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Devon Malcolm

Comments that don't warrant a thread - Off-Topic Edition!

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I've never understood the fascination with tea and coffee. Genuinely don't get it. They're both well, proper shit.

 

Absolutely agree. I can just about understand why people might like coffee, even though I don't drink it myself, but tea? It's just a horrible dirty water that tastes like absolute bobbins.

 

Like a transsexual may feel like a woman trapped in a man's body, I feel I am an American trapped in an Englishman's, otherwise I am sure I would not have these feeling towards tea.

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I got a free Scorpion poster with my Mortal Kombat today. 32 or not, it's going on the wall behind the pit, whether she likes it or no...

Well, we'll see later anyway. It'll probably wind up with a compromise on the back of the jacks door.

 

I got a Raiden one, with Scorpion vs Sub Zero on the other side. :thumbsup:

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tea? It's just a horrible dirty water that tastes like absolute bobbins.

 

Don't dip his nutsack in your mug, then.

 

 

When it comes to tea, I've found myself drinking loads more green tea than I used to - I find it's as good as coffee for the energy kick, helps burn fat, but the best thing of all is that seems to have had a pretty positive effect on my mental acuity: I'm more focused, creative and motivated.

 

I do like my coffee, though, to the point now where it NEEDS to be good stuff. Proper, percolated stuff from South America, like Palenque or Macchu Picchu. The only instants I drink now are Alta Rica, Cape Colombie or Suraya from the Nescafe gourmet instant range. Regular Nescafe, and even Gold Blend, tastes like shite. Carte Noire's tolerable though.

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I got shat on by a pigeon today, right on the bloody shoulder.

 

Supposed to be good luck, sir. If I were you, I'd buy a scratchcard.

 

And after you win buy some vanish.

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Mowing the lawn is the most unsatisfying job ever.

I pay my Dad to do mine because I hate the task so much, whereas he likes gardening. the same is true of many DIY jobs around the house.

 

I am 26, Dad is 71. I am a fucking disgrace.

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I'm lucky in that I don't suffer from hay fever, but I am one of these that gets a rash from grass. Add to that your shoes getting covered in grass pulp, vibration white finger because all the foam has come off the handle, having to rake all the grass up, clean the gunk off the bottom of the mower, keep having to pull more wire out the strimmer every time you hit a stone, etc...

 

And when you're done, there's the knowledge that it's got to be done again in a couple of weeks.

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This one is for the ale drinkers here. I recently tasted John Smiths for the first time and thought it was quite nice, but I refuse to believe that's the nicest tasting one. So what ales would you suggest for a n00b?

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This one is for the ale drinkers here. I recently tasted John Smiths for the first time and thought it was quite nice, but I refuse to believe that's the nicest tasting one. So what ales would you suggest for a n00b?

 

Blacksheep Ale

Blacksheep Riggwelter

Theakstons Old Peculier

Punk IPA

Thwaites Lancaster Bomber

Thwaites Double Century

Old Speckled Hen

Dark Lord

Summer Lightening

HobGoblin

 

 

And loads more.. If your pub has a proper pump ask to try and go from there

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Why the fuck do all real ales have to have such stupid names? Peacock Arse Mushroom. Nobber's Purple Vestibule. Just call it Shropshire Ale and fuck off, it's not funny or charming.

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The problem with suggesting ales, is, unlike lager, which has one flavour, you can get a huge range from beer. From golden beer to IPA (hopped to the max) through a session beer, something like a Fullers London Pride, all the way through Hobgoblin to a Imperial Stout. Best advice, find somewhere with a range (Wetherspoons are reliable for this) and try some halves until you find one you like.

 

EDIT:

Why the fuck do all real ales have to have such stupid names? Peacock Arse Mushroom. Nobber's Purple Vestibule. Just call it Shropshire Ale and fuck off, it's not funny or charming.

 

To use your terms: Why the fuck not? The British beer industry is flourishing with thousands of breweries, each needing their product to stand out. If you call them all X Best, and Y Mild, there is no way for the average consumer to go "ooh, I like that one, I'll remember that name" only to go for A best or B mild next time. Unique names create brand "loyalty", and sometimes, Brewdog for example, it's used to create interest (see Sink the Bismarck, Tactical Nuclear Penguin, Tokyo*)

 

TL; DR: More variety = More names

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This one is for the ale drinkers here. I recently tasted John Smiths for the first time and thought it was quite nice, but I refuse to believe that's the nicest tasting one. So what ales would you suggest for a n00b?

 

Not John Smiths

 

 

Why the fuck do all real ales have to have such stupid names? Peacock Arse Mushroom. Nobber's Purple Vestibule. Just call it Shropshire Ale and fuck off, it's not funny or charming.

 

I dunno. The landlord of my local's daughter did the London Marathon to raise money for breast cancer, and he had "Breast Bitter" made especially for it to raise money with a picture of Linda Lusardi on the sign for it on the font, so that was alright

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There is a raft of special brews going around because of this wedding crap that's going on next week, called "Kiss Me Kate" and other such rubbish.

 

I'm going to be dull and get a few bottles in of Golden Glory, finish the bakewell tart and play Fifa. If I get bored of Fifa, I've still yet to watch SuperBrawl VII in it's entirety.

 

If the mood takes me I might extend to Youngs double chocolate stout, or the Waggledance.

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