Great Wrestling Promo Transcripts *Spoilers*

[mim731]

I've seen that "Hard Times" promo mentioned in two seperate threads today and I still don't see what's so amazing about it. Without patronizing me can someone explain why it's seen in such good light?

 

Do you want me to run you through Blade Runner as well, while we're at it?

 

No. Blade Runner is dull enough to watch, never mind have it explained.

 

In some quarters you would be burnt at the stake for saying things like that!

 

The Met Quarter?

 

Those scousers do love a good replicant!

[ShortOrderCook]

Thought i'd update this with some much required MADNESS~!

 

 

 

'Y'know 'Macho Man' Randy Savage, there is a lot history between you and Jake 'The Snake' Roberts.'

 

 

'If all you women out there were forced to watch your man or you husband laid out unconscious, facing even further injury yeah, that might make you a little bit upset. That might make you a little bit over the edge. That might make you a little bit insane, if you know what i mean. And if you men out there were forced to watch your wife or your woman or your main squeeze, yeeahhh, BEGGING to another man and then getting SLAPPED by another man, that might make you a little bit upset. That might make you a little bit over the edge. That might make you a little bit insane. But not me Snakeman, not me. Because i know what i'm going to do to you TONIGHT! ...Y'know something...maybe i am insane. Maybe i am insane. And maybe it's time for you Jake 'The Snake' Roberts to FIND OUT HOW INSANE I AM, YEEEAAAHHH, RIGHT NOW! YEEEAHH!'

 

 

 

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''The Macho Man' Randy Savage, come on in, you're going to be defending against 'The Dragon' Ricky Steamboat, what's the cup for!?'

 

 

'Wrestlemania III, Pontiac, Michigan, yeah. Ninety-thousand plus people watching right there and this is Ricky 'The Dragon' Steamboats cup of coffee in the big time, yeah. CUP OF COFFEE IN THE BIG TIME because he'll never get closer than now. I am the Intercontinental Heavyweight Champion and will remain the Intercontinental Heavyweight Champion and Geroge 'The Animal' Steele, on the outside, will be no factor, yeah.'

 

'You say no factor, obviously he is a factor or you wouldn't have even brought it up.'

 

 

'Oh wow, Mr Sarcasm yeah. I don't care if you've got twenty-three wrestlers around the outside, it doesn't even matter no. Because i am ready and i will not let this opportunity slip through my fingers. Cup of Coffee man, yeah. ...Man. ....WOW MAN, FREAK OUT!'

 

 

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'...Wrestlemania III at the Silverdome Pontiac, Michigan, it's a day that i'm certain my guest at this time will not forget, i'm talking about the former Intercontinental Champion of the World, Macho Man Randy Sav...'

 

[interupting]

 

'Nothing means nothing!'

 

'Noth...?'

 

'Nothing mean nothing, maaan.'

 

'Nothing means nothing? What do you mean by that?'

 

'I'm talking about all the way to the top, yeeeah. I'm justifiably in a position that i'd rather not be in. But the creeeam will rise to the top, oooh yeah. Macho Madness, yeaah has got more to offer than President Jack Tunney thinks that i got yeah and let me tell you something right now, cards stacked against the Macho Man Randy Savage and Wrestlemania III let me say it yeah, let me say it out loud and let me point to the President of the World Wrestling Federation, The Macho Man Randy Savage is not happy with your desicion, yeeeaah. I AM THE CREAM in the World Wrestling Federation and there is no doubt about it, yeah, you Mene Gene Okerlund you know that i'm the CREAM OF THE CROP!'

 

'Wait a minute though Randy, i've got to ask you very seriously, do you blame Mr Jack Tunney, the distinguished President of The World Wrestling Federation for Ricky Steamboat being the Intercontinental Champion today?'

 

'Yeah, i do, yeah. Outside interference, yeah. IN MY MOMENT OF GLORY! Yeah. And now i'm living in a nightmare. And i am the cream. And now, not only the Intercontinental Heavyweight belt must fall but, The WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP BELT! Because Hulk Hogan yeah, i am the cream, yeah, the cream of the crop. And there is no-one that does it better than the Macho Man Randy Savage! On balance, off balance, doesn't matter. I'm better than you are, yeah and i'm talking everyone in the World Wrestling Federation. And i'm even talking to President Jack Tunney, yeah. I'm on my waaay and nothing is gonna stop me. Nothing's gonna stop me.'

 

 

'Y'know just out of curiosity Randy and i certainly don't want to diminish your tremendous God given talents but i'm very curious, i haven't seen Elizabeth lately.'

 

 

'Yeah. She's on the outside of the ring, does she interfere in matches? Yeah? Nothing, zero, pure athlete yeeah and i've been uh yeah, maligned from the top to the bottom and because they can't handle the Macho Man Randy Savage, THE CREAM OF THE CROP, NOBODY DOES IT BETTER!'

 

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'In the World Wrestling Federation, here is a man who has not only turned it around 180 degrees...'

 

'180 DEGREES!'

 

'But he's gone another 360.'

 

'360!'

 

'And then another 180.'

 

'...'

 

''Macho Man' Randy Savage, you have changed over the past couple of months, like i can not believe Sir.'

 

'I'm a chameleon, yeah uh-huh.'

 

'A chameleon?'

 

'Uh-huh, yeah. I'm talking about the beat goes on yeah. And the beat goes on, yeah. And the beat goes on. And the videoscope yeah i am looking right into you right now, Macho Madness, right now. Sugar is sweet and so is honey, Macho Madness is on a roll and it can't be stopped, no. Elizabeth understands what i'm talking about yeah. Uh-huh!'

 

'Why is it Macho Man, when i sit and talk to you, stand and talk to you for that matter that i think of old Sonny and Cher hits. Why is that?'

 

 

'Unbelievable. Time distortion. Space is the place Mene Gene Okerlund, go down that lonesome highway, yeeaah! But don't be hypnotized no, reincarnation doesn't have to be. You can concentrate and you can uh, mental telepathy, yeah.'

 

'But the beat goes on.'

 

'But the beat goes on.'

 

'That beat in particular has got to include, maybe The Honky Tonk Man, the Intercontinental Champion of the World? I know I know you're not getting on real well with members of the Bobby Heenan Family Macho Man, not at all.'

 

'Let me tell you something right now, talking about the greatest Intercontinental Champion that ever lived? The Honky Tonk Man is out of line, yeah. Because i am the greatest Intercontinental Heavyweight Champion that ever lived and i'm the greatest professional wrestler that ever lived and i'm living now yeeeah, right now uh-huh.'

 

 

'You know, he makes no bones about making the proclamation that he is, i'm talking about The Honky Tonk Man, the greatest Intercontinental Champion of all time.'

 

'He says i can't sing and i can't dance, but i can make romance, yeah, right there the fork in the road. I said go right and Elizabeth said go left. I went right and then and then i understand what that situation was, i went over that one bridge yeah and then when i crossed that bridge i found out that i was on the right side and i said Elizabeth follow me, yeah! Because i'm going straight to the top. The stars yeah, the stars. One shining star in the night, shining brighter than all the other ones and i'm talking lightyears away, yeah.'

 

 

'You're talking...Macho Madness.'

 

 

'Macho Madness, yeah. Macho Madness rolling'

 

[interrupting]

 

'Thought so.'

 

 

'Yeah, you thought so but, i know so and Macho Madness is coming straight at you Honky Tonk Man and like, yeah because i'm on a roll and i ain't stopping yeah. Elizabeth go right and i'm going left!'

 

 

'Can i ask you a question Macho Man?'

 

'NO MORE QUESTIONS!'

 

'I'm sorry about that. 'Macho Man' Randy Savage!'

[Up Chuck]

It was going to make it here eventually.

 

Raw, 27th June 2011. WWE Champion lies in the ring, having just lost a tables match to R-Truth after interference by number 1 contender CM Punk. Punk grabs a microphone, walks up the ramp and sits cross-legged on the stage.

 

John Cena, while you lay there, hopefully as uncomfortable as you possibly can be, I want you to listen to me. I want you to digest this because before I leave in 3 weeks with your WWE Championship, I have... a LOT of things I want to get off my chest.

 

I don't hate you, John. I don't even dislike you. I do like you. I like you a hell of a lot more than I like most people in the back.

 

I hate this idea that you're the best.

 

Because you're not. [pointing to himself] I'm the best. I'm the best in the WORLD. There's one thing you're better at than I am and that's kissing Vince McMahon's ass.

 

You're as good as kissing Vince McMahon's ass as Hulk Hogan was. I don't know if you're as good as Dwayne though, he's a pretty good ass kisser. Always was and still is.

 

Oops, I'm breaking the fourth wall! [waves at the camera]

 

I am the best wrestler in the world.

 

I've been the best since day one when I walked into this company, and I've been vilified and hated since that day because Paul Heyman saw something in me that nobody else wanted to admit.

 

That's right, I'm a Paul Heyman guy. You know who else was a Paul Heyman guy? Brock Lesnar. And he split just like I