trapdoor was there, buying

[John Matrix]

When I was at school, my nickname was "Otto". Group of us went to see Hull vs. Birmingham in the early 90's and Brum had a winger called Ricky Otto. My name is Ricky so at some point in the second half, someone started calling me "Otto". It just kinds stuck, like they do. When we left, we all signed each other's shirts, like you do. Mine is covered in comments like "All the best for the future, Otto", "Nice knowing you, Otto" and "You were shit at Rugby, Otto".

 

Ah fond memories of Ricky Otto, an era where i used to go and watch POSH every week...when i could still get in as a junior for next to sod all.

 

I used to play football with a guy who was affectionately known between a select few as "Meds" on account of the fact he'd told several players that he didnt take his prescribed medication before games as it made him more aggressive.

 

Another of my former team-mates will forever be known as "Naitch" or "Warney" (depending on your persuasion) after returning from a year in Australia with leathery brown skin and sun bleached blonde hair.

 

Actually, Meds and Warney are both standing side by side in this picture...

 

[Wrasslin]

I have a friend who is an extremely accomplished violinist.

 

Needless to say we gave him the nick name "Fiddler" just so he has to explain it to every girl he talks to. Or if he's asked to babysit.

[Statto]

I've been trying to recall the truly excellent nicknames we had in the rugby club at uni and am struggling, which leads me to believe they weren't truly excellent (I remember the nicknames, just not necessarily why, or they just weren't that good).

 

I recall one lad was dubbed "Mumbles" for obvious reasons - it was only several weeks later we found out he was Austrian. He had a very English name.

 

We had a "Walford" as he resembled Martin Fowler.

 

"Uncle Fester" due to his massive size, bald head and pastiness. "Pugsley" followed the next year for a younger version.

 

One of the lads dislocated his little finger in his first training session with the club, and therefore became known as "Bowfinger".

 

A somewhat gobby chap from down London way became known as "MOTS", which was short for Mouth of the South, in an excellent Jimmy Hart reference. He's a top solicitor in a major London firm these days.

 

Similar to Butch's mate Cadfael, we had a tiny little scrum-half turn up who was prematurely balding, he became "Monk".

 

In my first semester there we had a visiting Japanese mature research student who was from the Kinki region, and therefore became known simply as "Kinki". When his wife visited one of the lads referred to her as "Mrs. Kinki", which led to him sternly explaining "I am Kinki, my wife is not."

 

Myself, I was "Yokel" due to my nearby origins. "Statto" is a nickname I acquired at Sixth Form, during the running of a sweepstake on the 1999 Rugby World Cup.

[Steve Justice]

My mates cat got hit by a car and had it's back legs replaced with metal one's. I called it Robocat.

[Magnum Milano]

When I was at University I played for both a local pub's (which was primarily made up of students) and then the University's darts team. This was back in the late 90s when it was still in its infancy on Sky, but we all had our own Darting nicknames back then. I was 'the Grim Reaper' and other members of the team included 'the Doctor of Darts', 'the Grinding Assassin', 'the Surgeon', 'the Arrow', 'Wildman', a lad who tried to pattern himself after Phil Taylor even giving himself the nickname of 'the Power' but he was on the large side of things so that never stuck and we called him 'the Barrel' (much to his chagrin). One of my mates surnames was Quinn, so he became 'the Mighty', another lad's name was Phil so he was known as 'Albert' (after the Newcastle footballer), we also had 'the Rock' (he was from Ireland), 'Fozzy' (due to his resemblance of the bear), 'Flamboyant' Alan Farrell and my favourite nickname of the lot was for Steve Hosking who was christened 'Stone Cold'.

 

Someone else mentioned they are known as 'Pants', which reminded me of someone that I knew who was known as that. He played for the University Cricket team, and our Uni's traditional initiation for the sports teams was to drop the freshers/new team members about two miles away from campus stripped of all their clothes bar their underwear and they had to make their way home; it was known as The Chilly Run. Anyway, one day it was his turn and he did the run which ended in the SU Bar, though transpired he was wearing some rather tight fitting underwear. This didn't go unnoticed, and one of his rather drunken housemates from Halls went up and just shouted 'Pants' in his face. Despite his efforts to lose it, the name stuck.