John Morrison News

[niff]

WWE are stupid for not pushing him as much they could be doing. He's more than capable and there's no doubt that he can't be as goofy or athletic as HBK. Did no one watch the Dirt Sheet? They'd sooner push the ones with no talent except for brown nosing.

[King Pitcos]

WWE are stupid for not pushing him as much they could be doing.

He's a midcarder. They'd be silly to push him beyond that until he sorts himself out.

 

He's more than capable

Of what?

 

and there's no doubt that he can't be as goofy or athletic as HBK.

Goofy? What? And Billy Gunn and Shelton Benjamin were the best pure athletes in WWE, how many world titles have they got between 'em? How good an athlete someone is means fuck all by itself.

 

Did no one watch the Dirt Sheet?

Yeah, then 2009 happened and people stopped being able to even pretend Morrison could express a personality. I had more charisma reading out a textbook on the unification of Germany at school than Morrison's ever shown in his best promo. And I've got a fucking Brummie accent, which is the least charismatic of all accents.

 

They'd sooner push the ones with no talent except for brown nosing.

Like who?

[BiffingtonClyro]

WWE are stupid for not pushing him as much they could be doing. He's more than capable and there's no doubt that he can't be as goofy or athletic as HBK. Did no one watch the Dirt Sheet? They'd sooner push the ones with no talent except for brown nosing.

 

I fucking hate when people say shit like this. How the fuck do you know they only push people that "brown nose?" Are you employed by WWE? Or have you been reading far too many bullshit newz sites? John Morrison is fucking atrocious on the mic, utterly atrocious. He should be nowhere near the main event scene.

[Killjoy_Gee]

Good looking lad, bags of athletic ability, and fuck all else.

 

Here's an idea.

 

Okay, Brodus Clay has been knocking around, doing squashes to establish himself as a monster, and seemingly to get enough footage for his video reel.

 

Bring him in for a random match with Morrison, and have him dominate - then, mid match, Morrison is mouthing off at him for a heel move he did, and Brodus calmly reaches his big paw into Johnny's mouth, and yanks out his tongue. Morrison collapses to the ground, pouring blood from his mouth - the referee, announcers, etc. are all stunned into near silence, as Brodus looks at the tongue quizzically, then walks out of the ring to the back.

 

Next week, there is an update on Morrison's condition - he is shown, bandaged up, in hospital. In a kayfabe break, Melina (rehired) is there - she is crying, and the doctor is telling her that John will never speak again, and is going to be out of commission for months. Morrison is sedated the whole time. Meanwhile, Brodus has a match, and the heels and faces all look at him in fear and awe, as he goes to the ring and decimates... I dunno, JTG?

 

The next week, Brodus comes to the ring, and the commentators are disgusted - he has Morrison's tongue on a chain around his neck. He takes the mic, and informs the WWE Universe that this is what happens if you get in Brodus' face. He destroys another jobber, and then, with a sadistic smile on his face, drags him away to the back, to his beat up old truck, ties a chain around his ankles as the jobber comes to, and drives away, with screams echoing in the truck.

 

The week after, we receive another Morrison update - he is out of hospital, but is still weak - Melina is taking care of him, hooking up his IV and trying to cheer him up. Brodus has another match, but the jobber facing him bails out of the ring and exits through the crowd - Brodus says that it's okay, he has something better for us - he demands that the sound truck debut his new theme - screams echo throughout the arena, as Brodus announces that it was a special recording session after RAW last week.

 

Over the next few weeks, it becomes clear that Morrison has lost something more than just his tongue, as we see him training, and fucking up all of his Parkour crap. Meanwhile, Brodus is going from strength to strength, decimating his opponents, although being disqualified in an intercontinental title bid for excessive brutality, for just out and out leaping up and down on Cody Rhodes without trying for a pin.

 

After a couple of months, Morrison is totally demoralized, and Melina is unable to cheer him up - he writes a note, stating that he quits, and can't come back. He rings his bell for Melina, but there is no answer. Outside, lightning crashes. Unable to articulate himself, he rings again, and walks into the hallway. The front door is open, screen door banging in the storm raging outside. Silhouetted in the doorway is big, bad, Brodus Clay. His truck is outside, engine idling, and in his hand is the purse Melina had earlier. He rampages in, and clobbers Morrison - standing over the mute superstar, he informs him that he wants a fit, strong little Morrison at the next PPV for an unsanctioned fight, where he'll take everything Morrison has left, and then he won't be such a pretty boy. The cameraman follows Brodus to his truck, and just before Brodus slams the door, he sees a trussed and bound Melina in the back. Brodus turns, wrench in hand, and knocks the cameraman to the ground. The camera, shattered lens still filming, catches Brodus driving away.

 

At the PPV, Brodus stands in the ring - the announcers discuss how no-one has heard from Morrison for the last three weeks, and Brodus takes the mic. He announces that since Morrison doesn't think enough of Melina to be there, Melina is now his. He grabs a cameraman, and demands that he show the footage he gave to the production guys earlier. They roll it - Melina is tied, in underwear, to a bed - Brodus is telling her that Morrison is gone now, and she's his. He's going to go to the PPV, win by default, and then she'll find out what fear is really about. Then he leaves, and the movie cuts off.

 

Suddenly, Morrison runs through the crowd, in street clothes, and assaults Brodus with a lead pipe. They go back and forth, and Morrison reveals that he has rediscovered his Parkour abilities in adversity - after a ferocious brawl, Morrison is able to down the monster, and picks up the win. However, he then hauls Brodus to his feet, and embraces the beast. Brodus then demands that the cameraman play the rest of the footage - the guy shooting Brodus' movie puts down the camera - it's Morrison. He walks over to Melina, pulls off her blindfold, and looks her in the face. She is elated, and cries in happiness. He pulls down her gag, and she tells him she knew he'd come for her. Just then, Brodus returns, and puts his arm around Morrison's shoulder. Melina looks confused. Brodus hands Morrison his tongue, and Morrison takes it and puts it in Melina's mouth, silencing her horrible fucking screams. He replaces the gag, turns off the light, and locks the door.

 

Back at the PPV, Brodus announces to the stunned crowd that Morrison has a note he wants Clay to read - Morrison thanks Brodus for freeing him of everything that was holding him back, and that he was too weak to deal with. With no lead weight, no need to speak, and no inhibitions, there is nothing stopping them.

 

From that point on, it could be revealed that Melina had signed a confession (under duress, but who knows) that she was well up for it with Brodus, and that they were just funning around. Morrison could be off the hook because Cena or Punk rescued her, and she doesn't want to put Morrison away, but rather redeem him. Further down the road, if Morrison ever learned a lick of real charisma, he could benefit from a pioneering tongue surgery, or something.

 

I dunno, too strong for WWE?

 

Love it. Really. Best Storyline. EVER

[Halitosis Romantic]

Oh aye, I'm fucking magic I am. Yet, email that to Stephanie McMahon (stephanie@macmahon.com), and you get nothing but barred from Connecticut.