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Personal Low Points/The Weirdo Thread


Frankie Crisp

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Just when you think this thread can't get any lower, KrAzY comes in with his mopping-up Refusenik tale.

 

Up next, crazyshady and how a bit of a wrapper off some Toffos fell out of his pocket once and blew away before he could pick it up.

 

I said it wasnt the lowest of the low, I just felt bad for being a pussy and phoning the boss and saying I dont want to work anymore on my first shift

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Just when you think this thread can't get any lower, KrAzY comes in with his mopping-up Refusenik tale.

 

Up next, crazyshady and how a bit of a wrapper off some Toffos fell out of his pocket once and blew away before he could pick it up.

I said it wasnt the lowest of the low, I just felt bad for being a pussy and phoning the boss and saying I dont want to work anymore on my first shift

You're a real bad egg, Krazy.

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Just when you think this thread can't get any lower, KrAzY comes in with his mopping-up Refusenik tale.

 

Up next, crazyshady and how a bit of a wrapper off some Toffos fell out of his pocket once and blew away before he could pick it up.

 

I said it wasnt the lowest of the low, I just felt bad for being a pussy and phoning the boss and saying I dont want to work anymore on my first shift

But you didn't feel so bad that you just got on with it and cleaned the place. Seriously, cleaning!? How hard do you think it is?

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My low points are me generally treating women like shit, which I never considered I did but in hindsight I wasn't the greatest friend of women. It generally stemmed from a lack of self-esteem, desperation and a need for intimacy that I hadn't got in years . I'd get caught up in the vibe with somebody I didn't like who liked me and get their hopes up. Rather than be honest, I'd try and wriggle off the hook in the slimiest possible way. Happened more than once too. I was very close to shagging the ugliest girl I've ever worked with. I basically made it clear I was up for it and she was pretty much infatuated from early on. She lived with her mum and if she'd said "come over tonight", I would have done it. She made me wait until Sunday and I made my excuses when I'd come to my senses. I got my shit together, lost quite a bit of weight and refound my self esteem. Thinking back, I kind of hated women.

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About 25 years ago me & my mates were pretty hardcore drinkers. We literally went out 8 times a week for a whole year (twice on a Saturday). We booked a trip on North Sea Ferries to Amsterdam, One by one, We all humiliated ourselves (two mates had a fight with each other in a cabin, one mate held up the coach as he left his luggage on the ferry, two had to sleep on the floor after i successfully nicked their keys & locked them out of the cabin). But the the most spectacular was done on the last night of the four day bender, by me!

 

Half of this i can remember, the other half of the story was relayed to me by witnesses. Me & my mate hit the sack in the early hours, well pissed (for a change) My so called friend said he was than woken by me, scratching at the cabin door in a pissed up/sleep walking state. So he did the decent thing & let me out!

 

I remember waking up at the other end of the ferry, wearing nothing but a pair of stonewashed jeans. Although it was the early hours of the morning, there was always loads of people milling around. In my almost unconscious state i remember these people pointing at me & laughing as i pissed my jeans with such a ferocity that the piss was penertrating my jeans, running down my legs & changing the colour of my strides a few shades darker!

 

As i regained full consciousness, i remember feeling a loneliness in my heart that was so depressing that i will never forget it. God only knows how i made it back to my cabin? I remember knocking on random cabin doors, assuming that i would get lucky? :(

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I'd got out of a shit long-term relationship and for a long time was all sadface about my lovelife and generally had absolutely no confidence what so ever. After a long dry spell of absolutely nothing going on, I ended up meeting this girl who was smoking hot. More shocking to me was that she was all about me. We went on a great first date where I felt like the smoothest motherfucker around, as I'd gone in for a snog at the end of Marvin Gaye's "Lets get it on" and she was more than happy to indulge my silky moves.

 

Roll on another couple of dates, and having her be all over me, we ended up at her place. A lot of messing around for like an hour before she kindly pointed out that "I want you to fuck me". Unfortunately when it got down to slipping on the jimmy-hat and getting down to business my penis suddenly went "What the fuck is this nasty thing on me". It had been a good 4 years since I'd worn one and the memories of just how horrible they are came flooding back. The result was a sudden deflation of my engorged penile glands.

 

I got the "it's me not you" text message two days later.

 

Low.

 

That is probably the most depressing one.

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