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Friendship, Unrequited Love, and Creepiness


NEWM

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This thread has degenerated in a way I'm most pleased about for a lazy Friday afternoon.

 

Anyway, if you really cared about her, and loved her as a friend or whatever the hell you're calling it, when she was in all of those relationships you should have fucked off out of her life a bit and let her be in an "Us" with somebody else.

 

And if you really, really loved her as a friend and weren't thinking of your own wang, you'd have been miffed with yourself for being the reason one of her boyfriends bailed on her and (presumably) hurt her feelings. But I'll wager you were the sympathetic ear/shoulder/MSN window every minute she needed it, and secretly felt chuffed the two of you were getting closer over her misery.

 

But you don't care about her as a friend, you love her and you're happy to go along with the "special friends" line (which I bet she described it as first) as a bit of self-preservation in the hope that one day she will change her mind, suddenly think you're dead fit, and you can go out with each other.

 

It's such bollocks invented by TV shows scriptwriters when people say things like "Going out with each other would fuck the friendship up", because they saw it on Friends or whatever. It's always because one side loves the other and the other doesn't love back. Going out with somebody after being their friend is ace - it removes so much of the early-relationship shocking-discovery-about-their-personality squabbles. If you break up, that's tough shit and in theory you might end up one friend down, but there's always new friends to be made, and by that point you would obviously not be too arsed about her anyway. So no great loss there. The idea of a load of happy romantic times and sex is never ever ever "fucking things up", unless it relates to incest. The reason you think you have is just not a reason at all, sorry.

 

So in a nutshell, you're going about this all the wrong way. What you need to do is keep away from her for a month or two and completely reinvent your look. Get down the gym, the barbers, the trendy clothes shops, whatever it is she goes for in those people she actually fancied, steal it. Then return with that personality of yours she already loves so much, and all of a sudden, you're in the baby function junction. It's just like Roger after the summer holidays in Sister Sister. And he pulled twins! Twins!

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People seem way too interested in this. That's what I find creepy.

 

 

Get the fuck out.. shit is wildly entertaining. I'm loving this shit on a Friday afternoon at work where I can't be arsed to do anything.

Edited by Chest Rockwell
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This thread has degenerated in a way I'm most pleased about for a lazy Friday afternoon.

 

Anyway, if you really cared about her, and loved her as a friend or whatever the hell you're calling it, when she was in all of those relationships you should have fucked off out of her life a bit and let her be in an "Us" with somebody else.

 

I gave her space if thats what you mean, we're not together 24/7, just you can't just abandon your mates because you're dating someone, it doesn't work like that.

 

And if you really, really loved her as a friend and weren't thinking of your own wang, you'd have been miffed with yourself for being the reason one of her boyfriends bailed on her and (presumably) hurt her feelings. But I'll wager you were the sympathetic ear/shoulder/MSN window every minute she needed it, and secretly felt chuffed the two of you were getting closer over her misery.

 

She dumped him.

 

But you don't care about her as a friend, you love her and you're happy to go along with the "special friends" line (which I bet she described it as first) as a bit of self-preservation in the hope that one day she will change her mind, suddenly think you're dead fit, and you can go out with each other.

 

Not really, we're best friends, thats all it'll ever be, and no, the "special friends" line wasn't used by her first, and trust me, the feeling is mutual.

 

It's such bollocks invented by TV shows scriptwriters when people say things like "Going out with each other would fuck the friendship up", because they saw it on Friends or whatever. It's always because one side loves the other and the other doesn't love back. Going out with somebody after being their friend is ace - it removes so much of the early-relationship shocking-discovery-about-their-personality squabbles. If you break up, that's tough shit and in theory you might end up one friend down, but there's always new friends to be made, and by that point you would obviously not be too arsed about her anyway. So no great loss there. The idea of a load of happy romantic times and sex is never ever ever "fucking things up", unless it relates to incest. The reason you think you have is just not a reason at all, sorry.

 

I can see where you're coming from in a way, but we're too close, it'd hurt both of us way too much if we didn't have each other anymore, so we're just not taking that chance.

 

So in a nutshell, you're going about this all the wrong way. What you need to do is keep away from her for a month or two and completely reinvent your look. Get down the gym, the barbers, the trendy clothes shops, whatever it is she goes for in those people she actually fancied, steal it. Then return with that personality of yours she already loves so much, and all of a sudden, you're in the baby function junction. It's just like Roger after the summer holidays in Sister Sister. And he pulled twins! Twins!

 

Considering her "Guns n Roses" hoodie, love for 80's music, and various other stuff, I'm fine as I am. :D

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This is great. Seriously fantastic.

 

Midas - I notice that you're from Sheffield. I work up Eccy Road, and I'm always up for having a pint if you like.

 

Well I'll prolly be at the Lescar for the comedy festival if you're down for that?

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Hear is my two cents as I have a very similar situation

 

I fell for a girl earlier this year big time, I thought she was way out of my league (still do because she is) but friends of mine told me even though she was pretty I should still give it a go a sthere was nothing wrong with me as they see me through friends eyes and not objectively

 

Turns out she had a boyfriend all along after facebook provided that I wouldnt make a total dick of myself by asking her out so I went back to being friends with her and tried to put my strong feelings aside anyway that didnt work, I couldnt stand to be around her becaasue it just upset me and turned me into a angry and frustrated person

 

It finally came out to her months later and I poured my heart out and she picked her boyfriend whom she had rumored to have split with, little capsules of hope where thrown my way like she clearly isnt happy with her life as a whole but obviosly im not good enough to make her life better or she would be with me, were still friends but only because we are going the same uni and she doesnt know anyone there and needs me as a back up in case she doenst get on with anyone, I care for her deeply still even though I realise deep down she couldnt give a shit about me

 

Best advice is if you have strong feelings for a friend and it isnt going to end with you and them togeather is dont be friends just walk away on good terms the anger and frustration you inflict on yourself and others is not worth it

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