Paid Members tiger_rick Posted September 9, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted September 9, 2011 I didn't kill my kid I didn't kill my wife Please, you gotta believe me I didn't take my own life. Â He locked me in a cupboard and strangled poor Nancy Then he took away my little boy with a move he stole from me. Â He fitted me up by text so I'll always carry the can but the internet was right, It was that bastard Sullivan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
insert_name_here Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 Splendid stuff there Rick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spotlightmagnet1 Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 I wake in my household at 9 o clock Ready to look for work and all that schlock But my mother's there first and takes no heed When I beg not to watch ITV.  Lorraine Kelly's all brightness and smiles While talking to twats about infected piles She smirks at her guests and all there quips Intending dread like a mistress with a studded whip  Up next is Jeremy Kyle and his assorted shits So he can shout at chavs and demonise cannabis Wife beaters, thieves and shit parents converge To be televised as a social turd But Kyle gets thrills as he struts around the stage Like a jack russell taunting pitbulls with mange.  Now it's This Morning with Philip Schofield as the Cheshire Cat Grinning innanely like a massive twat And Holly there as his co-host all warm and inviting About as smart as mentally retarded tarpaulin They've got guests and surprises and things to shock and awe Oh wait, it's Katie Price and a transexual again, big yawn.  In case you haven't abandon your living room from the torment You can now enjoy a terminal dose of Loose Women They sit and talk about hot button issues While jibing each other about sexual innuendos If talking about Carol thingy vision impaired boy toy doesn't please Then just wait for Denise talking about her vaginally disease  Please heed my warning even if you have nothing else, Just run away from ITV and save yourself Watch the Mentalist, Top Gear or just go outside This is so bad, you'll end up pouring acid in eye. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Lawrence Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 There once was a man called Vince, who had a cock that made the birds wince, he often got it out, and gave out a shout, come here linda, give it a rinse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Shit Poster Posted September 13, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted September 13, 2011 Watch out:by The Shit poster  Late at night when girls are walking home there is only one man to avoid uk fan forums very own boyd He will try to grab your double tops like darting legend Colin Lloyd failing that he will try and smash your bullseye with a tear in his eye claiming depression He still claims innocence no confession but give him a smith and weston and he will have bitches undressing He pisses off mods trying to do their jobs moaning on 4FW about Neils supposed issue But Neil tried to save you telling you to shut up guess you just didn't listen same goes for your jailbait women boydy still getting clammy watching young girls go into clothes shops called tammy his grammar is is the pits and his posts are shoddy probably because he spent too loong in jail getting barebacked by big Mick and little Roddy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Shit Poster Posted September 13, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted September 13, 2011 Tiger Rick my hero: by The Shit Poster Really effective moderator Intelligent topic poster Caring and kind Kind of scary  Oh Tiger Rick the man with the 15 inch dick Thats why when everyone sees you they say oh what a prick you ended a dynasty in the p but the clever posters are still here c I got suspended for a week but come on tiger even poor clowns have to eat doing a top job as a mod nearly got the ukff kicking off like that london mob I used to be Mr West Then I was the fobiddens lackey I may now be the the shit poster but at least my poetry is not crappy Now for the first time in uk fan forum history someone is about to get suspended for poetry although it may come as no suprise I am still lackeying for the forbidden for life Air raid, Small,Loki and green, Ian the Butch one and the less important members of the team Tiger Rick remains my hero but as Scott Malbranque would say I think you have caught the gay Now, now Rick this is just banter stop treating the ukff like the white man treated the black panthers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Chest Rockwell Posted September 14, 2011 Moderators Share Posted September 14, 2011 Nice to see you spent your week off productively. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 Nice to see you spent your week off productively. :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daaaaaad! Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 I call this one 'Mid-Card Forumite'. Â My name was not said. Why does no-one notice me? Am I so boring? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loki Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 A haiku called The Burden of Power  All I do is help People need to get a life Head shaped like an egg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Astro Hollywood Posted September 14, 2011 Moderators Share Posted September 14, 2011 You guys really don't go in for subtle, huh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Justice Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 Oh friend of mine, oh friend of mine We have been friends for such a long time. Walks in the park on summers eve, I called you Dave, you called me Steve. Â Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loki Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 You guys really don't go in for subtle, huh. Â It's overrated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members CuckedByMenry Posted September 14, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted September 14, 2011 My entrance theme lied I can't slap a tornado I can barely walk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barrington Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 I have to work until 8 I really wanna fuck off I took a well early lunch I opened my lunch and then scoff  I threw it in my gob as I watched Alan cartridge I print random pictures for fun so they'll buy another ink cartridge  I see patients walking around but Dr's I see more I'll stand here like mug like I should No need to thank me for holding the door  They have no bloody manners They never acknowledge me Where the fuck was that On 24 hours in A+E  People stop to ask for directions And I happily oblige just down these stairs as I kick them and leave them down there to die  People in this department are miserable they moan and it dont make sense they act like your friend but then in the end they're all a bunch of Harvey Dents (two face) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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