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UKFF TOP 50 Wrestlers ... EVER!


IANdrewDiceClay

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There you go, you twats. I really never have any intention for them to be anything other than a short bios, hence the lack of paragraphs. Using paragraphs is like admitting to myself I'm wasting to much time on this pointless shit. And you can fit more of them in each post by chopping the spaces away. I'll try harder next time :)

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30. The Rockers

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Prime Years: 1987-92

 

Info: The Midnight Rockers were a regular tandem, working for outlaw wrestling federations across the United States, doing a similar gimmick to what they would have later on in the WWF. Dressed like David Lee Roth, they were always going to be a popular act during the 80s hair metal era. Both Jannetty and Michaels were disliked by most who encountered then during the early years, especially in the AWA. Scott Hall gave Jannetty a pasting over a misunderstanding over using Hall's name to get a hotel room discount. Curt Hennig and Scott Hall, both took a liking to them after this, and the Rockers had a good stay in the AWA, winning the AWA tag titles. It was time to move on though, and The Rockers headed to the red hot WWF. The heat they earned from their party lifestyle, and tendency to not shake hands with the rest of the locker room carried over to the Rockers first stint in the WWF, where the dressing room tested them to see if their reputation lived up to the billing. They would end up fired from the WWF after only a short while because of their behavour.

 

It was only about 7 or 8 months later that the Rockers turned to the World Wrestling Federation. They kick started their stay in their new home with a blistering performance in the 20 man elimination tag team bout at the Survivor Series '88, which was a tease for the eventual Rockers vs Brain Busters programme. 9 times out of 10, the Rockers were usually on the wrong end of the decision in most of their WWF feuds. They were used as the team that could have a good match with anyone. Any the always did. The Brain Busters, Demolition, The Fabulous Rougeaus, The Orient Express, the Twin Towers, The Powers of Pain, The Nasty Boys all had cracking matches with Jannetty and Michaels. They were rewarded (or almost rewarded) with a WWF Tag Title victory in 1990, by defeating the Hart Foundation. Neidhart was set to get sacked after the match and Bret was to be a singles star. So speculation for years has been that Neidhart ripped the rope off on purpose so they would have to stop the match. Michaels and Hart even laugh about this probably being the case on the new DVD dedicated to the pair. Most of the finish was built around most of the men in the ring needing the ropes, so it all fell apart and the match wasn't aired.

 

The Rockers spent most of 1991 slipping down the card, with the Legion of Doom taking the Hart Foundations spot as the number one tag team, leaving the Rockers in their shadows. The final straw came when Jannetty and Michaels filmed a commerical for the new WWF Hasbros with the LOD, and Hawk and Animals individual pay was more than both Rockers put together. Jannetty began ringing around other promotions looking for a guarenteed price for their services, and WCW agreed to sign them. Jannetty ran Vince to ask for their release and McMahon agreed they could leave. Michaels upon finding out the actual figure WCW was willing to pay them, went back to Vince and told him Jannetty had it all wrong and neither wanted to leave. Real life tension followed, and the pair felt each had betrayed the other with their handling of the situation. Michaels ended up on the wrong end of a good kicking when he told Jannetty he wanted to fight him. Jannetty says their relationship died as soon as that happened. The Rockers split up on screen as well.

 

In a famous angle, which is still a favourite to loads of fans of that time period, Michaels and Jannetty (after some arguments in the ring) wanted "this straightened out, brother". They embraced on the Barber Shop, because only Brutus could sort this mess out. "Ladies and Gentlemen the Rockers ..." Bruti said. This show of brotherly love was followed by Sweet Chin Music on Jannetty. Michaels then picked up Marty by the mullet and rammed his head through the sugar glass of the Barber Shop window. And so was the end of the Rockers.

 

Marty Jannetty was fired about 40 times after that incident. Returning every now and again to wrestle Shawn Michaels and play the fool. He even reformed the Rockers, this time with Lief Cassedy (Al Snow). He even turned and teamed with Shawn again on an episode of Raw in 2005. Shawn Michaels won the World title 4 times, got in the Hall of Fame, formed DX, began probably the best performer of his generation and had blistering matches at WrestleMania every year. Marty still turns up every now and again though. Jannetty in his own right was a tremendous wrestler, and even though he didn't have HBK's singles career, he was every bit of the Rockers success as Shawn was.

 

Did he have shit on the market?: Although, WWF had others to pamper in the late 80s/early 90s, the Rockers were a popular team, and had one of the biggest stars in the promotions history in it, so they are always going to have the novelty factor for nostalgia based products.

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They Said: "Great tag team." "Best team of the 1980s". "Its probably the only chance to get Marty Jannetty on the list"

 

29. Dynamite Kid

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Prime Years: 1978-1986

 

Info: Bret Hart calls him "the greatest wrestler who ever lived", Billington has a good claim to say he reinvented the game. He's basically a super version of what everyone on the independent scene tries to be, but cant be. Fast as lightening, brutal, solid, inventive. His best matches still hold today. Snap suplex, diving headbutts running lariets and other variations of suplexes are regularly seen used by the latest person to take Dynamite Kid as their hero. He also had a strange charisma about him, where he couldn't string a sentence together, yet still looked like he was Joe Rock. He was spotted by Bruce Hart in the mid-70s, while working for Max Crabtree. From there he took a trip to Calgary, Canada, where he was a absolute star in the Stampede Wrestling promotion.

 

In Calgary, his most famous battles came against Bret Hart and Bad News Allen, including a match where Allen japped a broken bottle in the side of Dynamites head. Ladders matches, boxing matches, street fight, taped fist, the Stampede territory was a fast paced and exciting league in the late 70s/early 80s and Dynamite was usually the one leading the way. As well as Canada, he would make regular trips to New Japan Pro Wrestling. What everyone talks about, they they mention early 80s Junior Heavyweights is the matches Dynamite had with the first Tiger Mask. Tape trading enthusiasts were still buzzing about those matches in the 90s and people are still ripping off spots first seen in those bouts. While Dynamite was tearing up the globe with his new brand of wrestling, his cousin Davey Boy Smith made the trip over to Calgary. Although they had teamed (and feuded) before, it was in the World Wrestling Federation when they were established as the hottest team in the business.

 

When old Stu Hart sold up to Vince McMahon in 1984, Dynamite Kid and Davey Boy started work in the WWF, during the hottest period in the promotions history. Under the guidance of Captain Lou Albano and their trusty pet Matilda, the British Bulldogs were by far the top team in the promotion. Tag team wrestlers was as good as it ever was, and probably ever will be during this period. But the Bulldogs were a special pair. They had a fucking excellent match with the Dream Team of Greg Valentine and Brutus Beefcake at WrestleMania II. It was during the Bulldogs long reign as tag champions, Dynamite suffered a devasting back injury in a house show match with Don Muraco and Cowboy Orton. Dynamite was in hospital for weeks, but dragged himself out of bed to participate in an angle where the Bulldogs would drop their belts to the Hart Foundation. Dynamite would return, but it wasn't the same man as previously. He did his part in tag bouts, but the Bulldogs were never the same. Dynamite and Davey headed for All Japan. Vince did try to get Dynamite to return when he met him in a locker room in Japan. Vince asked "when are you coming back to work Tom?" and Dynamite said "try fookin' never" as Vince boomed with laughter. Billington, even took up the booking position in Stampede, before that died again. He would end up doing small hall shows back in England before his final retirement in 1996.

 

It was the 1990s when it all fell apart for Dynamite. He divorced his wife, he held a grudge against his cousin and former partner Davey Boy Smith for years, his Sky got cut off and his health deteriorated to the point where he is in a wheel chair for the rest of his life. His legacy in wrestling is unclear. He's the poster boy for what nobody wants to see happen to a wrestler. He did all the drugs, did all the dangerous stunts, ended up crippled and in financial ruin. He was also a complete cunt away from wrestling, making his fellow wrestlers and his wifes life a misery. Terry Taylor and Outback Jack were just two that were constantly bullied by Dynamite on a daily basis. The stories of him paint a horrible picture of a rotten human being. These days though, he's reunited with his daughter, got in contact with his cousins son Harry and seems to be in a good place. In the ring, he was fucking great, though.

 

Did he have shit on the market?: There's enough Dynamite stuff about to keep you entertainied. The Bulldogs were a top babyface team, so they got their fair share. These days, his autobiography is still available and you can buy his figures. There's supposedly a shoot interview coming out soon as well.

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They Said: "A fantastic worker back in the day and a true innovator. Intense as fuck and spectacular in the ring. Really doesn't get the recognition he deserves. Probably cause he was a total cock, mind.", "Always loved what the man did in the ring, can't think of a match I didn't love from this nutcase."

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I pissed myself when I scrolled down the page after reading the Rockers write-up and saw that photo of Dynamite. Of all the pictures you could have used Ian!!

 

Would love to own that Wrestling Superstars British Bulldogs figure set.

 

Cracking effort so far Ian, and I really am enjoying the paragraphs.

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28. Brian Pillman

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Prime Years: 1986-1996

 

Info: The "Loose Cannon" started in the Bruce Hart booked Stampede Wrestling promotion, after remaining in Canada following a stint in the Canadian Football League. It was with Sexy Bruce, that Pillman would form the team Bad Company, and bring home the Stampede Wrestling International Tag Team titles. As with every Bruce Hart team, Pillman would usually do all the work, and Bruce would come in and do the big Hulk Hogan comeback. Promoters the world over weren't stupid though. Pillman was the obvious talent in the promotion, still stacked with top wrestlers. Pillman set upon the NWA back in his home country of the United States and left an impression on the scene at the time. Flyin' Brian was an original, as far as US based wrestlers went. He mixed his technical skills with a excellent arial based assault, much like Dynamite and the Rockers did. He teamed with the Z-Man Tom Zenk, in a team they might as well have called "These Lads Must Get Some Fanny" and won the NWA United States Tag Team belts. Although, he was comfortable with singles actions (having top bouts with Baz Windham and Brad Armstrong and his theme song), its probably his tag team with Steve Austin that will be remembered, as far as his contributions in the ring go.

 

With their matching outfits, hand gestures and facial expressions which made them look like they were having a whale of a time, the Hollywood Blonds were considered by the magazines and newsletters as being the tag team of the 90s up until that period. Everyone rated them as future stars. Nobody rated the Blonds more than Austin and Pillman, who loved the roll they were playing and were allowed a lot of input into it. Pillman and Austin swept aside Rick Steamboat and Shane Douglas on the wonderful WCW POWER HOUR~ to lift the World Tag Team titles. Life all good tag teams, they had a hand gimmick. They would roll their right hand and act as if they were holding early 20th century video camera with their left hand. Once or twice, they even had flasher airbubbles in their boots. Which is shocking that nobody has ripped that off since. The pair had a belter with Arn Anderson and Ric Flair as well, after Austin and Pillman's famous Flare For The Old parody, where Pillman wore a robe, grey wig, old person specs, walking stick and took the piss out of Flair's age. After the inevitable Blonds split, Pillman went back into singles ranks. He formed a new version of the Four Horseman, with Ric Flair, Arn Anderson and Chris Benoit. He actually wrestled the first match on the first Monday Nitro, when he took on Jushin Liger, is a cracking bout to kick off the new era of no squash matches. But its all forgotten about when it comes to what he did next.

 

With the help of Eric Bischoff and Kevin Sullivan, Pillman developed his "Loose Cannon" persona, where most of the business thought he'd lost his marbles. Spitting on cameras, spitting on wrestlers, acting out of the ordinary during promos, it was a change of pace for the Loch Ness' and the Booty Men that were knocking about WCW at the time. He even began looking different. He'd stopped shaving, his hair was a mess, he began wearing jeans, leather studded waistcoats and ripped t-shirts. He looked the part and acted accordingly as well. Bobby Heenan believed the hype, when Pillman put his hands on his neck and Heenan jumped out of his seat during a live broadcast asking "what the fuck are you doing?". To "work the marks" a bit more, the WCW booker Kevin Sullivan (not in his Taskmaster character) wrestled Pillman at the time in a Respect Strap Match, where the winner has to say they respected the other man. The match didn't last to long, before Pillman grabbed the mic and said "I respect you Booker Man". Pillman was fired by WCW after the match to continue the angle, and make it seem like he was REALLY off his trolley and he couldnt stay with the promotion. Pillman showed up in ECW, because WCW and ECW would NEVER work together, would they? In such a setting, Pillman seemed even more off his tits. His eyes were wilder, his language was more brutal, the angles were more crazy. His stay in ECW, was short but memorable. He even visted his old friends in Atlanta, but popping up in the crowd every now and again, holding signs plugging his hotline number.

 

While out of work, he began negotiating with WWF, who offered him guarenteed money, in a deal he probably wouldnt have dreamed of getting 18 months previously. But, before he even signed a contract with the group, he ran into a bit of bother, when he fell asleep at the wheel of his Hummer and smashing into a tree. His ankle was destroyed. WWF signed lived up to their agreement and signed him, but in the ring he never recovered. Flyin' Brian was gone. He hardly wrestled after this. When he made his return in mid-1997, he never lasted long. He kept us entertained though. His verbal skills were still as sharp as ever. He made his onscreen debut at the King of the Ring 96, cutting a typical wide eyed promo on the WWF. He tried palling up to Steve Austin again, but Pillman's fondness for Bret Hart put an end to that one. Austin put him out of action, but wrapping a chair around his ankle and jumping from the middle rope onto it. Austin still wasn't done with Pillman though, threatening to pay him a "house call". What followed was a over the top, insane angle where Austin beat up Pillmans mates outside, broke into his house and Pillman was waiting for him with a gun pointed at him. The USA Network went potty over it, threatening to throw them off the air for good if they tried something like it again. It was a massive change of pace for what WWF was known for.

 

In what became a running theme, Pillman again went missing. He returned again, attacking Austin and forming the New Hart Foundation along with longtime friends Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Davey Boy Smith and Jim Neidhart. Cheers were heard from Pillman for the first time in years at the brilliant Canadian Stampede event. It was Pillman's last great moment. The Harts came out on top, and Pillman for one night, surrounded by aload of smoke and mirrors and distractions seemed to be his oldself again. After the match, Pillman and Goldust decided to take issue with each other. It wasn't anything groundbreaking. Pillman lost the first match and had to wear a dress. The second match, Pillman promised to leave the WWF if he lost and wanted Goldust to allow Flyin' Brian to smash his wifes pasty for 30 days if he won. Terri Runnels accepted the match on Goldie's behalf. Of course this being wrestling, the heel won. Pillman never even showed up for Raw in the coming weeks. Why would he? I wouldn't leave the house either. Instead he prefered to post videos of himself documenting the whole sordid ordeal. It was more Carry On Up The Khyber, than anything else. We never saw it going in, unfortunately. This was going to end up being a set up all along, and Terri and Brian were going to be the Attitude Era's version of Grant and Sharon, but Pillman was found dead in his hotel room the day of Badd Blood 97.

 

In short, Pillman's shit still holds up to this day. I've seen his angles millions of times since 95/96, and they never get boring. His delivery is fucking great. Probably due to his size and injuries, he would never have done anything close to what Austin did if he was still around for 1998. But due to his friendship with Austin, you have to think he wouldn't have ran into any politics in the WWF as far as him being pushed. And if WWF was as much as a living hell for him as people said it was, his friendship with Bischoff or even his friendship with Heyman would make for him never being in a situation where he was buried by the power players. Shame we never found out how he'd have faired in the big boom period.

 

Did he have shit on the market?: His best years came during a period where promoters weren't desperate to get Brian Pillman stuff on the market. Most of his stuff was released after he died.

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They Said: "Compelling character", "Would have been huge if he didn't die", "one of the best characters ever."

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Brilliant. I love Pillman, one of my all time favourites and I think his WWE DVD is one of the best performer DVDs they have ever done.

 

Glad to see you mention his Goldust feud as well because I think that one gets forgotten about. It was a cracking little feud and Pillman's XXX Files was fucking awesome:-

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qh4nO_PLa84

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I'm not as sad as my post count suggests. I have things to do in this wonderful town of Sunderland. Sometimes, life and pot noddles get in the way of this lovely list of 60% living wrestlers. I'm sure I'll be finished by at least March. Anyway, here's the moment you've been waiting for ...

 

27. Brutus Beefcake

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Prime Years: 1985-1991

Info: The man who has had more names that anyone in wrestling history, started off as Ed Boulder. His main job was to drive Hulk Hogan around from town to town and say "Daddy" after every word when working the Memphis territory. But obviously, he really rose to prominence when he made it to New York. It was there, where he was given the name Brutus Beefcake, inspired by a gay magazine Pat Patterson would read. Because in the early days, he wasn't really very good, they put him with Lucious Johnny V and Greg Valentine and let the Hammer do the wrestling and Johnny Valiant do the talking. It worked a treat as well. The Dream Team, as they were known, were a top tag team of the era, holding the tag team titles for about a few months. They dropped the belts in the best match either WrestleMania events against the British Bulldogs. They didn't really recover from the tag team loss, and a year later, Beefcake and Valentine split, after the pair had a falling out following a win against the Rougeau Brothers at WrestleMania III. Later on in the card, we would see Brutus again. Only this time, he had SCISSORS with him, and was chopping the golden locks of Adrian Adonis after his match with Roddy Piper.

 

Brutus charged the game up all together. His outfits were more colourful, he began bringing hedge clippers to the ring with him, with candy stripe around the handles. After matches he began clipping away at jobbers hair or spraying their barnet a different colour to shit them up. The act was over huge in the late 80s. His feud with the Honkey Tonk Man was one of the few highlights or a rotten WrestleMania 4 show. Brutus was Mr. WrestleMania in those early years. Every year was a good laugh when you saw Bruti on the card. He failed in his attempt to gain possession of the IC title that year, but did manage to cut the mullet of Jimmy Hart. He was scheduled for a rematch at SummerSlam 88, but Ron Bass used Miss Betsey on Brutus' forehead, in a rare blade job on TV in the era. The pair had a famous match on Saturday Nights Main Event, where the Outlaws head was shaved completely bald. Far more famous than that was Brutus' main event run, along with Hulk Hogan to take on The Human Wrecking Machine Zeus and Randy Savage at SummerSlam 89. Still the highest buyrate for any SummerSlam, the feud was typically brilliant 1989 WWF TV. Beefcake and Hogan were brothers in arms going against the big nasty heels. The match itself was a cracker as well. The crowd reaction to the showdown between Hogan and Zeus was something else. Not to be outdone, Brutus got his garden clippers out at the end of the match and chopped off the Sensational Sherri's stuck on ponytail to a thunderous response. Continuing his WrestleMania moments Beefcake pinned Mr. Perfect to end his undefeated run at WrestleMania VI the following year.

 

Beefcake was set to win the Intercontinental title soon after, but parasailing accident ended that hope. He needed 100 metal plates to surgically repair his face after the accident. They even did a little sit down interview with him where he said GOD AND THE HULKSTER got him through it. He returned to TV, as The Man Without a Face, attacking people from behind. The WWF said "fuck it" and he went back to the Barber gimmick soon after. He began interviewing people on an interview segment called the Barber Shop, while he was recovering. It was all going well, until Sid Justice smashed the set up. Beefcake's last thing of note in the WWF was teaming with the Hulkster again, at WrestleMania IX. After a great angle, where Vince McMahon, the fans at ringside and even Jimmy Hart were begging Money Inc. not to smash Brutus face in with the briefcase (and did anyway), Jimmy Hart and Brutus called on the help from an old friend. God wouldn't wrestle on PPV for another decade in the WWE, so it was left up to Hogan to do him a favour. Beefcake added a metal red and yellow mask to his outfit to protect his ugly mush. The Mega Maniacs failed in their quest to take the belts home.

 

Hulk, Jimmy, the Nasty Boys, Hacksaw Duggan, Brutus and Team Hogan in general left the WWF in 1993. All would show up in WCW. Beefcake showed up countless times under different gimmicks. First off, as Brother Bruti, who knocked about with Hogan and then turned on his at Halloween Havoc 94. Then as the Butcher, who main evented Starrcade 94 with Hogan. Then as the Dungeon of Doom's Man of Yin and Yang, Zodiac. Then as the Booty Man, along with The Booty Babe, Kimberly Page. Who you knew he had to have fucked. Then he joined the nWo as The Disciple. Sporting long hair and a big beard and biker gear, he did nothing and said nothing. Then he turned on Hogan and paired up with the Ultimate Warrior in the One Warrior Nation stable of two. Then that was about it for Brutus. He began calling himself Ed Leslie and worked a Thunder main event with Hogan and was released from his contract.

 

Brutus still pops up occassionally. He is a regular on the indy circuit, he was the star of Hulk Hogan's Championship Wrestling, because of how much of a mentalist he is in real life. He cheated on his wife with Nikki Ziering and admitted it live on radio while having cornflakes at the table with his wife and kids in ear shot. Some of us haven't given up hope he'll appear on Impact eventually. Fingers crossed. So in short, fuck you and your granny. Bruti was over more than most. And he owns the name "Brutus Beefcake". He fought the WWE in their own game of lawsuit war and put them out in a sleeper hold. He over came the odds and won. If Koko's in the Hall of Fame, we are bound to see Brutus one day.

 

Did he have shit on the market?: He did. He was a big star of his era.

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They Said? "One my favs as a child. Even had his figure with the scissors"

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