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You're the last person in the world


CuckedByMenry

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OK, if theres still electric then this is awesome. Many boxsets, films etc. Get fucked up nightly watching them. Fashion some kind of sex doll or find a shop in Soho that sells those "real dolls" and take one. And some different clothes to dress it up. And fuck it.

 

That too.

 

Are there animals? If so then I'll have to kill them to survive so there'll be meat. I'm not sure how I'd go about the killing, and it certainly seems like a lot of work.

 

Alternatively, if there aren't what the hell am I going to eat?!

 

Food?

 

What do you eat now? And why do you think you can't have it just because all the people are gone? Does your mom bring all your meals?

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I'd go breaking into nice looking houses looking for nice looking car keys. I'd totally be rummaging through random people's private stuff too. That would be ace. Fuck staying in with DVDs and bags of Doritos, you don't need to wait for the end of the world to do that.

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I'd track down Jamie Redknapp's body, just to make sure he's definitely dead.

 

Then fuck him. LITERALLY fuck his dead body, just because you can.

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OK, if theres still electric then this is awesome. Many boxsets, films etc. Get fucked up nightly watching them. Fashion some kind of sex doll or find a shop in Soho that sells those "real dolls" and take one. And some different clothes to dress it up. And fuck it.

 

That too.

 

Are there animals? If so then I'll have to kill them to survive so there'll be meat. I'm not sure how I'd go about the killing, and it certainly seems like a lot of work.

 

Alternatively, if there aren't what the hell am I going to eat?!

 

Food?

 

What do you eat now? And why do you think you can't have it just because all the people are gone? Does your mom bring all your meals?

Think about it. Food goes off. So all pre-prepared ingredients will be gone after a fairly short period of time. You'd have to actively find something to eat that wasn't rotting and/or mouldy.

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But there are no bodies. If there are bodies then I shall be committing henious sex acts on the corpses of several, London-based, female celebrities. Probably should get some ice as well, to preserve one or two for later use.

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Obviously you'd have to learn lots of new skills, so I'd probably find the nearest library or bookstore. I would do it online, but you know you'd only get distracted by porn and end up wasting another day wanking. Learning first aid stuff would be important now that there are no doctors about. However, all that learning would probably get stressful, so you'd have to lighten the mood by doing things that you couldn't really do before. Y'know like, I dunno, throwing televisions from really tall buildings or taking a shit in the middle of the road.

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Top myself I'm suicidal anyway so that would be enough .

 

However why go to the shops most big supermarkets have a cafe/restaurant so you could cook and they have all entertainment stuff in there already so it may be easier just to stay there at most you may have to get a bed down there or at least find a house a bit closer to sleep in?

 

But yeah most of the fresh food will last what 1 maybe 2 weeks before going off stuff like bread 2-3 days tops

 

What has killed everybody would you trust tap water especially as there will be nobody to make sure it's getting clean

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I guess firstly I'd find a transit van and keys and go to the retail park. Get all the frozen stuff and booze from Costco then go to Comet and get me some extra freezers and the biggest tv and surround system they've got. Help myself to all the blurays I fancy and watch movies for a while. Then assuming there's still petrol around, I'd go grab an Aston Martin or something and cruise around. I'd probably try driving through the channel tunnel and if I made it I'd drive around Europe blasting some tunes. I've always wanted to drive from here to Italy going through like France, spain, Germany etc. Now would be a good time, less traffic if everyone else is dead. Then I'd come back home for the seemingly popular get fucked up and wank yourself to death option.

 

I'd also grab a video camera, preferably one of those invicincible super battery ones like in J.J Abrams' Cloverfield, to document my ruling of the planet and leave the tape with a note just in case someone does turn up after I go. So they could see how I spent the rest of my life, especially the coked up asphyi-wanked end.

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Think about it. Food goes off.

 

Not if you put stuff in the fridge. As Stug pointed out before your post, there is electricity.

 

 

 

 

 

EDIT - who is your avatar, Glad? I'd definitely fuck her corpse.

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Think about it. Food goes off.

 

Not if you put stuff in the fridge. As Stug pointed out before your post, there is electricity.

 

 

 

 

 

EDIT - who is your avatar, Glad? I'd definitely fuck her corpse.

 

That's Mellisa Clarke, and I saw her first.

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