Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted November 2, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 2, 2011 I think I mentioned this in another thread but there was this utter bellend when I was at school who insisted on being called Kit instead of Christopher. So we called him Kissyfur. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Philo_Vance Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 My girlfriends family are friendly with a chap who is often referred to as 'Jaffa Cake'. For months i thought this was a snidey dig at his sexual prowess like most with the name  What's the link there?  'Seedless'.  It's from Only Fools and Horses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin Moo Posted November 2, 2011 Admin Share Posted November 2, 2011 Knew a rugby lad everyone called "Dog Shit" because he was all over the pitch, not sure how common a name that is (I assume quite) but I thought it was brilliant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaka Demus Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 A boy I used to work with was called Ding Dong, because he looked like Quasimodo from the Hunchback Of Notre dame Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members FLips Posted November 2, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 2, 2011 Wrong. Â Edit: Quick on the delete there, weren't you Chaka? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaka Demus Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Wrong. Edit: Quick on the delete there, weren't you Chaka?  I thought he was referring to why he was called the actual nickname "Jaffa Cake". Wasn't until I re-read I clocked on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Power Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 A kid I went to school with was called Billy Poo, on the account that his surname was Billups and he got pissed one Christmas, did a shit on his bedroom floor and stood in it the next morning. Alledgedly. Â Currently, I have two friends called Stoke and Arsenal. Arsenal because he can chat up many many women, but never actually manages to get the job done, and Stoke doesn't bother pissing about, he just fucks them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forrest Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I remember we once had a pal called Penis. The best thing was he once started going out with someone who was coincedentally nicknamed Smegma. I have no idea why they were called those names, but I introduced to them as such and they seemed to have deemed it a losing battle trying to fight it and it was fucking hilarious. Â I also know someone who was called Santa that I've known for years. He barely speaks to anyone who called him Santa and has grown up enough to call himself by his real name Gary. It really riles him up when we call him it now. Â Also in school, I was nicknamed by my maths teacher "Library Boy" because I once loaned a book from the library and was asked to fill out a small form saying what I thought about the book for a prize draw. It turns out I was the only person who entered and I was subsequently branded "Library boy" until the day I left school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Ronnie Posted November 2, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 2, 2011 When I lived in Toulouse I had quite a cosmopolitan entourage. After new year a few of us set off on a holiday to Spain. In our group was quite a dopey Italian chap called Marco. For whatever reason his time in Toulouse was up, so he had a final night with his girlfriend of two months' standing. He'd approached the issue of going to brown town with her early on but she shot him down. Â Anyway, he told us on this holiday that he'd was nailing her from behind on that last night when the thought hit him to try slipping it in the wrong'un mid-thrust, thinking that she'd acquiesce because she was caught in the moment. I'm laughing now at the thought of his vacant face, thinking of himself as some crafty Lothario! The time comes and he thinks he's being clever as he prods her. She irritatedly yelped "Qu-est ce que tu fais l Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members ReturnOfTheMack Posted November 2, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 2, 2011 Nothing to touch any of the ones above, but I know: Â Strange Dave (very strange fella my mum knows) Already Famous Albert (a pensioner who goes ot the clubs in Doncaster) Shelf (wanted a nickname, someone said Shelf and it stuck) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonny Vegas Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Not sure whether it fits the exact criteria you are looking for but probably my favourite nickname I've ever heard was for ex-Southampton defender Fitz Hall who's nickname was ''One Size'' as in ''One Size Fitz Hall'' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members martyngnr Posted November 2, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 2, 2011 I used to know a guy called Simon Tees. He didn't like the nickname "Strip" for some reason. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NBT Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I've been nicknamed Pants for about twenty years now, the origins of how it came about are long forgotten it seems but there are people who know me solely as Pants and not by my actual name. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members air_raid Posted November 2, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 2, 2011 I have a mate that when we were at uni, whenever the girls used to come over to our block he would make them a cup of tea and offer them a biscuit, so they started calling him Biscuit. Â Not especially inventive, but its amazing that ten years later, because people from "back home" caught on to uni people calling it him, they started too, and other people heard them etc, it's followed him around and now people that never knew him at uni or know why he's called Biscuit, call him Biscuit. Â In fact one or two have asked me if it's to do with "soggy biscuit" and I've lied and said yes. Strangely they never ask why all my uni tops are emblazoned with "Sick Boy." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lou Cyfer Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 I've been nicknamed Pants for about twenty years now, the origins of how it came about are long forgotten it seems but there are people who know me solely as Pants and not by my actual name. Â Â I used to know a guy called Pants, the story went. Â "What's your nickname?" "I don't have one." "well that's Pants isn't it?!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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