Paid Members bAzTNM#1 Posted June 25, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted June 25, 2011 Just stick them in a front-facelock or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shane O' Mac Version 2 Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Sweet Chin Music is clearly the way to go. Â In all seriousness, we have a plan if someone breaks in. I keep a metal pipe in my room, Mum keeps a knife under her pillow. Personally, I'd kneecap them with the pipe, they'd have no chance of getting away then. Then I'd just wait 2 hours for the cops to finish their Maccas/pizza and come arrest them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Lion_of_the_Midlands Posted June 25, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted June 25, 2011 I have a set of golf clubs in my bedroom and I think a 7 Iron would be reasonable force, a Driver or a 3 Wood would be unreasonable force and a putter would just be silly. Some sort of pitching wedge would probably be ideal but my short game is rubbish, I would probably hook them really badly and they might end up in the fish tank. I don't want an extra 2 months penalty for putting them in a water hazard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barrington Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Would you pull them out of the fish tank or play it as it lies? Things like this, and what would you do if someone tried to mug you on the street, are always on instinct. I like to think I'd twat the assailant, but then again in these situations the guys are more than likely armed so would make it dangerous to do so. In a gang situation, if you manage to get one person down, you better dispose of them of them as harshly as possible. First off it takes one person out, and secondly the rest might get scared and bail at the fear that one of them could be next. Yes there maybe a lot of them, but they dont know which one is going to get it. I know someone dies but fuck it, these three people saw a gang with balaclavas trying to enter their house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghostface1982 Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Just stick them in a front-facelock or something. Not gonna do you much good if he has a knife in his pocket. You're gonna have a liver like a Tetley teabag. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeyBlayze Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 a few years ago our alarm went off while my wife and i were asleep. I jumped up and ran straight down stairs in my boxers and turned the living room light on. There i seen a spider hanging down in front of the sensor. In retrospect i'm glad that's all it was, it was a pretty stupid thing of me to do unarmed and undressed. There's no dignity to be found in dying in your pants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Lion_of_the_Midlands Posted June 25, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted June 25, 2011 Would you pull them out of the fish tank or play it as it lies? Â Â I would take the drop. I am not Jean Van De Velde Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members PunkStep Posted June 25, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted June 25, 2011 Just stick them in a front-facelock or something. This. Put them in a grovit. I've always imagined just stepping through towards them, clutching their left leg either with a sweep takedown or an amateur wrestling slam. Then a grovit or a legbar until I hear a 'twang'. Â I would definitely go for them though, they deserve it for making the conscious decision to break into my house. Plus I would imagine most burglars wouldn't be prepared for someone coming at them like a shooter, and I'd also imagine if they were to fight back they wouldn't be anywhere as aggressive as they wouldn't have that incentive to protect their family & house. It's the 'constraining them until the police arrive' that will be the tricky part. I wouldn't want to strike them with a weapon to the head to knock them out cold in case it does kill them or something. I wouldn't want them to get away even if they didn't take anything after all, as I would want them in police custody and justice served. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Dead Mike Posted June 26, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted June 26, 2011 Sweet Chin Music is clearly the way to go. In all seriousness, we have a plan if someone breaks in. I keep a metal pipe in my room, Mum keeps a knife under her pillow. Personally, I'd kneecap them with the pipe, they'd have no chance of getting away then. Then I'd just wait 2 hours for the cops to finish their Maccas/pizza and come arrest them.  Really??? If that's true it's pretty sad tbh. I'd hate to live my life being that scared/paranoid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Astro Hollywood Posted June 26, 2011 Moderators Share Posted June 26, 2011 Sweet Chin Music is clearly the way to go. In all seriousness, we have a plan if someone breaks in. I keep a metal pipe in my room, Mum keeps a knife under her pillow. Personally, I'd kneecap them with the pipe, they'd have no chance of getting away then. Then I'd just wait 2 hours for the cops to finish their Maccas/pizza and come arrest them.  Really??? If that's true it's pretty sad tbh. I'd hate to live my life being that scared/paranoid  I do a lot of sleep-walking/weird sleep stuff, so I'd be scared of waking up to find I'd decapitated myself, or cut off my penis and balls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members FLips Posted June 26, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted June 26, 2011 I sleep with my hand under the pillow, so no doubt i'd end up impaling myself on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members ColinBollocks Posted June 26, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted June 26, 2011 I've always thought doing the Christian Bale/American Psycho, gear out with a chain saw is the way to go. Who wouldn't run away and never consider coming back from a naked angry man with a chain saw?! Â Thankfully, my flat is so awkward (it has two doors, a narrow spiralling stairway and a small - very visible to neighbours - path leading to the house) that I'm sure the folk robbing me will give up or not even bother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shane O' Mac Version 2 Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 Sweet Chin Music is clearly the way to go. In all seriousness, we have a plan if someone breaks in. I keep a metal pipe in my room, Mum keeps a knife under her pillow. Personally, I'd kneecap them with the pipe, they'd have no chance of getting away then. Then I'd just wait 2 hours for the cops to finish their Maccas/pizza and come arrest them.  Really??? If that's true it's pretty sad tbh. I'd hate to live my life being that scared/paranoid I don't know if she's really that paranoid, but being a tiny woman, she'd have a hard time with a heavy object if it were to happen. If she is, could be due to the fact that we were threatened by a convicted murderer (who happened to be her estranged brother) and we were forced to move house. Also, the place I grew up in was a rougher neighbourhood than where I live now, and we were somehow the only house on the street that was never broken into. Can't always count on that luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Posted June 26, 2011 Author Share Posted June 26, 2011 Still, isn't keeping a knife under the fucking pillow a bit dangerous? What if she cuts her wrists, or her throat during the night? I know for a fact that I end up with my arms under the pillow during the night. Â Why doesn't she keep it in a drawer next to her bed or something? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Green Posted June 26, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted June 26, 2011 It won't work. She may have the knife but she just doesn't have the killer instinct. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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