Mr Lawrence Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 My mate Badboy writes some poetry every now and then - heres on he sent me.  The Straight Pube  I Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hyperion Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Same Old Weekend Story  I met a young bar girlie, Her hair had no sight of curly, Does she like skinny emo guys? Hope not, I'm quite burly.  She serves me at the bar, Turns away so I look at her bum, I retire outside to ply my lungs with tar, While feeling butterflies in my tum.  She pulled me one last pint, Looked at me, her eyes did glint, I put my hand in my pocket, And hoped I wasn't skint.  I should ask her out tonight, Who knows what our future could bring, You know I just might, But then leave without saying a thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Fatty Facesitter Posted September 7, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted September 7, 2011 I do love the UKFF, it's brilliant and rather mental, I don't even mind the endless Sunderland posts from metal on metal. I like all of the football banter, and the film threads are spiffy, Just like the film club provided by Gladstone and Loki. Â One mod is getting a lot of stick, which in many ways is a pity, Even if he does support the blasted Hull City. But whatever your views on Mr. Tiger Rick, At least he's banned several posters who were really quite thick. Â air_raid is my current shout for best on-topic poster, But the race for off-topic I think is a little closer, Frankie is a scholar and a gent, brownie is a good lad, but if I met others like The Miz I'd sooner kick them in the nads. Â Others like FamilyGuyPMSL are complete tarts, And you can always expect around 100 replies from IanHitmanHart, neil is the lord and master dictator, the forum's main conductor, Overseeing every poster from TripleGay to the Cum Doctor. Â Others I enjoy reading include Cleetus, chilli and Mr. Houchen, And the old school rivalry between Carbomb and Mr.Seven. If there's anything I really miss on this forum I tread, It's the regular updates we used to get in the naked divas thread. Â Other folks like Magnum and Woyzeck are always a good read, But I don't think anyone can compare in handsomeness to a certain Butch Reed. In short, I hope no one here takes offence, for they are my forum brethren, But I think we'd all love to share the same enthusiasm of the UKFF as our good friend NEWM. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr.Showtime Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Vote, Unvote  These are the rules: one, Play to fulfill your win condition, If you deliberately lean Against your team you will be modkilled at my discretion.  Two, A lynch requires a majority vote too, or Half the remaining players plus one. Three, vote in bold Unless you are told Otherwise.  Four, You may vote No Lynch more, If a majority is not found in time Before deadline The day will end in no lynch.  Five, When a majority is reached live, Day goes into Twilight, For those who don't know This is a film that blows But my site didn't rate it shite Probably.  Eight, Do not communicate Do not communicate Do not communicate Outside this thread without my say-so.  Six, I hope you are following these rules, I know I'm bloody not.  Seven, Deadlines for each day phase Are 7 days from when I announce The day, If a replacement is needed at any time during the day I will increase the deadline when the replacement is found By a number of days I choose Unless the deadline is already two weeks from when I announced the day.  I didn't have to change anything for that last rule, It's already ridiculous.  Nine, Do not quote PMs of mine Do not quote PMs of mine Do not quote PMs of mine Or you will be modkilled, I will also spam your email junk folder Severely, Probably.  Ten, If when, I make a mistake, Please contact me by PM Or, if appropriate, Contact police.  Those were the rules, Play nice, this is a game. Personal attacks and insults will Not be tolerated. But I might still modkill you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members FLips Posted September 7, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted September 7, 2011 ***** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonny Vegas Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 This place has shocked me through the years, but my favourite story of all? It has to be the guy so proud of rape, that he thought he'd tell us all. Â He told us of a girl he'd met, who was drunk and alone in a bar, then how he'd snook her out the place, and into a taxi driver's car. Â He took her to a cheap hotel, then had his wicked way, then told us how he got up early, to make his getaway. Â Written for us all to read, in the style of a pschopathic killer, he was so eager to tell us all, how to plied her with drink to fill her. Â He thought that he'd impressed us all, until someone asked ''is that legal?'', he didn't see a problem with it, and had no idea that he was evil. Â The more that people questioned him, the more he got frustrated, and told everyone that they were jealous, that she was hotter than who they'd dated. Â When someone said Police should come, to speak to this rather strange bloke, he shit his pants at the realistation, and claimed it was all a joke. Â As you can tell no-one believed him, and he was promptly banned, never to be seen again, in the UKFF land. Â I don't know where he is right now, but I hope to god it's jail, he thought that we would love the story, but it was quite the epic fail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Burchill's Buddy Posted September 7, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted September 7, 2011 Vegas, that is amazing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members tiger_rick Posted September 7, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted September 7, 2011 Some talented peeps on the UKFF today. Great stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members tom Posted September 7, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted September 7, 2011 There is a top man called neil, He's the mod on a forum you see, And if you're nice, He'll be coolness like ice  But for the mongs Here's some advice, If you're a bit of a twat, Or a troll, You'll get an hillarious name, LOL!  There is a top man called neil, He's the mod on a forum you see, And if you're nice, He'll be coolness like ice  But for the mongs Here's some advice, If you're a bit of a twat, Or a troll, You'll get an hillarious name, LOL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loki Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Vote, Unvote These are the rules:  tl;dnr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Jaffa Posted September 7, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted September 7, 2011 Midas. With that hideous pink vest. Midas. With his pendulous breasts. Branquey. Who has a bumhole colour fixation. Branquey. Who has a thing for tranny masturbation. Khemical. He is a bit of a douche. Khemical. He is permanently whooshed. Gatso. Who came back as Denzel. Gatso. Who should be locked in a cell. Dillkid. Who's tired of this wrestling lark. Dillkid. Who's the spit of ButchReedMark. Cleetus. He's funny as fuck. Cleetus. He knows The Cat didn't suck. UKFF. I can't help but lurk. UKFF. Without it, i'd have to do some work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members IANdrewDiceClay Posted September 7, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted September 7, 2011 I was working on a poem called "Rape, Sex Offenders, Sucking Cocks and Internet Stables", but it might turn out to be the forums version of the God Save the Queen single, so I wont bother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members ColinBollocks Posted September 7, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted September 7, 2011 I was working on a poem called "Rape, Sex Offenders, Sucking Cocks and Internet Stables", but it might turn out to be the forums version of the God Save the Queen single, so I wont bother. Boo! Don't be a rick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members JNLister Posted September 7, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted September 7, 2011 If there was a man who wrote a poem about Boyd he'd be suspended and would be quite annoyed  But Vegas didn't use names so it's just hypothetical and the mods can't touch him which is quite the spectacle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Fatty Facesitter Posted September 7, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted September 7, 2011 If there was a man who wrote a poem about Boyd he'd be suspended and would be quite annoyed  But Vegas didn't use names so it's just hypothetical and the mods can't touch him which is quite the spectacle.  It wasn't about Mr.B, but rather about the other guy beginning with G. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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