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DVDs and Films You Have Watched Recently #2


The Cum Doctor

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Cumwood Sickzeck's annual film list is mainly what I nick from to sound cool to normal people, I'm a huge fan. I haven't even heard of half the cool shit that pops up in that, but by the end of January I am Mr Coolbollocks to your average Joe Boxoffice. Rubber, Hesher, Dogtooth, the Conan documentary and a good few others from the lists were all I referenced for a while.

 

Inception's shit, mind.

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Yeah, but I sat through that boring shite Hunter Prey because of that list.

 

 

Actually that's a lie, I only made it like 20 minutes in.

 

 

*removes from Amazon Wishlist*

 

It looked shit, but I was going to give it a go, but now I won't. Damn you Woy!!

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I seem to have been a lot easier on Inception than I remember. Having watched it a further two times since (for study purposes, you understand), I can confirm that it deteriorates with each viewing. It's just not a film to go mental over either way though, which is why I found the reaction to it so puzzling when it came out. It was like that Lumiere Brothers film or something. I'll never call Nolan a 'bad' filmmaker per se, but I'll never be able to accept the worshipping of him either. It absolutely baffles me.

 

I think what bothered me the most about Inception was the acceptance of lazy writing and the dismissal of problems that would otherwise be highlighted in a less hyped-up event movie. I remember Mark Kermode (who used to actually have opinions before he and his clown sidekick bought into their own bullshit cult following) lauding the film because, "It doesn't have people standing around explaining the plot to each other". Was Ellen Page's character not in the cut of the film he watched then?

 

Like the majority of Nolan's output, it's too long, quite dull and features sketches rather than fleshed-out characters. There are nice moments in there, of course, but it's a fucking slog to get through. Incidentally, Hans Zimmer remains one of the more irritatingly overrated and lazy composers out there (listening to his score for The Dark Knight Rises at the moment and it's the very definition of "phoned in") but the track that closes Inception - 'Time' - is really quite lovely (and by far the most restrained piece on the OST). I stumbled upon this Daft Punk-esque remix of it last night and it's worth sharing: http://www.earmilk.com/2012/07/07/pilotpri...clusive-tracks/

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I would class Inception as mediocre. It does drag on too long and gets pretty dull towards the end, but it's does have the visual aspect and a neat idea.

 

5/10

 

or **1/2/***** on the bAzTNM scale

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The mission itself is fucking stupid. The whole idea has absolutely no personal ramifications for anyone. What do I care about one corporation one-upping another? Hell...what does Cobb care? Or Ariadne? Or Arthur? Or Eames? Or anyone other than Saito? Nobody gives two fucks, and if the heroes that I'm supposed to empathize with and live through vicariously don't care, why should I? It's just a paycheck for them, and a means to an end for Cobb - do mission, accomplish otherwise totally unrelated goal of getting home to see kids. The whole thing feels pasted-in and not an organic element of the story. An energy contract? That's the best you can do, Mr. I Spent 10 Years Writing This Story? Were those years ages 5 through 15, perhaps?

 

If this film was as smart as it wants you to believe it is, it would have amped up the internal conflict by making the mission itself actually mean something by having the accomplishment of the mission have some kind of consequence, whether it be with any one of the numerous cardboard, one-dimensional side characters in desperate need of some fleshing-out, or with Cobb himself. Imagine the meaty conflict that would arise if doing this mission would in some way harm Cobb's partner, his best friend, or even himself. Turn it into a Sophie's Choice type of thing and make it interesting. Make him have to sacrifice something in order to get what he wants so badly. Make it that much more difficult. That's what an intelligent story would have done. Inception is not that type of story, so it missed that opportunity, as well.

 

This pretty much sums up my problems with Inception. I couldn't give a flying fuck if they were successful at all. It's the biggest problem that (and many other films) have. Make me give a fuck, and then I'll enjoy it.

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'Dom Cobb' is an amazingly stupid name too.

 

And Ariadne. And why the fuck is everyone pronouncing Mal as "Mall"? It's not fucking "Mall". It's MAL. Like Mal Donaghy.

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Curious as to why Michael Caine couldn't just bring Leo's kids to see him, seeing as it's never once mentioned that he's outlawed from seeing them and it's not like he doesn't have clandestine meetings with their guardian. Sure, you could argue a whole bunch of red-tape reasons and Mal's disapproving parents, but the situation reads like life and death for Leo despite there being obvious ways around it.

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For a film that's two and a half hours long, there was a hell of a lot of detail that was rushed through or not explained at all and a whole load of characters that were not given nearly as much attention as they should have been. Ridiculous, really.

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