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NEWM

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My first paid job was a part time job in my local Halfords. Absolutely class job, 90% of us were between 16 and 18 and just fucked around all weekend, 'tested' out all the cleaning products by coating each other in it, played football all over the shop, had races up and down aisles on bikes, electric bikes, electric cars etc. We did fuck all, never buy shit from Halfords, the staff have probably ruined it already. Was also quality when I got my first car, got every thing from parts to alloy wheels and head units at trade prices, managed to get literally thousands of pounds of stuff for a few hundred quid, dont think you can get way with it anymore though.

 

Oh and I havent been there for the best part of 5 years and my discount and trade cards still work, the place is a shambles.

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It was a temp job at some company that processed mail and donations for charities. It was largely shit except for the occasional pretty funny replies that some people took the time to send back.

 

Going through a batch of Amnesty International mail, one person had taken the time to write "BOLLOCKS" a few dozen times all over said form. I seem to remember another one telling them to fuck off because they help Pakis and Yids, which was pretty nice.

 

The best one though was when we were doing some for the RSPCA and some old dear and enclosed a long letter asking what the best products were for cleaning the teeth of her pet cat, and she even enclosed a picture of said cat and its gnashers as well as the TOOTHBRUSH SHE HAD PREVIOUSLY BEEN USING to see if she was doing it right.

 

This was my first 'proper' job anyway but the porn sites stuff was technically my first.

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Working part-time in Sainsbury's whilst at 6th Form. I started out stacking shelves, but ended up working in Stock Control, which was pretty cool. I'd just sit out the back, listening to trance music and talking about wrestling with the guy who worked on provisions. First full-time job was Credit Control Assistant for a forklift truck company.

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First proper job, not including delivering papers or collecting milk money with my milkman neighbour was working in a video shop. Did it from 16 - 18 whilst I was at college, weekends & pretty much full time when the schools were off, best job I've ever had despite the money being pants. It was a proper video shop too, none of your Blockbuster or Ritz bollocks where you have to speak like you're in McD's...'Would you be interested in some popcorn for just a pound extra?'. The walls were 10 posters deeps with the latest film posters stapled over the older ones, there was an autographed, framed picture of Michael Dudikoff on the wall behind the counter & a TV playing whatever film I saw fit to put on. When it was quiet I'd sit behind the counter eating penny sweets & watching films & when it was busy at weekends I'd try beasting into girls & make snide comments about customers shit taste. I was 'Randall' from Clerks & I loved every minute of it.

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Between terms I packed windshields in a factory for 20p a sheet - it had been 25p until the week before I started. The aircon was broken so during summer you baked and during winter you froze. Splinters from the wooden crates, small knicks from the glass, grease from the metal chains that sometimes held the windshields in place, sweat, monotony and exhaustion were my enemies.

 

Got a nice gash in my palm from catching a stack of Jaguar S-type windshields from falling and smashing on the floor but the sudden impact of catching them caused the first one to crack. Also once dropped a 12-inch thick roll of the plastic covers on my big toe where I lost the toenail and spent a few nights soaking it in Potassium II Promanganate. Weird solution that, the liquid is purple yet stains your skin brown. In some respects I hated it, but my best single day I made

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I spent one day when I was 17 selling double glazing door to door. I didn't sell any though. I hated every second of it, which explains why I only did it for one day. Everything about it was ridiculous. I didn't even have an interview, I got a flyer walking down the highstreet like you do, saying "earn

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My first job was in McDonalds when I was 17, everyone was paired up and on some kind of drugs, was quite a shock to the system at the time as i'd been quite shelterd by my middle class up bringing. Really opened my eyes to some things and managed to get abit of action out of it. Job itself was shite though but in all it really helped me mature and I'd never want to go back.

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