What Is The Biggest Lie You've Ever Been Told

[FLips]

The one which hurt the most to me was when my best friend told me the girl I was crazy about fancied me. I was about 15 and she was well out of my league, but like a sap I went for it. I got horribly shot down and humilated in front of all her friends. I went straight round to my friends locker and intended to slap seven shades of piss out of him. Told him what happened and he became a hero to his cooler friends. When I clenched my fist immediately this guy turned and ran and all the cooler friends told me it was my fault for not getting the joke. Fucking pricks.

 

Something similar to that happened to me, only with a bit of a better outcome.

 

I was in college and there was this lass I proper fancied, and even though she kind of acted like it back, I didn't have the balls to do anything. Anyway, my mate James told me one day that she definitely fancied me, but this other lass also had a bit of a thing for me too. The other lass was nice enough, but after fancying the first lass for so long I decided to pursue that.

 

One lunch break a day or so later, the two lasses got into a massive fight in the school yard and they had to be pulled apart. It turns out somehow they had both found out the other one liked me, and decided to fight it out over my affection. Naturally, after it all calmed down I tried my luck with the first lass and it turns out she hadn't told my mate anything, but did infact fancy me.

 

Anyway, I asked her out and she said yeah. We decided to just watch a film at her house and keep the first date pretty easy. Cut to a few days later and I'm at her house watching a film and that other lass starts banging at the front door. Obviously we thought shit was about to kick off pretty bad so we ignored it, but stupidly the lass' mum let her in.

 

So we were sat in the bedroom when this other lass just burst through the door and right then and there pounced on this other lass. They started rolling around, proper catfight style and ripping each other's clothes off. They got round down to their underwear and noticed me sat on the bed. The took my clothes off and the three of us started going at it. 2 hours later and I was just about to shoot my load in their faces, when the mum burst through the door to offer us drinks.

 

We obviously all started bricking it and the mum kicked the other lass out and told her daughter to go downstairs and wait for her. Then the mum who was a proper milf stripped off and started giving me a blowie. Anyway, I spunked all over her tits and she tells me I was the best she's ever had. I put my clothes back on and went home.

 

This is now the biggest lie you've ever been told.

[Surf Digby]

Greatest post ever.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[PepperPlunge]

That was worth it.

[PepperPlunge]

For some strange reason, people don't tend to tell whopping lies to me. The following story is probably the reason. I left a grammar school one year into my A-Levels as I felt it wasn't the way for me to go and that September I started a National Diploma at the local technical college. Anyway there was this guy whom I got to know during sixth form whom in my first few days at the tech told me at the bus depot whilst I was walking on that he was also leaving school to do the same course as me, and said that I would see him there later in the day. He was taking the piss though. The next morning I got off the bus, the guy had his back turned to me talking to someone else and I decided there and then to give him probably the biggest boot up the hole that I've ever given anyone with the toe pointing right up. No retaliation from him or any of his clique, he just got the message. That is, I don't like liars. I don't mind practical jokes, but I loathe liars. If you're going to be a compulsive liar, it's best not to be around me often.

 

The worst one I've heard and seen myself was living in halls at university where one of the men there bragged about this one night stand and how he even managed to do this woman up the arse. The day after he found out that this woman was born male and had a sex change operation about 18 months previously!

 

I noticed a couple of other people picked up on it and I forgot to mention that he sounds like he's talking absolute bollocks there. It's a completely over the top reaction to such a little lie - why would the other guy not react? And why would everyone know you'd done that and treat you with caution? Unless you tell everyone about it which is stupid.

 

But yeah, well done. You showed them who's boss (in your fantasies).

[tom]

The one which hurt the most to me was when my best friend told me the girl I was crazy about fancied me. I was about 15 and she was well out of my league, but like a sap I went for it. I got horribly shot down and humilated in front of all her friends. I went straight round to my friends locker and intended to slap seven shades of piss out of him. Told him what happened and he became a hero to his cooler friends. When I clenched my fist immediately this guy turned and ran and all the cooler friends told me it was my fault for not getting the joke. Fucking pricks.

 

Something similar to that happened to me, only with a bit of a better outcome.

 

I was in college and there was this lass I proper fancied, and even though she kind of acted like it back, I didn't have the balls to do anything. Anyway, my mate James told me one day that she definitely fancied me, but this other lass also had a bit of a thing for me too. The other lass was nice enough, but after fancying the first lass for so long I decided to pursue that.

 

One lunch break a day or so later, the two lasses got into a massive fight in the school yard and they had to be pulled apart. It turns out somehow they had both found out the other one liked me, and decided to fight it out over my affection. Naturally, after it all calmed down I tried my luck with the first lass and it turns out she hadn't told my mate anything, but did infact fancy me.

 

Anyway, I asked her out and she said yeah. We decided to just watch a film at her house and keep the first date pretty easy. Cut to a few days later and I'm at her house watching a film and that other lass starts banging at the front door. Obviously we thought shit was about to kick off pretty bad so we ignored it, but stupidly the lass' mum let her in.

 

So we were sat in the bedroom when this other lass just burst through the door and right then and there pounced on this other lass. They started rolling around, proper catfight style and ripping each other's clothes off. They got round down to their underwear and noticed me sat on the bed. The took my clothes off and the three of us started going at it. 2 hours later and I was just about to shoot my load in their faces, when the mum burst through the door to offer us drinks.

 

We obviously all started bricking it and the mum kicked the other lass out and told her daughter to go downstairs and wait for her. Then the mum who was a proper milf stripped off and started giving me a blowie. Anyway, I spunked all over her tits and she tells me I was the best she's ever had. I put my clothes back on and went home.

 

This is now the biggest lie you've ever been told.

I fucking love you. To paraphrase Wozyeck, just close the internet down right now, it's all down hill from this point

[spotlightmagnet1]

The one which hurt the most to me was when my best friend told me the girl I was crazy about fancied me. I was about 15 and she was well out of my league, but like a sap I went for it. I got horribly shot down and humilated in front of all her friends. I went straight round to my friends locker and intended to slap seven shades of piss out of him. Told him what happened and he became a hero to his cooler friends. When I clenched my fist immediately this guy turned and ran and all the cooler friends told me it was my fault for not getting the joke. Fucking pricks.

 

Something similar to that happened to me, only with a bit of a better outcome.

 

I was in college and there was this lass I proper fancied, and even though she kind of acted like it back, I didn't have the balls to do anything. Anyway, my mate James told me one day that she definitely fancied me, but this other lass also had a bit of a thing for me too. The other lass was nice enough, but after fancying the first lass for so long I decided to pursue that.

 

One lunch break a day or so later, the two lasses got into a massive fight in the school yard and they had to be pulled apart. It turns out somehow they had both found out the other one liked me, and decided to fight it out over my affection. Naturally, after it all calmed down I tried my luck with the first lass and it turns out she hadn't told my mate anything, but did infact fancy me.

 

Anyway, I asked her out and she said yeah. We decided to just watch a film at her house and keep the first date pretty easy. Cut to a few days later and I'm at her house watching a film and that other lass starts banging at the front door. Obviously we thought shit was about to kick off pretty bad so we ignored it, but stupidly the lass' mum let her in.

 

So we were sat in the bedroom when this other lass just burst through the door and right then and there pounced on this other lass. They started rolling around, proper catfight style and ripping each other's clothes off. They got round down to their underwear and noticed me sat on the bed. The took my clothes off and the three of us started going at it. 2 hours later and I was just about to shoot my load in their faces, when the mum burst through the door to offer us drinks.

 

We obviously all started bricking it and the mum kicked the other lass out and told her daughter to go downstairs and wait for her. Then the mum who was a proper milf stripped off and started giving me a blowie. Anyway, I spunked all over her tits and she tells me I was the best she's ever had. I put my clothes back on and went home.

 

This is now the biggest lie you've ever been told.

 

Well, it is genius, but aren't you mocking my pain?

 

Ah fuck it, well played.

[mikey]

My granddad told us he had heart trouble and bad asthma. As a result, the doctor ordered him onto a strict diet and he successfully lost a lot of weight. However, the asthma didn't get better. In fact, he was dying of emphysema. The rapid weight loss was because the disease had progressed and in hindsight, he'd know for four years because he'd started smoking again. I guess we didn't want to see it but he actively deceived us throughout, keeping us away from doctors in a subtle way.

 

I also had a friend who was known at school as the "Queen of the Phantom Pregnancy". If she'd miscarried that many babies, she wouldn't have two kids now.

[Glen Quagmire]

For some strange reason, people don't tend to tell whopping lies to me. The following story is probably the reason. I left a grammar school one year into my A-Levels as I felt it wasn't the way for me to go and that September I started a National Diploma at the local technical college. Anyway there was this guy whom I got to know during sixth form whom in my first few days at the tech told me at the bus depot whilst I was walking on that he was also leaving school to do the same course as me, and said that I would see him there later in the day. He was taking the piss though. The next morning I got off the bus, the guy had his back turned to me talking to someone else and I decided there and then to give him probably the biggest boot up the hole that I've ever given anyone with the toe pointing right up. No retaliation from him or any of his clique, he just got the message. That is, I don't like liars. I don't mind practical jokes, but I loathe liars. If you're going to be a compulsive liar, it's best not to be around me often.

 

The worst one I've heard and seen myself was living in halls at university where one of the men there bragged about this one night stand and how he even managed to do this woman up the arse. The day after he found out that this woman was born male and had a sex change operation about 18 months previously!

 

I noticed a couple of other people picked up on it and I forgot to mention that he sounds like he's talking absolute bollocks there. It's a completely over the top reaction to such a little lie - why would the other guy not react? And why would everyone know you'd done that and treat you with caution? Unless you tell everyone about it which is stupid.

 

But yeah, well done. You showed them who's boss (in your fantasies).

You can choose not to believe it if you want, but it happened. If the story seems strange, then it has to go a little deeper - during my childhood years I was bullied a fair bit (being a bit overweight and wearing glasses didn't help) and this extended to my short time doing A-Levels where I met some of the biggest cunts ever. Generally I'm a fairly mild mannered lad who doesn't like to get involved in trouble, but the "Boot up his hole" episode was about finally fucking time I stood up for myself for once. And it worked. Bullies prey on those who won't be prepared to fight back. I made my point and left it there. That's why when I seen the viral video earlier this year of the Zangief Kid aka Casey the Punisher, I marked the fuck out.

[Halitosis Romantic]

The one which hurt the most to me was when my best friend told me the girl I was crazy about fancied me. I was about 15 and she was well out of my league, but like a sap I went for it. I got horribly shot down and humilated in front of all her friends. I went straight round to my friends locker and intended to slap seven shades of piss out of him. Told him what happened and he became a hero to his cooler friends. When I clenched my fist immediately this guy turned and ran and all the cooler friends told me it was my fault for not getting the joke. Fucking pricks.

 

Something similar to that happened to me, only with a bit of a better outcome.

 

I was in college and there was this lass I proper fancied, and even though she kind of acted like it back, I didn't have the balls to do anything. Anyway, my mate James told me one day that she definitely fancied me, but this other lass also had a bit of a thing for me too. The other lass was nice enough, but after fancying the first lass for so long I decided to pursue that.

 

One lunch break a day or so later, the two lasses got into a massive fight in the school yard and they had to be pulled apart. It turns out somehow they had both found out the other one liked me, and decided to fight it out over my affection. Naturally, after it all calmed down I tried my luck with the first lass and it turns out she hadn't told my mate anything, but did infact fancy me.

 

Anyway, I asked her out and she said yeah. We decided to just watch a film at her house and keep the first date pretty easy. Cut to a few days later and I'm at her house watching a film and that other lass starts banging at the front door. Obviously we thought shit was about to kick off pretty bad so we ignored it, but stupidly the lass' mum let her in.

 

So we were sat in the bedroom when this other lass just burst through the door and right then and there pounced on this other lass. They started rolling around, proper catfight style and ripping each other's clothes off. They got round down to their underwear and noticed me sat on the bed. The took my clothes off and the three of us started going at it. 2 hours later and I was just about to shoot my load in their faces, when the mum burst through the door to offer us drinks.

 

We obviously all started bricking it and the mum kicked the other lass out and told her daughter to go downstairs and wait for her. Then the mum who was a proper milf stripped off and started giving me a blowie. Anyway, I spunked all over her tits and she tells me I was the best she's ever had. I put my clothes back on and went home.

 

This is now the biggest lie you've ever been told.

 

Forget triple gay... that was triple awesome.

[Egg Shen]

I worked with a compulsive liar for a few years, he talked bollocks but it was harmless stuff. His street fight stories were legendary, he would always add in ridiculous things like he hit a stone cold stunner or he pressed slammed someone. There was one epic tale of him beating up a Tongan international rugby player. Great stuff.

 

A few other classics were:

 

* was on the books as a pro footballer with aston villa.

* was on first name terms with Angelina Jolie and hung out on the set of Tomb Raider.

* was the best clay pigeon shooter in the uk.

* broke every leage record in a single rugby game, most tries-conversions-penalties.

 

There's hundreds more but thats off the top of my head.

 

The craziest thing about it all is that years later i found out that he did actually beat up a Tongan international. So it makes me wonder if this guy really was the most amazing man to have ever lived?

[Bus Surfer]

I worked with a compulsive liar for a few years, he talked bollocks but it was harmless stuff. His street fight stories were legendary, he would always add in ridiculous things like he hit a stone cold stunned or he pressed slammed someone. There was one epic tale of him beating up a Tongan international rugby player. Great stuff.

 

A few other classics were:

 

* was on the books as a pro footballer with aston villa.

* was on first name terms with Angelina Jolie and hung out on the set of Tomb Raider.

* was the best clay pigeon shooter in the uk.

* broke every leage record in a single rugby game, most tries-conversions-penalties.

 

There's hundreds more but thats off the top of my head.

 

The craziest thing about it all is that years later i found out that he did actually beat up a Tongan international. So it makes me wonder if this guy really was the most amazing man to have ever lived?

 

Who the fuck is this?

[Egg Shen]

boy called Jimmy, he's from Rassau