Paid Members CuckedByMenry Posted January 30, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted January 30, 2011 For whatever reason, you wake up to find that there is nobody else in the world apart from you. Of course, there's the chance it's just your town or your country that's been reduced to a population of zero, but no. It's just you. You've searched all the TV channels to find either a 'Please Stand By' graphic, a sea of pixels or the empty chairs of presenters. The most searched topics on Yahoo (should it still be going) are filled with apocalyptic queries that you have entered. You've done a Will Smith and scaled the roads looking for survivors, but to no avail. Everyone could reappear just as they vanished, but it's doubtful. All the emotions have been experienced, more than most the sadness of never seeing your loved ones again (mildly compensated by the joy of never seeing your enemies). The questioning of your sanity has concluded and you've come to terms with this life-changing situation. All that's left is to "run it out", as it were, and occupy your time until you die, be it through age, illness, reduced resources, full-on armageddon or until you yourself disappear. No rules to follow and no-one to answer to. Everywhere and everything at your disposal. An access-all-areas laminate to Earth. Â So, what do you do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glenryck Pilchards Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 Probably have a wank. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members air_raid Posted January 30, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted January 30, 2011 In the following order : Â (1) Put DVD player on. (2) Put kettle on. (3) Log onto UKFF and see which smartarse saw THIS ONE coming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Wretch Posted January 30, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted January 30, 2011 Pop a DVD in and have a bit of a lie down I suppose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members FLips Posted January 30, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted January 30, 2011 Have a mooch round everyone's houses, assuming they weren't rubble. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members SpursRiot2012 Posted January 30, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted January 30, 2011 First things first. I hit the hospital/chemist and get some awesome pharmaceuticals. Then I hit a shop, get some food and stock up on vodka. Beyond that, I dunno. Hang out, I suppose. Is there still electric? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Jaffa Posted January 30, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted January 30, 2011 So, there is nobody else. That rules out getting a bus, tube, train or cab anywhere. I wouldn't know how to drive a car, so i'm stuck. In Tooting. Â First of all, I head to the harware shop and borrow a wheelbarrow. I then take the wheelbarrow to CEX, stock up on DVD's and take them home. I then run wheelbarrow trips to Sainsburys and KFC until I have enough food and Lucozade to pass a few days. I'd then settle in to watch movies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members FLips Posted January 30, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted January 30, 2011 Thing is, even without knowing how to drive, there's no other cars on the road so it doens't matter. Just stick it into 3rd gear and take it easy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members air_raid Posted January 30, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted January 30, 2011 In a slightly more in depth response, totally go looting for what CDs / DVDs I want to keep me entertained till the leccy packs in. Pack the fridge and freezer too for that matter. Drink and medicines, yeah best get me some of those. If you hadnt said everyone was "disappeared" I'd probably pick some of the prettier corpses to knob. Â Pretty much wander around going into the houses of people I know. Read their diaries if they keep them. If they're girls, inspect their underwear. Set fire to things belonging to people I didnt like. Hell, set fire to establishments I didnt like. Pop round the pub, see what I can get out of the hand pull pumps. Steal the dart board and bring it home - if there's only me, no one to complain about holes in the floor. In fact, see if I can cut a hole down to the floor below and attach a rope, repeat with all the floors so I can shimmy down to the ground floor. Thats a point actually, when the electricity packs in, no lift. Sod taking the stairs every day, best set up camp in one of the nicer ground floor flats. Oops, the door fob wont work either, best smash all the glass so I can get out. Hmm, that requires something to keep the ducks out... bollocks, they can have the foyer, they'll never get through my door. Â Pretty soon I'll get bored looting within walking distance so best steal me a bike. Spend some days picking a random direction and cycling that way for an hour, see what I find, then cycling back. Hopefully find some weed, papers, baccy and a rolling mate - somehow I cant roll by hand anymore. Hell, no job to go to, might as well start smoking again. Christ, might as well try all those drugs I never tried. Not particularly leaving much behind now if something goes wrong and I snuff it. Definitely get one of those fancy cookbooks and try cooking everything, now I can just steal anything I dont have in. Â Definitely have a day of watching all the Punk/Joe matches, then all the Punk/Hero matches. Probably also have a day where I see how many wanks I can fit in, then try and break that record the next day. This incidentally has no relation to the previous Punk comment. If all the people are gone but the animals remain, round up about 15 cats for pets. They can have their whole own flat down the corridor. Best loot 15 litter trays while I'm at. Create a little eutopia for myself watching DVDs, eating, drinking, smoking and petting my cats until the leccy goes and the fridge dies. Eat what I can before it all goes off. Then get on the tinned food, cooked in a pan over a fire I start outside. Â Top myself when I get bored of a life without telly, girls or the UKFF. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members ColinBollocks Posted January 30, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted January 30, 2011 I'd just eat my loneliness away. No point worrying about my weight or physical appearance. The food will go off, so it's a waste to leave it. I'd shit on the neighbours front door step too, bitch. Â Thinking about it, sounds alright. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_original Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 go down to Wembley & have a go at taking penalties & free kicks for a few hours, scoring & then play some songs over the PA, pretending its the winner in the world cup final. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members CuckedByMenry Posted January 30, 2011 Author Paid Members Share Posted January 30, 2011 Is there still electric? I feel like the director of The Truman Show now. And yes, let's say there's electric. Â So, there is nobody else. That rules out getting a bus, tube, train or cab anywhere. I wouldn't know how to drive a car, so i'm stuck. In Tooting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members air_raid Posted January 30, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted January 30, 2011 I gave up on driving anywhere because eventually there will no petrol in the pumps or my battery will go flat, and knowing my luck it would be when I'm miles from home, and my cats. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members SpursRiot2012 Posted January 30, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted January 30, 2011 OK, if theres still electric then this is awesome. Many boxsets, films etc. Get fucked up nightly watching them. Fashion some kind of sex doll or find a shop in Soho that sells those "real dolls" and take one. And some different clothes to dress it up. And fuck it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Ron Simmons Posted January 30, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted January 30, 2011 I think I'd panic. Â Are there animals? If so then I'll have to kill them to survive so there'll be meat. I'm not sure how I'd go about the killing, and it certainly seems like a lot of work. Â Alternatively, if there aren't what the hell am I going to eat?! Â Depressingly, in this scenario I think the only real option is to go on a bit of a nosey around the neighbours houses, then have a bite to eat before snuffing it David Carradine style. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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