Jump to content

You're the last person in the world


CuckedByMenry

Recommended Posts

Posted
I gave up on driving anywhere because eventually there will no petrol in the pumps or my battery will go flat, and knowing my luck it would be when I'm miles from home, and my cats.

 

Your cats are dead. How long do you think it'd take you to use up all the petrol in the pumps? Surely then you'd just move on to Diesel, then and LPG vehicle. Think it through.

  • Replies 67
  • Created
  • Last Reply
Posted
Think about it. Food goes off.

 

Not if you put stuff in the fridge. As Stug pointed out before your post, there is electricity.

 

It will still go off eventually you wouldn't have time to get through everything in the supermarket before it goes off maybe best to freeze what could be frozen but veg and fruit even in a fridge will only last a week or 2 at the most

  • Paid Members
Posted

Is everyone proper gone or is it gonna be like one of those wanky end of the world mini series where it turns out there are some survivors, some good, some bad and you have to make moral choices and all that jazz. Because if that's the case i would limit the amount of wanks I was having and occasionally learn how to kill people.... just in case

  • Paid Members
Posted

If theres electric long term I'd assume theres still people out there and go looking for them, but thats a bit pedantic.

 

If there was electric and no one I'd be straight down Morrison's in the van and stock up on tinned food and seeds. This would allow me something to eat long term, and the ability to grow food once I've knocked the 10 surrounding gardens together.

 

Then I'd be down KFC for all the chicken I could eat with another van load of food from the shops.

 

Then I'd start on the long term cultivation of land for my survival and for a change from tinned food. I'd go up the road to the pig farm and if theres still pigs about take what I could cram in the van, so I have some livestock to build upon and eat. The same would go for the neighbors chickens.

 

After that it would be fun, I'd watch all the shit I've built up over the years and never watch or re-watched. I'd be looting houses for food and looking what saucy stuff that hot woman next door but one has about, she must be filth she just must. Also just because I can I'd walk every where naked in the summer. That brings up a point, I may just do the above but move to Cornwall first, taking all I wanted with me in the van/caravan.

 

I'd also go searching for book's or guides for maintenance, something for when the boiler or something broke, but to be honest if something like that happened I could just move or take some one else's.

  • Paid Members
Posted
Your cats are dead. How long do you think it'd take you to use up all the petrol in the pumps? Surely then you'd just move on to Diesel, then and LPG vehicle. Think it through.

 

Why are my cats dead?

 

Truthfully, I never really thought about how much petrol is in a pump.

 

How long would the electric be on for as it would go sooner or later just because there would be nobody at the power station to keep it all working

 

If thats for me, I did elaborate in my post as to what I'd do once the electricity failed.

  • Paid Members
Posted
Think about it. Food goes off.

 

Not if you put stuff in the fridge. As Stug pointed out before your post, there is electricity.

Perhaps you're not familiar with the workings of a fridge/freezer. They don't stop food from going off, they simply keep it "fresh" for longer. And not much longer at that.

 

Ultimately you'd still be fucked. Even if you managed to feed yourself you'd be a paranoid wreck as you got older. That prostate ain't gonna operate on itself.

  • Paid Members
Posted
Perhaps you're not familiar with the workings of a fridge/freezer. They don't stop food from going off, they simply keep it "fresh" for longer. And not much longer at that.

 

Hence move onto the tinned foods, as I said? Workings of a fridge... Fuck me, I hope whatever you're trying to kill to eat has sharp claws.

 

Ultimately you'd still be fucked. Even if you managed to feed yourself you'd be a paranoid wreck as you got older. That prostate ain't gonna operate on itself.

 

Older? Drunken wanking fatality when the boredom seized me, I wouldnt even make my next birthday in likelihood.

  • Paid Members
Posted

Oh yeah, I doubt I'd last six months. It'd be an awesome six months though.

 

Ron Simmons, stop trying to ruin this for me.

Posted
I did elaborate in my post as to what I'd do once the electricity failed.

 

It wasn't directed at you just a question it says the electricity is still on but with nobody at the power station to keep it going I think if your lucky if you got a month before it went out

 

After that maybe get a generator but even then sooner or later the petrol would run out so say at the very most before you had no power altogether you would have what say 3 months and that's been generous.

  • Paid Members
Posted
Oh yeah, I doubt I'd last six months. It'd be an awesome six months though.

 

Six months would take me to within touching distance of said birthday so I'd probably gut it out, but then the sadness of the time the football season usually kicks off and then it not kicking off - natch - would finish me off.

 

After that maybe get a generator but even then sooner or later the petrol would run out so say at the very most before you had no power altogether you would have what say 3 months and that's been generous.

 

Three months you say? Hmm, so thats another three months of Stagg chili, Heinz soup, those curry things you can get..

 

Also as the last human alive, if I decided to off myself before the electricity did fail, I'd consider it my moral obligation to leave some spunk in the freezer.

Posted

That's always the one thing I think they miss out in all those movies like I Am Legend, 28 Days Later etc. The fact is we'd all go and have a right nosey around peoples houses and have a look at their diaries, photos and whatever, and then have a good look on top of the wardrobes as you just know that that wanker from work was probably into some weird gay porno shit and that milf from up the road really was storing the biggest arsenal of sex toys and probably had a shit load of home made grumble too. Its human nature to have a proper nose isn't it?

Posted

That's always the one thing I think they miss out in all those movies like I Am Legend, 28 Days Later etc. The fact is we'd all go and have a right nosey around peoples houses and have a look at their diaries, photos and whatever, and then have a good look on top of the wardrobes as you just know that that wanker from work was probably into some weird gay porno shit and that milf from up the road really was storing the biggest arsenal of sex toys and probably had a shit load of home made grumble too. Its human nature to have a proper nose isn't it?

  • Paid Members
Posted

Head on up to Edinburgh Castle, find a crown, and declare myself king of the world!. I'd also find one of those printing shops and make myself some "Hardest man on the planet", "Sexiest man alive", and "Best in the world at Pro Evo" T-shirts. I'd be sorted.

  • Paid Members
Posted

Personally, should I manage to farm, harvest, plant, grow and make my own food and live long enough to use all the petrol in all the vehicles and stations in England (the ones without keys being hotwired), I'd switch to using a bicycle. Then again by that point I'd probably be ridiculously old or dead anyway.

 

For all you potential necrophiliacs, the bodies have disappeared. As is sometimes the case with live women/men, you'll only regret it a few months later when you bump into them and they look like shit. It's for the best. I'm only thinking of your wang-doodles.

 

Well, if that isn't the gayest thing I've ever typed.

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...